


In My Dark Times - Stockholm Syndrome

by RoseLyn28



Category: Gay - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Drug Use, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2019-10-07 11:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 79,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseLyn28/pseuds/RoseLyn28
Summary: ⚠️Several Trigger Warnings Apply. Please only read with caution.⚠️Louis Tomlinson finds himself in London at a new university after he transfers from Doncaster on the promise to his mother that he would also get a job in London... and still pursue playing soccer. Louis knows he doesn't wanna quit playing football... but he also doesn't want to quit obsessing over Harry Styles.Harry Styles isn’t like everyone else at university to Louis; and from the moment they spend time alone, they realise just how much they have in common... and they also secretly fight with how they feel.Louis falls too hard for Harry... and soon, he is tangled into the world that only Harry has known, until now.Louis knows from the moment that he meets Darren Johnson (Ben Winston), Harry’s longtime drama professor, that something about him just doesn’t seem right. Louis has no clue whatsoever how deep Harry’s relationship with the 46 year old professor goes... but the more he gets to know Harry, the more he realises just how much Darren has influenced Harry’s mind, and his thinking.**Inspired by the movie Kill Your Darlings and the condition Stockholm Syndrome**Twitter: @DaggersRose28





	1. Chapter 1

Louis sits on the window sill, his eyes glancing up at the dark clouds as his mind wanders. His mind drifts to his mum back in Doncaster, and then back to his classes at London University.

Rainy days have always been a favorite for Louis. Something about the sound and the sight of rain relaxes him. And to him, there's nothing more soothing than small pellets of rain on a roof.

He always keeps his dorm room window open, unless his roommate Stan is pleading for him to close it. Louis knows for a fact that he would leave it open year round if it wasn't for Stan. Stan always did have to ruin everything.

It's not that Louis doesn't like Stan... he's just tired of the same football talk. Louis hasn't made any real friends yet, and he wouldn't really say Stan is a friend.

He lights a cigarette, his phone sounding beside him. He knows it's his mum calling again. He only sighs and ignores it.

He's soon putting on a light jacket and leaving his room, people talking in the hallways.

He walks outside and down the sidewalk, heading for the bus stop not far away. He decides that a rainy day needs a good book to go along with it. Maybe Starbucks.

He's waiting in line at Starbucks a few minutes later, a new book in his hand and his eyes glancing around at the busy shop.

He really isn't in a hurry, but he's also not about wasting time in a coffee shop. There's a book in his hand that he wants to read; and there's a world waiting to be explored beyond this ordinary one.

"That's an amazing book," a voice is soon saying behind him.

Louis turns around to see this tall young man with brunette curls... and for a moment, Louis is speechless.

"I've read the first 2 of the series," the young man continues, his dimples deepening at Louis.

"Oh," Louis finally says, his eyes darting to the book, "yeah, uh, I like unusual books."

"I do, too," the man nods. "I'm Harry."

"Uh, Louis," Louis manages to get out while Harry's shaking his hand.

"Are you a student at uni this year?" Harry asks.

"I am," Louis almost smirks, "uh, I transferred from Doncaster..."

"Your roommate is Stan," Harry speaks up and flashes Louis a grin. 

"Uh, yeah," Louis nods and looks at Harry confused. "I don't know anyone here..."

"No, I know," Harry nods, "sorry. I don't really know Stan. I just know of him. We're not exactly friends. I had just heard about someone transferring from Doncaster. Nice to have you."

"Thanks," Louis almost laughs and turns away as he's stepping forward in line.

He stands still, keeping his eyes ahead, although he wonders who this Harry behind him is now. And why is it that Harry's curls really bother him... but in the best way possible.

Harry's hair isn't all that long, Louis thinks. Bud it's definitely longer than what he's accustomed to. In fact, he's almost positive Harry uses a man bun just by looking at his dress attire. Gucci and Saint Laurent... that's expensive.

Louis almost snorts when he thinks how foolish he is to think that someone like Harry would ever be interested in him. After all, Louis can tell by looking at Harry that the 2 of them probably don't have a lot in common.

Louis is soon grabbing his coffee and walking off slowly, trying to glance back at Harry out of the corner of his eye.

Louis is sighing when he's back in his dorm room, settling in with his book and coffee. He patiently waits for Stan to return from his outing so that maybe he can have the guts to ask who the hell Harry is.

And when Stan arrives an hour later, Louis is quickly putting down the book and glancing at him.

"Hey, Stan, have a question, man," Louis says and tries to smile.

"Yeah?" Stan asks while he's taking off his coat. "Is it about football practice time?"

"No," Louis laughs a little. "Uh, actually I was wondering who Harry was. He said he goes to our college..."

"Harry who? There's several here," Stan grins and shakes his head. 

"Brown curls," Louis is pointing to his hair and saying next, causing Stan to stop smiling.

"Where'd you go?" Stan questions, "where'd you see him?"

"Starbucks," Louis replies, "his curls were like, shoulder length?"

"I think you're talking about Harry Styles," Stan finally admits and almost looks disgusted.

"He said he wasn't friends with you..."

"Yeah, were not friends," Stan laughs a little. "He does seem to have a thing for guys though. You might stand a chance..."

"That's fucking rude," Louis states seriously. "I wasn't saying anything..."

"To be honest, Harry's not much of a dating person," Stan says and shrugs. "He's very sociable... and seems to get along with a lot of people... but... I don't really care for him. He's not a bad person, I don't guess..."

"If you don't know him, how can you judge him?" Louis asks.

Stan sighs and shrugs before he's grabbing clothes to change. Louis' eyes return to his book, and he tries his best to push the thought of Harry out of his mind.

He wakes the next morning and realizes he's running late for school. He's quickly changing clothes and putting on spray before fixing his messy fringe. He grabs his glasses and books before he's leaving the dorm and hurrying across campus, hoping he hasn't missed the introduction.

When he arrives, he sees the professor preparing his notes. Louis sees the front seats filled and he's quickly choosing to sit up towards the back. 

He takes a seat and pulls out his book before he's sighing and checking notifications on his phone.

He sees iMessages from his mum, of course. He only sighs and goes to his Facebook next. He checks in on most of his friends in Doncaster. 

Then, Louis sees a suggested post about liking London University's page. He's quickly clicking on the page and liking it... then, he's thinking about Harry.

Louis isn't even sure why his mind has drifted to him all of a sudden. But Louis quickly lets curiosity get the best of him. 

He's quickly searching for Harry's profile, and he's soon found it. He clicks on it and sees a close up portrait of Harry Styles, and Louis is wondering how he can seem so photogenic.

He bites his lip, his finger hovering over the "Add Friend" button; he wants to more than he wants to admit... but is it the right thing to do?

Louis sighs finally and presses the button, breathing a sigh of relief.

He soon hears someone heading down the aisle close to him. He doesn't look right away, but he hears a small ding as the person gets closer.

When he finally looks at the other end of the row, he sees Harry again, the professor also eyeing him.

Harry looks oblivious to Louis' presence as Louis is watching him on his phone. And suddenly, Louis feels really embarrassed to have sent him a friend request. How lame does he look right now?

Louis lets out a deep breath and slouches down in his desk while the professor begins the lesson.

Louis tries his best to listen, but he can't help but watch Harry out of the corner of his eye.

He sees Harry smiling a little as he's staring at his phone, and Louis can't help but grin a bit himself. Maybe he's the reason Harry looks that way? 

Harry finally slips his phone in his pocket and glances at the professor, while Louis feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Louis pulls it out slowly and sees the words, "'Harry Styles has accepted your friend request. Write on his timeline.'"

For some odd reason, Louis finds himself smiling. A real, genuine smile. 

He starts to put his phone away when he feels it vibrate once more.

"'could've just asked me to sit with you. Didn't have to friend me on Facebook," Harry has written him on Facebook messenger.

Louis almost snorts before he's glancing down the aisle, Harry already eyeing him with a grin.

Louis smiles some and shrugs before he's looking back at the professor.

Harry only chews his gum slowly, the professor eyeing him again. 

Louis starts writing down notes while he glances at Harry every few minutes. He's mainly chewing gum and ignoring the work completely.

Louis picks up his phone and decides to look at Harry's profile a little better. Maybe he can figure out where he's from.

Harry only has so much information listed... but Louis notices right away that Harry seems to be very well off. 

Louis even notices professional photos Harry has had done before; Louis wonders if maybe Harry is some sort of model. After he has seen so many photos of Harry in Saint Laurent attire, Louis begins to wonder if he doesn't model for them specifically. Perhaps only in London?

Louis looks through the photos of Harry, a small grin crossing his lips without him realizing.

He stops on a photo of Harry and then, Louis recognizes the other man as well; it's the professor talking at the moment.

Louis glances down at their professor, Darren Johnson, a 40 something year old philosophy professor, and drama professor. Louis even remembers when Darren helped coach the football team.

Louis glances at Harry again, noticing that he's staring down at a piece of paper now and twiddling his pencil in between his fingers.

Mr Johnson starts talking again and Louis looks up at him once more, seeing the professor staring at Harry again.

Louis doesn't think much else of it; he finally shakes his mind free and listens. He knows that he needs decent grades.

When class is over, Louis sees Harry walking down the steps, Mr Johnson smiling at him. Louis picks up his things slowly, and tries his best to wait on Harry now.

He pretends to be on his phone while Harry's taking a paper from Mr Johnson.

Louis closes his mouth while he watches the professor leaning over and whispering to Harry; and Louis is wondering why Harry doesn't seem too bothered by how close this professor is to him.

Louis finally looks away, seeing a young, blonde haired lad coming over.

"Louis Tomlinson, right?" Niall Horan is asking with a grin. "I'm Niall. I saw you at football practice the other day..."

"Yeah," Louis nods and tries to laugh. "I recognize you. How are you?"

"Oh, ready to play as always," Niall chuckles and glances over at another young man. "That's Liam Payne, he plays with us. He missed our first practice due to his knee injury."

"Ah, shit," Louis sighs, "that's horrid."

Niall nods and begins rambling about something else when Louis' eyes are meeting Harry's finally.

Harry automatically smiles at Louis as he's putting up his papers and walking up the stairs.

"Niall, don't bore him," Harry manages to say as he's hurrying by, his eyes studying Louis closely.

And for a second, the only thing Louis can do is watch Harry walk by... it's too mesmerizing to him.

"He's an ass all the time," Niall shakes his head and smiles at Louis. "If he's at practice, well, it's going to fucking suck."

"Why?" Louis almost laughs. 

"He likes to poke fun of me," Niall shakes his head and shrugs, "and yet, I've played longer than him.... hey, want me to walk with you to the next class?"

"Didn't realize we were in the same class," Louis chuckles and heads up the stairs with Niall, seeing Harry not too far in front of them.

"Yeah, I have almost all the same ones as you," Niall nods and tries to smile, "I have a habit of keeping up with who's in classes with me."

"Oh, gotcha," Louis nods and closes his mouth, staying quiet now as they walk.

He can see Harry beginning to slow down and Louis swallows hard. 

"Horan, what are you telling him about now?" Harry finally asks, Louis listening to that deep, thick voice. He sees Harry's dimples when he's glancing at the 6 foot lad beside him now.

"Nothing really. Was just telling him we have the same schedules, that's all," Niall shrugs and fixes his glasses. "Harry Styles, by the way."

"We've met," Louis nods and smiles at Harry. 

"Yeah, Starbucks," Harry smiles at Niall. "Seems Louis here has great taste in novels."

"Oh, Jesus Christ," Niall groans almost while Harry only grins at Louis. 

"Mine and Horan's tastes are quite different," Harry tells Louis softly.

"Yeah, kinda figured that," Louis nods and glances at Niall, "doesn't seem Niall would like psychological thrillers..."

"I do actually," Niall nods, "but I prefer the straighter versions."

"The gay thing bothers him," Harry tells Louis and shakes his head before smirking, "his loss, I suppose."

Louis almost snorts as they're walking into the building across the courtyard. Louis listens to the 2 of them talking about different books and he's only taking out his phone and looking through his messages.

"Harry, can I have a word?" Louis hears professor Johnson saying a few feet away. He watches Harry nodding and walking off while he and Niall continue to class.

Louis glances over his shoulder at Harry for a moment, watching him talk to the professor.

"Have you gotten to meet anyone else yet?" Niall is soon speaking up, causing Louis to turn around.

"Uh, no," Louis replies, "I only met Harry cause he introduced himself the other day..."

"Yeah, coffee brings out the best of him," Niall jokes and laughs, Louis chuckling some. "Sorry... he's just a caffeine addict. I mean, you have no idea. Probably why he's so fucking tiny."

"Caffeine?" Louis smirks, though he knows he's already noticed how skinny Harry is as well... and he doesn't even know him.

"Well, his metabolism maybe," Niall shrugs. 

"Does he play football?" Louis decides to ask.

"What? Harry? No," Niall almost laughs. "Fuck, no. He isn't too fond of the sport."

"And you know this how?" Louis asks.

"I live with him," Niall looks back at Louis and says. "Harry respects that I love football... but he hates it. He likes American football."

"Oh, damn," Louis says quietly, Niall chuckling. "Wow. Is he alright?"

Niall shrugs and laughs before he's opening the door to the classroom. 

Louis takes a desk farther back, Niall continuing on down below.

Louis bites his lip and looks through his phone again. He looks at Harry's page again and finds himself clicking on his photos.

Louis can't help but feel like Harry's familiar to him; like maybe he knows him, just not very well.

Louis finally sees Harry out of the corner of his eye; he's taking a seat just a few seats from Louis. 

Harry catches Louis' eye and he grins at him, "I really thought about skipping."

"Why?" Louis asks. 

"This class is boring," Harry sighs and shrugs. "I suppose to play football you kinda have to listen though, right? And get good grades?"

"Uh," Louis chuckles, "yeah, well, I need decent grades at least. I like football."

Harry nods and smiles at Louis, "couldn't tell."

"What do you mean?" Louis asks with a confused expression.

"Your photos," Harry points to his phone, "Jesus, you had several Rover posts, and, did your college team win every year?"

"Uh, not every year," Louis smirks and glances up to see Darren Johnson again... taking over for another psychology class.

"What happened to professor Lankford?" Louis asks softly.

Harry shrugs and sits back in his desk on his phone. 

Louis continues glancing over at Harry all while trying to listen to the lesson. He's finding it much harder to concentrate in this class.

He stares blankly at the textbook in front of him while professor Johnson is still talking. 

"Remind me why I wanted to be a psychologist," Harry is soon whispering quietly.

Louis glances at him and grins some. "So you could be bored out of your mind during uni."

Harry nods, and purses his lips, "suppose so. Fucking Christ."

Louis smirks and glances down at his textbook before the professor notices them.

Harry chews his gum obnoxiously loud, and Louis is positive that he's doing it on purpose.

Louis stares over at him while Harry only looks at his phone and continues smacking his gum.

Louis sees Mr Johnson finally glancing their way, and Louis clears his throat a little to try and grab Harry's attention.

Harry looks up and sees Darren staring at him. "Sorry."

"Could you not?" He asks and tries to smile at Harry.

Harry shrugs and looks back at his phone, while Darren is only rolling his eyes and continuing the lesson.

Louis can only grin over at Harry. "Are you always an ass?"

"No," Harry replies, "sometimes I sleep."

Louis almost snorts before he's covering his mouth and trying to be quiet. He sees Harry only grinning as he's propping his chin on his hand and pretending to listen to the professor.

When class ends, Louis is picking up his things while Harry is doing the same.

"Have fun at your other class today," Harry tells Louis.

Louis looks surprised for a moment, "uh, thanks. I'm guessing you have a different one?"

"Performing arts," Harry states and picks up his bag. "Haven't participated much this semester. It's been a struggle."

"Wow. Didn't know you were into that," Louis nods. "I mean, knowing how Niall is..."

"Yeah, we're nothing alike," Harry smirks. "He could pass for my cousin or something really. But, yeah, we're into different things. I've been in plays since I was like 12. Also had piano lessons, vocal... kinda sucked actually."

"Damn," Louis chuckles, "and Niall's just the jock? Are you... you guys together?"

"Niall and I?" Harry smirks, "I told you he preferred the straighter things. He's not like that at all. I just treat him like family."

"He seems very nice," Louis nods before he's sighing. He gives Harry a wave before he's walking off, watching Harry throwing on his sunglasses before heading the opposite direction.

Louis wonders what listening to Harry play the piano would be like. He wonders just how heavenly that must sound. 

His phone begins ringing and he's snapping out of his thoughts as he's answering. "Hello."

"Louis, it's Gemma," he hears one of the only friends he has in London. "Was hoping I could see you today."

"Oh, yeah, that'd be great," Louis smiles some. "Could it be somewhere around the university? I have one more class."

"Yeah, sounds good. I'm meeting my brother, too. He's in some of your classes, I think," Gemma says, Louis biting his lip.

"What? Really? I didn't know that," Louis says softly. "Ok, let's meet in like 2 hours."

Louis sits through his third class, and he finds himself very unable to even listen now; their middle aged professor seems very slow to speak... Louis is certain she's one of those women that probably drive extra slow as well.

He sighs and tries to sit patiently for the class to be over. He knows how long it's been since he's seen Gemma. He hasn't seen her in person since he was much younger.

When he's finally getting the chance to leave class, he's hurrying out with his things, Niall not too far ahead of him.

"Hey, again," Niall chuckles, "hey, have you talked to Harry?"

"Uh, no he had a different class than me," Louis replies.

"Yeah, I know that," Niall laughs. "I live with him, remember? Uh, just was wondering if he asked you about the party tonight."

"Oh, uh, no," Louis says, "he hasn't said anything about a party. Besides, I don't know him..."

"Oh, you will," Niall laughs, "he's really good at making friends. You'll see. Look, give me your cell and I'll send you our address."

"Ok, yeah. Thanks," Louis nods and smiles some. "Haven't been to a party in ages."

Louis finally tells Niall goodbye before he's walking to a diner just a few feet outside the university.

He sighs and smiles when he sees Gemma inside.

"Hey, you," she says with a grin. She stands from the table and hugs him. "Good to see you here."

"Thanks," Louis smiles at her, "it's still a bit hard to believe I'm here."

"Because you waited a long time?" Gemma asks.

"Suppose so," Louis nods, "uh, where's your brother?"

"I can't believe you don't remember him," Gemma almost laughs before she's looking towards the diner entrance.

Louis can smell a mixture of weed and cologne as he's turning around, seeing Harry Styles walking in slowly.

"Harry," Gemma smiles and looks at Louis. "Harry, Louis."

Louis tries not to let his jaw fall open as Harry's grinning at him again. Louis hates when he looks at him like that.

"We've met," Harry nods, "twice before now actually. I don't think he remembers me from when we were younger though."

"Uh," Louis starts before he's glancing to Gemma, "I don't think I've ever really been around you that much."

"You haven't," Harry says and smiles when Louis looks at him. "Felicite, your sister, was Gemma's best friend when we were younger. They just didn't meet very often."

"Oh, right," Louis nods and smiles at Harry. "Oh my god. The kid who liked the Packers. Gemma used to bitch about that."

"I did, yeah," Gemma nods.

"Yeah, well," Harry shrugs and sits down. "I still like them. They're just not very good right now."

Louis smirks as he's sitting down, his eyes glancing over Harry's face. He wonders why he can't remember much about this person? Other than feeling as if Harry is really familiar to him.

"Mum wants to know if you can come this weekend?" Gemma is asking Harry a few minutes later.

Harry nods and glances up at Louis, then to Gemma. "I'm gonna be there for a few hours, yeah. I told her I was sorry about not being there..."

"Harry, she knows you stay busy," Gemma states softly, though Louis isn't sure he believes Gemma's words.

Harry only bites his lip before he's smiling again and looking at Louis, "how do you like it here, transfer? It isn't Doncaster..."

"No, obviously not," Louis smirks. "Uh, I like it. So far I can see why I pay so much for this fucking school."

"You pay for it?" Harry almost snorts. "What?"

Louis shrugs, "I've had a lot saved."

"How old are you?" Harry decides to ask boldly.

Louis grins and says softly, "uh, 22."

"You're 22?" Harry asks. "I never realized you were older than me..."

"I am?" Louis asks.

"Harry's turning 20 in February," Gemma speaks up as she's nodding. "You're more my age, Louis."

"Oh, ok," Louis nods before he's glancing at Harry. "You look older than 19. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise for that," Harry smirks and winks before he's drinking his soda.

"He's probably just thankful he can drink," Gemma nods and rolls her eyes.

"I don't drink as much as you think," Harry retorts. 

"Right. You just use weed and other shit," Gemma replies. 

"Here we go," Harry sighs and rubs his head. "I've gotta go. We've gotta practice some shit at rehearsal..."

"I have football practice," Louis sighs and stands up.

"That's tonight?" Harry's asking as she stands up as well.

"I thought so?" Louis says. 

"Oh. I mean, Darren is helping at rehearsal tonight. I figured he would be attending the game with you guys as well."

"Is he coaching still?" Louis asks.

"He's not the head coach," Harry answers, his eyes meeting Louis'. "He's just involved a lot. Money thing, I guess?"

"He has a lot of that, I'm guessing?" Louis nods some. "I don't know him personally."

Harry glances down at his phone. "Uh, sis, I've gotta go. Really. See you later on."

Harry hugs her and smiles at Louis. "I'll see you later, I'm sure."

"Yeah," Louis nods and watches Harry leaving slowly. 

Soon, Gemma is calling an Uber; Louis tells her goodbye before he's waving and glancing over at Harry not too far away.

Harry lights a cigarette and glances at Louis. "Want one?"

"Uh, no thanks," Louis replies before he's stepping over to Harry.

"You don't smoke? Pity," Harry smiles some before he's crossing the street, Louis behind him.

"You have plans?" Harry calls to him.

Louis looks at the books in his hands. "Honestly, no. I just have homework. Shower maybe."

"Alright. Follow me, then," Harry tells him, Louis only grinning a little.

They finally make it back to the school parking lot; and Louis' mouth falls open when he sees Harry's car waiting for them.

"Is that...," Louis starts as he's pointing at the car.

"Mine? Yeah." Harry unlocks the doors and looks back at Louis. "Would you like to drive?"

"What? No," Louis states quickly, "fuck, no. I don't wanna wreck this."

"Wouldn't really care if you did," Harry shrugs and smiles at him. "Throw your books in the back seat. Come on."

Louis can't help but smile as he's throwing his books into the back seat and having a seat while Harry's starting the engine of this red sports car.

Louis can't help but wonder how in hell Harry can afford something like this; this isn't cheap by any means. Louis isn't even sure he's seen another one of these in London since he's moved here.

"What do you miss most about Doncaster?" Harry asks him, Louis finally looking at him. 

And for a second, Louis can only notice how beautiful Harry's green eyes are; he's sure he hasn't seen anyone's eyes ever this colour green. 

"Uh, my mum probably," Louis replies softly. "We're really close."

"That's good. My mum and I use to be," Harry nods and says. "Uh, do you plan on going home to visit much while you're here?"

"Most likely," Louis nods. "Kinda used to that."

Harry nods a little as he's watching the road. "Understand."

"Where are we going exactly?" Louis asks, Harry looking at him.

"My house," Harry states. "Uh, Niall I thought invited you?"

"He did, sort of, yeah," Louis smirks. "He thought you invited me."

"Oh," Harry says slowly, "uh, oops. Yeah, I guess I should've."

"No, I mean," Louis chuckles, "this is ok, too."

Harry nods as he flashes Louis those beautiful dimples again.

Louis has so many thoughts going through his mind. He could tell Harry Styles so many things right now.... and he's sure he wouldn't regret any of them.

When they arrive, Louis watches the gate around the home opening slowly. Harry presses a button and it's soon closing back. 

Harry opens his garage while Louis' eyes are glancing around this beautiful place.

He notices a Mercedes Benz next to them in the garage and he's looking back at Harry. "Whose is that?"

"Oh, uh, that's Zayn's," Harry replies as he's opening his door. "He also lives here."

"So, you, Niall, and Zayn?" Louis asks.

Harry nods, "and Liam. He's amazing, if you haven't met him."

"Niall told me some," Louis says as he's following Harry up the garage stairs. 

"It's going to be really loud," Harry tells Louis before he's smiling and opening the door.

Louis walks in behind him, his eyes looking at all the people dancing around and having a good time.

"Is there a reason they start so damn early in the day?" Louis asks Harry.

Harry chuckles and shrugs, "uh, it's university. We have fun. Come on. Let's go see Liam and Niall."

Louis nods some and follows behind Harry; he can't help but stare at Harry's curls as they're walking upstairs. Louis wonders if Harry even has to try with his hair?

Louis can't help but notice how fancy this house is as well; he wonders how Harry affords this much. 

"Is this a good neighbourhood?" Louis decides to ask Harry.

Harry smiles and nods a little, "yeah, well, having your own speaker box is nice. Wanna see my room? Maybe have a joint?"

"Uh, I haven't... I haven't smoked in a long time because of football..."

"Don't worry about it," Harry smirks, "they don't care if you smoke weed here. Trust me. You're a jock. You'll get by with it, I'm sure."

"What makes you so sure?" Louis asks confused. "Being a jock usually puts more pressure on me."

"You mean, being good at a sport," Harry nods. "Well, Niall smokes a lot. As far as I know, our coaches have never really cared about it. Other things, yeah."

"Must be nice," Louis smirks. 

"I smoke all the time," Harry shrugs and looks back at Louis. "Honestly, if I'm awake, I'm high."

"Why is that?" Louis asks quietly. "Do you need it to function?"

"Not precisely," Harry replies, "but... I do much better when I'm relaxed. I take life better."

"I do, too," Louis nods. "It makes me very chill."

"Yeah, me too," Harry says before he's pointing to Liam. "Hey, there you are. Liam, this is Louis..."

"Yeah, hi," Liam smiles, "nice to meet ya. Liam Payne."

"Louis Tomlinson," Louis says as he's shaking Liam's hand. "You play football?"

"I do," Liam replies and nods, "hopefully in the next few weeks."

"Yeah, he'll finally stop talking about the fucking shit," Harry groans, Louis only grinning at him. "Anyways, my room is over here."

Louis nods and follows Harry to his room. Harry closes the door behind them before he's watching Louis looking around the massive bedroom.

"It's, uh... sorta like having your own little suite," Harry whispers, "there's a fridge over there by the sofa..."

"Jesus," Louis laughs and looks in the bathroom at the beautiful old fashioned tub and the glass shower. "This is amazing."

"Thanks," Harry says with a small smile.

"How do you afford this?" Louis chuckles and glances back at Harry. 

Harry bites his lip and smiles finally, "uh, my job mainly."

Louis sees a few photos sitting close to the front door; and Louis knows they're more professional photos of Harry. 

"Do you model?" Louis finally asks.

Harry grins, "uh, sort of, yeah. I've done a few different ones. Not really too mainstream. I like to keep to myself."

"I see," Louis nods and looks around at the ceilings. "No wonder you have this place."

"Well, it's... we share it really," Harry states looking away from Louis. "The guys help. It's really lonely."

Louis nods and watches Harry finding a joint before he's smiling at Louis. 

Louis follows him out of the room and to a large balcony outside overlooking Harry's back garden. He sees the swimming pool down below, the lights changing from red back to blue.

"So," Harry starts as he's sitting down on the wall. "What made you pick psychology?"

"Uh," Louis laughs, "it just interests me. I like to know why we all think things differently and so forth."

Harry nods and almost smirks. "That's cool, I guess. Although, yeah, that makes sense."

"Why did you?"

"Uh," Harry purses his lips and looks out at the skyline. "I think... because I think our minds are very complex things.... and that some of us develop differently because of different circumstances. It's... it's something I have always wondered about. Like.... why certain people are the way they are."

"Curiousity?" Louis asks.

Harry hits his joint and shakes his head. "Not curiosity. More like a need to know things. I overthink. I'm great at that."

"So, is that what you go to the performing arts school for?" Louis asks. "Modelling?"

"Oh, uh, yes and no," Harry replies, "I also paint."

"You what?" Louis asks.

Harry grins a little. "Yeah, I have an easel in my room in there. There's also a closet by the bathroom that has paintings in it. I have an empty room that I'm wanting to just... sort of make my room for that."

"That'd be amazing," Louis nods, Harry smiling at him immediately. "I bet your work is brilliant. Seems you'd be very good at paintings."

"Why's that?" Harry laughs.

"You have that type of personality," Louis shrugs and hits the joint slowly, trying not to cough.

Harry chuckles watching him, "easy there. Remember it's been a while for you."

"Oh, shut it," Louis smirks and hands the joint back to Harry. 

"Harry," Louis hears another young man calling. He sees Zayn Malik walking out, his eyes meeting Louis'. "Who are you?"

"He's Louis," Harry replies and grins over at Zayn. "He's a friend of mine."

Louis glances at Harry before he's glancing at Zayn. "Hi."

"Nice to meet you," Zayn nods, "uh, is it alright if I go get that?"

"Yeah, I don't mind," Harry shrugs and looks at Louis, "I'll chill here."

"Are you sure?" Zayn asks, "I mean..."

"I'll be fine," Harry looks over at Zayn. "Go on. I'll see you in a bit."

Zayn nods and looks at Louis before he's walking off again, lighting a cigarette as he does.

"I... I could go hang out with Niall if you need to go," Louis starts.

"What? No," Harry chuckles. "I don't have to go anywhere. He's... he's being an annoying older brother type."

"Ah, ok," Louis nods. "Must be nice."

"Not really," Harry laughs. "Sucks actually being the youngest here. Everyone's always looking out for you.."

"Oh, that can't be a bad thing," Louis smirks.

Harry shrugs and grins some, "I suppose not, no. Just annoying."

Louis takes the joint from Harry and hits it slowly before he sees professor Johnson coming outside.

"Ah, Louis Tomlinson," he grins over at Louis. "Nice to see you."

"You as well," Louis nods and says quietly, although he can already tell that there's something about Darren Johnson that doesn't sit right with him at all.

He pretends to look away as he's talking to Harry now.

"You could've left the paper in my room," Harry says and glances up at Darren. "But thanks."

"Well, I told you that I'd pick up that painting as well," Darren says, his eyes meeting Louis' again. "Are you liking the university?"

Harry rolls his eyes while Louis only tries to smile, "uh, yeah, so far. It's nice. Quite different than Doncaster."

"You'll love the football team," Darren nods some, "they're great."

"Yeah, they seem to be great," Louis agrees.

"Practices are a bit brutal," Darren laughs.

"You're really killing my high with your fucking football talk," Harry speaks up and looks at Darren. "Jesus."

"Not everyone hates football," Darren says and shrugs.

Harry sighs and looks up at Louis. "What else did you do in Doncaster? Besides your football?"

"Uh," Louis chuckles and rubs his chin, "that took up a huge part of my life. I did like to write songs though."

"You write songs?" Harry asks, his tone falling serious as he stares at Louis.

"Yeah," Louis nods and tries to grin. He sees Darren watching him too. "It was just something to do though. I can't say that they were all great..."

"Hey, I'd like to hear one," Harry shrugs and smiles at Louis. "I do play piano."

Louis smirks as Darren is speaking up, "I'm gonna go grab a drink. Want one?"

Harry shakes his head and hits the joint again as he's glancing off again.

"Louis, want a beer?" Darren asks him.

Louis shrugs, "eh, not right now, thanks."

Louis smiles and watches Darren walking inside before he's looking at Harry. "Not a big fan of alcohol?"

"Me?" Harry grins, "yeah, I don't really care too much for it. Sometimes, yeah. I'd rather smoke weed."

"I get that," Louis nods and chuckles, Harry only smiling at him. 

"Do you wanna go dance or something?" Harry asks. "I mean, I'm not sure you're much of a clubber..."

"I'm not really," Louis replies, "I've been to a couple raves, but... yeah, not really my thing. I prefer music and maybe nature... or a good book."

"Wow," Harry almost laughs, "damn. You seem like... really, really mature."

"Yeah, well," Louis says softly and grins. "I'm not completely."

"We could get a snack and hang out in my room if you'd like," Harry suggests, his eyes meeting Louis'.

Louis rubs his eyes and nods, "yeah, sure. Why not."

"Your homework though," Harry chuckles as he's standing up and heading inside.

"Yeah, well," Louis shrugs, "I guess I'm getting a bad grade."

"Jesus, Lou. You should really do it," Harry tells him. 

Louis smirks and bites his lip when he hears Harry calling him Lou.

"I mean, you just got here. You play football," Harry tells him as he's opening his bedroom door. 

Louis follows him in and watches Harry getting another joint before he throws his phone on the bed.

"Your room is just fucking massive," Louis states as he's glancing around. "I'm sorry. I just had to say it."

Harry chuckles a little, "it's fine. It is massive, yeah. It can be a bit creepy."

"Creepy?" Louis asks. "Why?"

"I guess because it's such a big space for just me," Harry shrugs. "I... I don't like being alone. Sounds really childish, I know..."

"It's not childish," Louis tells him, Harry looking back, "some of us just do better around others. We need them, so to speak."

"Don't get me wrong, I love being alone," Harry says. "I like having time for me. But... I hate being in here alone. It's strange."

Louis nods some. "I get it."

Harry lights the joint and opens his balcony door, and Louis can't help but glance around the balcony made out of stone. 

"This place is really something," he says before he means to.

Harry hits the joint and shrugs, "it's an older house renovated into a brand new one."

"Really?" Louis asks. "Wow."

Harry nods, "yeah, they built most of the houses around this one modelled after this one. This one just... has the most land."

"The person that has this house... do they own them all?" Louis asks. "I mean, like did they buy them out?"

"Uh, not that I know of," Harry shrugs. "They probably have money invested into the new homes going up."

"That's crazy," Louis shakes his head and smiles. "I'm honestly surprised that some of the football team doesn't live around here."

"No, most of them don't," Harry says softly. 

"Oh, I figured that they could afford it," Louis shrugs. 

"No, most of them can't afford this," Harry tells him before he's biting his lip and hitting the joint again. "Anyways, do you want food? I have games if you're interested."

"Like?"

Harry points over to his flat screen tv, and Louis sees the PS4 sitting under it. 

"Oh, nice," Louis smiles. He looks at the fireplace under the tv, and Harry's dirty clothes in the floor. He grins a little and says, "don't clean much?"

"Uh," Harry looks around and smirks, "I'm terrible at remembering to get up my shit. Sorry about that."

"It's ok," Louis chuckles. "It's still rather clean. At least you aren't completely messy."

"You sure it's not the fancy decor making it look less shitty?" Harry jokes and smiles a little.

"Well, it might be," Louis replies and grins. "Uh, where did you go to school?"

"Oh, Holmes Chapel," Harry replies and hits the joint. "I finished early. Came here."

"Yeah, you are younger than all of us," Louis smirks. "Are you one of those lads that don't even have to study?"

"No, I do have to study," Harry laughs. "I have struggled this past year... probably the last 3 semesters."

"Oh, Wow," Louis states. "Sorry."

"It's probably my fault. I don't give myself enough time to study," Harry says softly. "I don't know. It's like... my schooling isn't as important as everything else. Even though it really is."

"Don't you have to have certain grades for the performing arts?" Louis asks.

Harry nods and hands the joint to Louis. "I make sure I get just the right grades. I mean, I don't want to quit."

"Understand," Louis says quietly. "I've had to raise my grades before."

"Yeah, me too," Harry sighs. "Thankfully it was only once. I mean, Darren is usually good about dealing with that..."

"He's your drama professor too, correct?" Louis asks, Harry glancing back at him.

"He is, yeah," Harry replies and starts tying his hair back as he's glancing off again. "We have rehearsals about 10 I think."

"In the morning?" Louis asks.

Harry nods. "Yeah. One reason I'm not getting drunk. This isn't one of those nights where I can drink and drink and stay up until 5 am and then crash. I mean, obviously I have responsibilities, too."

"I thought you skipped classes quite frequently?" Louis smirks at him. 

Harry grins, "I might..."

"And you still have great grades? How fortunate are you," Louis shakes his head. "Honestly, I'd be failing."

Harry laughs a little before sighing. "I get to use a tutor for the most part as well. So, I guess it isn't so bad."

"Oh, nice," Louis nods, "Wow. I'm beginning to think you and Gemma are more well off than I thought."

"What? We're not," Harry states. "Not at all. I have a lot of things because of my scholarship."

Louis nods, "that's amazing."

"Hey, you should come and try out for the plays," Harry tells Louis.

Louis almost snorts, "uh, I'm... I'm not so sure that's me..."

"What? Really? You've never been a show off? You're a football player," Harry says jokingly.

"Yeah, well, that would be almost impossible, wouldn't it? Since I do play football?"

"No," Harry laughs. "Niall does it. He's in most of the shows. And he still plays every game."

Louis chuckles, "wow. Uh, ok. Sure. I suppose I could enjoy it."

"You seem like that sort of type," Harry says softly. "Sorry. I didn't mean it bad..."

"No, it's ok," Louis chuckles. "Uh, I always wanted to try... was just too scared to."

"Why?" Harry asks quietly.

"I don't know," Louis shrugs. "I've never been too confident, I guess?"

"Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that," Harry grins a little, "uh, you want something to eat?"

"Yeah. And I'd love to play a game... if you have COD Black Ops 3?" Louis asks and follows Harry to his door.

Harry grins, "uh, duh."

Louis walks to the kitchen with Harry and watches him going through cabinets. There's still people standing everywhere and the music is still blaring.

"Do your neighbors not care?" Louis asks, Harry looking back at him.

"Uh, the house closest to us is the only one that's lived in. But they're not home very often," Harry shrugs. "It's usually not a bother to anyone. I've never had the cops called, so."

"Oh," Louis nods and looks around again. "How much does a place like this run? I mean, it looks to be what, 8 bedrooms?"

"7," Harry states, "it has a fully done basement as well. We don't use it very much though."

"I wouldn't see why you'd need to," Louis jokes and takes a bag of chips from Harry. 

"Yeah, it's more than enough room," Harry says softly. "and... it's pretty pricey as well."

"Uh, I would think so," Louis nods, "why not just get something smaller?"

Harry shrugs and drinks down his water. "Uh, I will eventually. Right now, this works best for all of us. I guess."

Louis eats some of the chips before Harry's leading them back to the stairs. And for a second, Louis can even see Darren standing not too far away from Harry's room. He's in the middle of talking to 2 other people... but Louis just knows that he has seen them.

He can tell that Harry has seen him as well; but Harry doesn't acknowledge anything. He simply walks in his room and takes a seat on the sofa, picking up the controller.

"When's the first show?" Louis asks as he sits down by Harry.

"It's, uh, Saturday," Harry replies and looks at Louis. "Have you ever been to one of the plays here? Or anywhere?"

Louis laughs some, "uh, yeah I have. Not at this school yet, though. But in Doncaster."

"Ah," Harry nods as he's turning on his television. 

Louis watches him setting the game up as he hears Harry's phone ringing.

"Shit," Harry sighs and throws the controller down before walking to the bed. "Yeah..."

Louis picks up the other controller and pretends to look through the classes on the game.

"Yeah, I said that was great, Darren," Harry says quietly. "Look, 8 am is completely fine. If I'm not awake, call me. That simple."

Louis glances at Harry and then back to the tv.

"Ok, yeah. Alright. I'll see you, then," Harry states, "yeah, I know. Alright, bye."

Louis looks up at Harry as he's sitting back down. 

"Sorry."

"What? No, it's fine," Louis says quickly. "I'm sure my mum will call me before the night is over."

Harry grins at him before someone is knocking. "Yeah?"

"Hey, Harry," Niall starts before he sees Louis, "oh, hey again, Louis. What? I wanna play."

"What do you want?" Harry asks.

"Oh, Zayn needs you," Niall states before he's walking in.

Harry hands his controller to Niall and glances at Louis, "be right back, ok?"

"Sure," Louis nods and glances back at Niall.

"He probably doesn't want me using this class," Niall says and then laughs. "Oh, well, Styles."

Louis snorts as Harry's phone sounds in front of him. Niall is busy starting the match for them while Louis looks down and reads it. He knows he shouldn't... I mean, who even is Harry to him?

"'Want to meet me around 2 tonight, too? I've got a lot of shit coming in tonight. You could ride along if you'd like... sounds really intriguing to me, H.'"

Louis raises an eyebrow and glances up at Niall for a moment, then decides to push it out of his mind.

"Honestly, why does he even come to these?" Zayn is saying when he's walking in.

Louis glances over at him; Harry still hasn't returned.

"I thought Harry was talking to you," Niall states when he sees Zayn.

"No, we're finished," Zayn replies and glances at Louis, "can we give you a ride home?"

"He can stay," Harry's saying as he walks in.

"Why the fuck didn't he go home earlier? didn't you ask him to?" Zayn turns and asks Harry. "I mean, god damn, why is the fucking professor from uni here every time I turn around?"

"Well," Harry starts.

"Don't answer me," Zayn sighs, "Jesus. I know he tutors you and all, but damn, he's always here. I get fucking sick of seeing his face."

Louis bites his lip and looks back at the tv screen.

"I don't mind," Harry shrugs, "at least, not all the time..."

"I kinda do," Zayn groans while Harry's picking up his phone. Louis watches him reading the words... and he can see a small sigh escape Harry's lips. Louis can tell that he's not exactly excited to go anywhere.

"Uh, I can actually get a taxi. I don't wanna be in the way in the morning," Louis says quietly.

"What? No. I said you could stay," Harry says seriously. "Go ahead and play with Niall. I'll take a shower. I know you have homework to do as well, Lou."

Louis smirks and glances at Niall beside him. "is he this nice to everyone?"

"Oh, yeah," Niall smirks, "Harry has a way of making friends with literally everyone he knows."

"He seems very good at it," Louis nods and grins some.

"He's really friendly," Niall adds and grins at Louis, "I mean, there's a lot of great people at uni, but Harry has stood out to me for ages. He's just... he's a lot nicer than most people deserve. It's like... he goes above and beyond for nearly everyone... even the older people and the kids..."

""You'd think Harry was your brother the way you talk of him," Zayn shakes his head and sighs at Niall. "I've known him since he was 10. He can be nice... but he can also be an asshole."

Louis chuckles some and glances at Niall. "Hey, I'm sure we're all assholes though, right?"

"Zayn always is," Niall shrugs and looks back at the screen while Zayn only smirks at Louis.

"It is what it is," Zayn sighs and lights a cigarette before he's walking to the bathroom, "Harry, Jesus, the bathroom is foggy as shit..."

Louis can't help but smile as he's trying to play the game in front of him, instead of listening to Harry in the shower in the bathroom behind him.

"Open the window," Harry tells Zayn before he's sighing, "I'm sick of classes already."

"Well, yeah," Zayn is saying while Louis continues to listen. "Why'd he take over LankFord's class too?"

Louis closes his mouth, trying to concentrate on the game... though he knows he wants to listen to Harry.

"I honestly don't know," Harry replies, "I had no clue he was. I really didn't."

"Right," Zayn mumbles, "I figured that he would've told you..."

"He doesn't tell me everything anymore," Harry states, Louis closing his mouth and glancing at Niall. He wonders if Niall has heard them as well... but if he has, he seems used to it, Louis thinks.

"Really? He used to," Zayn almost snaps.

"Yeah, well, things change," Louis can hear Harry mumbling before the bathroom falls silent again. 

"Is he still taking you to Paris?" Louis can hear Zayn ask, and he can't control the look of shock that comes over his face. "I'm sure he has you sold on the fact that he's paying, right?"

"Uh, you wanna go have a cigarette?" Niall is soon asking Louis.

Louis bites his lip, knowing that Niall is most likely trying to spare the 2 of them this talk between Zayn and Harry.

"Uh, sure," Louis nods before his phone beeps. He follows Niall outside while he's heading Harry say that he hasn't made up his mind about Paris with Darren... and Louis is beginning to wonder what the hell he has stepped into.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

When Louis is finally waking the next morning, he sees he's in Harry's bed... and Harry's curls are a mess on his chest. 

Louis glances at Harry for a moment, his vision adjusting, and he's smiling a little as he's studying him sleeping so sound.

Louis starts to move gently, and Harry doesn't wake; he only sighs and stays asleep, Louis staring at his bare chest.

He can see multiple tattoos on Harry's upper body, but the butterfly on his stomach seems to really stick out to Louis.... as well as the 2 black swallows that he has on his upper chest.

"Class!" Louis hears Niall yelling in the hall. Louis starts cursing in his head as he's trying to get up and find his shoes.

"Harry Styles, get your ass up," Niall is soon shouting as he's knocking on Harry's door.

"I'll get him up," Louis says when he opens the bedroom door and sees Niall. "Thanks for screaming though."

"Sorry," Niall chuckles, "didn't realise you stayed in his room. Damn, Louis, do you move as fast as Harry does?"

"Uh, I passed out after my homework," Louis smirks at Niall. "I don't know when Harry fell asleep."

"Probably when he got back around 3 am," Niall mumbles and shakes his head. "I'm going to make coffee."

Louis nods and closes the door before he's glancing over at Harry again. He wonders if he should allow him to sleep in?

He finally gets his black and white Vans from beside Harry's bed and slips them on. He's then walking to Harry's bathroom, and after using the toilet he stops and looks at his hair in the mirror.

"You look like shit," Louis mumbles to himself while he's trying his best to fix several pieces of his hair. 

Though, he knows deep down that he doesn't really care how he looks right now; the night before with Harry is all his mind is on now. The way the 2 of them laughed together as if they had known one another much longer... Louis is sure that Harry's different, from everyone else here. And the amount of time they spent talking the night before only makes Louis believe that much more.

Louis takes his time, but he finally decides to grab his bag and books; as he does, however, he sees a term paper in the floor next to Harry's own books.

Louis bites his lip, reading the small Post-It note on the front: "thanks for coming tonight. See you today And tonight. Let me know if you wanna have lunch later . D Xx"

 

Louis closes his mouth and grabs his books, pretending he never saw it. Though, his curiosity begins to escalate.

Who is this D?

He glances at Harry again before he's heading out of his bedroom, his eyes still glancing over the interior of this huge estate.

"Louis, you want a ride?" Niall is calling as Louis is hurrying downstairs. 

"I would love one, yeah," Louis nods to Niall, "is there coffee?"

"Yeah, go grab some," Niall replies before he's opening the front door.

Louis yawns and puts his books inside his bag before he's slowly walking to Harry's kitchen, his eyes widening at how beautiful and spacious it is; he isn't sure he's ever seen a house as gorgeous as this one.

"Morning," Zayn is soon saying as he's coming in from the garage, "didn't realise you were up."

"Uh, yeah," Louis nods some, "I didn't wake Harry though... maybe I should..."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Zayn waves him off before sighing, "he has his alarm set, I'm sure. He'll probably miss his first class. That's what he gets for always going out at like 2 fucking am."

"Oh," Louis nods but looks confused. 

"Well, I've gotta head out," Zayn says before he's grinning at Louis, "was nice meeting you. Hope to see you here again soon."

"Yeah, nice meeting you," Louis grins a little.

He slowly makes coffee, his mind still wandering. He obviously knows he doesn't have a right to know Harry's business; and why should he even want to know?

Louis shakes his head and heads to Niall's car finally, Niall only smiling while he's turning down the stereo.

"Did you and Harry sleep well?" Niall asks with a smirk and then a wink. "I'm assuming you both did."

"Uh," Louis grins some and looks out the window, "I honestly did homework and fell asleep, mate . Weed has always made me want to think and study. I don't know... It makes me overthink..."

"Wow, that's just bloody weird," Niall says with a laugh, "I'm sorry. I know that... that must sound weird of me to ask you... if you slept with him, especially since you just met him... I mean, that has to sound horrid..."

"Uh," Louis chuckles, "it's not exactly flattering towards Harry, I don't suppose. Or myself..."

"No," Niall giggles, "yeah, makes him sound like a manwhore.... literally."

Louis almost snorts while Niall pulls up to the security guard. He waves to them while opening the steel gate.

"Ok, what the fuck," Louis begins before thinking, "I mean, Jesus. I don't think I've ever been to this part of England... it's beautiful. These estates are massive."

"They are, yeah," Niall nods and laughs. "My family doesn't live too far from here. At least when they're here."

"When they're here?" Louis asks.

"They still spend most of their time in Ireland," Niall states and shrugs. "But it's ok. I mean, I'm obviously old enough..."

"Yeah," Louis nods, "has to be rather shit though."

"Yeah," Niall nods. "Harry's family are still in Holmes Chapel. I mean, none of us see our families like we want."

"Yeah, but what uni student really does," Louis shrugs and looks out at the passing houses. He knows he's never been to this part of London... he also knows that these homes cost a fortune.

"It must be great having so much space," Louis begins, his eyes falling on Niall. "Dorm rooms are fucking horrid."

Niall chuckles, "yeah, I'm sure they are. I'm thankful we have our own space too. When we first moved in, we didn't know each other..."

"You and Harry?" Louis asks confused. 

Niall nods as he's watching the road. "He had just turned 18 because he took summer classes. But... he's literally taken classes every single season. He's not really slacked off either... but he doesn't take his work as serious as he used to, ya know? I suppose we all eventually lose focus and have to take time..."

Louis smirks some, "did you smoke Some this morning?"

"Oh, I might've," Niall replies and grins, "hey, I live with Harry... that's all he does."

"Really?" Louis asks with a small smile on his face. He's never been one for drugs... but marijuana is something Louis has always, always enjoyed. And to know that Harry seems to share the enthusiasm can only make Louis just a little more hopeful that maybe... just maybe this Harry Styles, this model, would actually be into him. 

Louis bites his lip and tries to wipe the smile from his eyes and regain his composure.

First class, Louis sits and tries his best to listen to professor Cordon, but his mind is now unclear due to the shared joint with Niall only 2 hours prior. And all Louis can seem to think about is Harry... though he can't place why.

His phone vibrates and he's removing it from his pocket before seeing a message from Harry on his Facebook messenger.

Louis fights the grin that's trying to overtake his face. He quickly unlocks his phone and reads what Harry has written.

"I hope you at least made it on time. And honestly, how the fuck did you fall asleep under me? Didn't my drunk ass give up first? I'm pretty sure your nose was still in a book before the liquor overtook me. H x"

Louis runs his tongue over his bottom lip, his mouth only wanting to laugh. Harry definitely has a way with words, Louis can say that. Louis can't help but see how much of an extrovert Harry really is. He seems very comfortable around people... even those he doesn't know.

After all, Louis knows Harry doesn't really know him; Harry thinks he does because of their own sisters knowing one another. But Louis doesn't remember too much about Harry from when they were younger. He only met him once.

So why is Harry already so comfortable with him, Louis begins to think as he's replying to Harry quickly. 

Harry doesn't take long to write back.

"Fair enough, I was way too gone. I apologize for that. I don't usually get that wasted. I'm sorry. I was shitty company and a horrible host considering it was my party. H x."

Louis smirks some and shakes his head, Niall glancing back from 2 rows down.

Louis quickly writes, "don't apologize for that. We're young. It happens. Besides, I was able to finish my work. So thanks for allowing me to stay."

Louis bites his lip wondering if he should've included the thanks. But soon, Harry puts his mind at ease.

"Allow me to make it up to you, yeah? Perhaps tonight, if you're not busy. H x"

Louis can feel his cheeks flushing as he's staring at Harry's text, questioning if this is really happening to him. 

Obviously Louis wants to see him, although to Louis, Harry doesn't have anything to make up for; Louis knows that Harry's presence alone is enough for him. 

He tries to clear his mind before he answers Harry, his fingers shaking some.

"I'm up for it."

"Great. I'm gonna text you my number, if that's ok."

Louis licks his lips and replies quickly to Harry, the smile reaching his eyes again.

When he's sitting down in the third class of the day, Louis unlocks his phone and checks to see if Harry has bothered to text again.

Louis last heard from him around 11, and he couldn't help but wonder if Harry would even make it to any of the classes. 

Louis sighs and glances up at professor Johnson, busy taking papers from his briefcase. Louis bites his lip, studying him some. He knows from Harry's profile that he and Darren are obviously friends. And of course, Louis wonders how... especially since the professor is much older than Harry.

Niall comes in and sits down a few rows down below Louis again. Louis doesn't pay him any mind. He only stares at his phone, letting out a deep sigh as he loses himself in thoughts of Harry... and long, rainy nights.

Right as professor Johnson begins to speak, the door creaks and Louis is looking up the stairs, his eyes falling on Harry finally.

His curls are flowing freely as his sunglasses sit over his eyes. He chews his gum slowly while he's walking in with his messenger bag; his eyes notice Louis finally, before also noticing the professor.

Harry grins a little at Mr Johnson before he's taking a seat next to Louis, Louis doing his best to not let his smile give him away.

"Harry, didn't we just discuss the class times," professor Johnson speaks up, Harry's eyes meeting his.

"Uh, yeah, but... I figured you'd understand because, honestly, I was on time, I just missed it by like 2 minutes," Harry shrugs and folds his arms. "Come on..."

"Can I have a word with you after class?" The professor asks, Harry sighing loudly as all eyes are on him.

Louis just pretends to stare at his paper, though he can't help but feel the overwhelming tension in the room. And he isn't even sure why it's there... maybe Harry's just a troublemaker? Maybe it's normal for professor Johnson to scold him? 

Moments pass and Louis is busy studying through notes while Harry's still chewing his gum, not exactly paying any attention now.

Harry looks over at Louis for a split second before he's sitting up some and grabbing his phone. He begins typing swiftly, his eyes shooting up at the professor every few seconds.

Louis' phone vibrates again, and he's immediately picking it up, seeing an iMessage from Harry.

"This is fucking boring, isn't it? I think I should've slept through his class as well x"

Louis tries not to snort as he's replying to Harry as quietly as possible.

"Honestly, I could've slept through them all. I'm used to having a lot more sleep."

Harry glances at Louis and grins some before he's typing again on the iPhone between his fingers.

Louis can't help but notice the many rings Harry's wearing, too. He can tell how much Harry admires jewelry.

But Louis wonders if the many rings on Harry's fingers have certain memories behind them; he isn't even sure why he's questioning it.

His phone vibrating in his hand brings Louis back to reality and he's quickly staring at Harry's message once more.

"You May not get much sleep tonight either. I mean, you'll be with me, yeah? X"

Louis smirks and glances at Harry who is only smiling back at him. He quickly replies...

"It'll be worth it. Do I need to bring my own smoke?" 

Louis hesitates for a moment, but then he finally hits send... and he can only sit with nervousness as he glances back at professor Johnson. 

But this time, Mr Johnson is already staring at him. Louis doesn't freak... he only pretends to be listening, though he's now wondering if Darren Johnson is watching him and Harry.

Harry even waits for Darren to begin talking again before he messages Louis, then places his phone in his pocket.

Louis studies him sitting back in his desk, his fingers fondling his brunette curls. How can Harry have such beautiful hair, Louis wonders. He wants to smirk when he thinks about Harry's hair being better than half of the female population's.

Louis finally reads Harry's words while he's trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I have plenty. Someone told me you liked your shit. I honestly look forward to experiencing that with you. And I'm not saying all of this because I'm like trying to pick you up... I'm just unbelievably honest about shit and I don't hold back. Sorry. X"

Louis glances at Harry before he even means to; and Harry only stares at the book in his hand now. 

Louis closes his mouth, watching Harry's fingers pushing his hair back over and over; to Louis it's mesmerizing to watch... it's completely satisfying.

When class is over, Niall is coming up the stairs while Harry stands up, not saying a word to Louis before he's walking down to talk to professor Johnson.

Louis bites his lip and smiles at Niall, "uh, do you have class with me next?"

"I do, yeah," Niall nods and yawns, "Jesus, we've gotta stop having fucking parties during the week honestly."

Louis smirks and glances at Harry, who doesn't look too enthused with Darren Johnson as he's talking to him. And Louis honestly doesn't want to stare... in fact, he almost feels like he's intruding by just looking at the two of them.

Why does he feel that way?

He picks up his backpack and walks out with Niall, his mind trying to clear.

"He needs to take classes more seriously," Niall shakes his head.

Louis sighs. "Does everyone do him that way?"

"No," Niall smirks, "no, uh, Darren is good friends with us, all of us. He just tries to keep Harry in line. Someone needs to."

"Oh," Louis states softly, "I... I didn't know that. Perhaps he should try to help him then."

"If Harry fucks up and receives below a C average, then he loses his drama and arts degree. He can't do that. And Darren won't let him. He told him a while ago that he would hold Harry accountable. So, he is trying to help."

"Ok," Louis nods, and looks around again, his mind still wandering.

"Hey, Niall," a young man is soon calling as he's walking over to them, "Louis, right? Harry told me about you."

"Yeah, hi," Louis manages to say as he's glancing at Niall. 

"Yeah, this is Liam Payne, he's the other roommate we have," Niall explains. 

"Your house is quite lovely," Louis mentions and smiles at Liam. "You guys have tons of fucking room."

"Harry has good taste," Liam shrugs and grins at Niall, "we going to the pub? I figured that Harry would still wanna go, even if he has to stay after class."

"I'm going," Niall replies, "Zayn will be there. He has people there to talk to. Louis, you should come, even if Harry can't."

"Uh, are you sure?" Louis asks with a small grin. "I mean, I'll probably have to study some."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Harry is saying behind them a few seconds later. Louis looks at him and sees how frustrated Harry seems. "You all didn't have to wait on me..."

"We're not in a hurry," Niall shrugs and glances at Louis, "uh, I'll catch you 2 later on. Have fun. Text me about the pub, Harry."

Louis gives him a curious look before Niall is walking off with Liam... and Harry's putting on his sunglasses before he's walking slowly, Louis beside him. 

"Guessing he's sorta strict?" Louis finally gets the courage to ask.

Harry glances at him for a second before he's shrugging and looking away, "yeah, he's.... he's most definitely that. I don't know... maybe he means well..."

"Maybe so," Louis states softly, though Harry's face tells him that he doesn't believe that. 

"Hey," Harry's saying quickly as his dimples show again, "would you wanna skip your last class?"

"Isn't your last class like one of your drama classes?" Louis asks Harry. "Or painting? Or even piano?"

"Not today," Harry replies with a quiet laugh, "so I don't really have much to do. Darren doesn't do classes today..."

"Why's that?" 

"Uh, well, he has a lot of other stuff that he's busy doing," Harry replies, though his eyes don't meet Louis'. "Teaching is literally like only a small part of what he does."

"What does he have to do on Thursdays then?" Louis asks with a small smirk. 

"A lot of the time, he's going somewhere to speak or attending meetings," Harry shrugs. "Uh, would you like to come with us tonight to the pub? It's not like, a huge place... but it's really nice."

"Uh, yeah," Louis grins, "I'd love to... and... I can skip this next class. It's fine."

"What about your grade?" Harry asks with a small smile. 

"It'll be fine," Louis waves him off, "uh, but can I run by my dorm room? Grab some things? I'd like to shower."

"Yeah, uh, I'll give you a ride over," Harry nods and points to the red sports car not too far away in the parking lot. 

Louis smiles and follows Harry to his car; and the entire ride Louis can only look at this car again, studying how clean it is, and how brand new it seems.

"This is an amazing car," Louis finally tells Harry, Harry grinning instantly. "You must make a good bit modelling."

Harry smirks some, "uh, I suppose that I do, yeah. Although, I haven't really bothered too much lately. I've had to focus on grades and shit. I... I can't seem to keep my head straight."

"I can tutor you," Louis offers before he bites his lip, Harry only smiling.

"Really?"

"Well, I mean, I'm really into most of the classes... and I'd love to help you," Louis shrugs. "If you need help, that is."

"I do... in some of it," Harry nods and pulls into Louis' parking lot of his dorm.

Louis takes out his key while Harry follows him up the stairs to the second floor.

They walk inside the room and Harry can't help but snort, "this place is depressing."

"Isn't it," Louis states sarcastically. 

Harry looks around at Louis' posters, "Doncaster Rovers. Wow, you're dedicated."

Louis smirks, "yeah, sort of."

"Hey, why don't you come stay with me... us tonight?" Harry suggests out of nowhere. He smiles at Louis, "sorry, just thought I'd offer. I mean, I have a guest room that isn't being used. And... it has to be really depressing being a roommate with Stan."

"Uh, he's... he's not that bad," Louis laughs some, "but... yeah, I'd love to stay, if you don't mind..."

"I wouldn't ask if I did mind," Harry says and smiles some. "Just.. grab some stuff. We can game or something, if you'd like. I wouldn't mind the company. And my showers are much nicer, I swear."

"Seems like you have enough company with Niall and the others," Louis laughs and starts throwing shirts into his bag.

Harry agrees while he's staring at the bulletin board over Stan's bed. "Wow. Shouldn't be surprised he included his own football photos."

"Do you lads know each other at all? I mean, Stan said he knew of you," Louis states while he sits his bag down on the bed.

Harry almost snorts, "uh, no. We're not friends by any means. I like him just fine... but some people make up their minds about me before I'm ever given a chance. It's not a bad thing really."

"That's horrid," Louis says quietly, Harry only smiling some.

"I'm not everyone's cup of tea," Harry shrugs and looks at the pictures again, "I'm sure you'll enjoy being on the team with him though. he likes football."

Louis nods some, "yeah, well, I'm not much into making friends with a football team."

"Really?" Harry asks surprised. "I figured that you would be."

Louis grins, "you think I'm a jock or something..."

"No," Harry laughs, "uh, maybe somewhat, but... you kinda seem edgy as well. You don't completely fit the jock image, ya know?"

Louis can't help but smile, "uh, yeah, I get it. And I suppose you're right, too."

Harry smiles some, "sorry, I just notice things. Anyways, you ready? Anything else you might need?"

Louis glances around before finally saying, "oh, shit, yeah. I forgot the... yeah..."

"I figured that you might've forgotten it," Harry's chuckling while he watches Louis pulling the bag of weed from under his mattress. "Clever hiding spot, that."

"It works," Louis shrugs and grins. "Uh, mine probably isn't as strong as yours but you're welcome to half of it."

Harry smiles instantly, his dimples deepening, and Louis' knees start weakening as he's staring at him.

"Thank you," Harry says softly, "you're really, really nice, Lou."

Louis smiles some, though he can feel his cheeks burning. But Harry doesn't embarrass him or push him to say anymore; he only opens Louis' dorm room and waits for him. 

And Louis is already sure that this curly headed lad, this mystery in front of him, has to be his missing piece... because everything about Harry just seems perfect to him.

"What made you want to transfer?" Harry asks while he and Louis are headed across town to his home again.

"Uh," Louis starts and sighs, "not sure. Just... wanted to see more. Experience it all before finally settling down, I guess?"

"Are you engaged or something?" Harry asks and almost smirks.

"Oh, what? Fuck no," Louis laughs immediately, "I didn't mean like that. I meant... well, my lifestyle. I meant growing up. I'm still young right now so mistakes are ok. I don't know anyone honestly. I haven't really dated anyone since like I was maybe 19."

"Not the dating type?" Harry asks curiously.

"No, I'm... I've always been a bit of a loner," Louis shrugs and stares at Harry, "I've had a few close friends."

"Well, same," Harry replies, "uh, I've known Zayn a long time though. Since I was really young,"

"Seems you'd have a boyfriend or girlfriend as well," Louis shares before he means to. He coughs some, Harry only grinning, "I just meant... you seem like someone who would have a special someone. You seem very caring."

"Uh, thanks," Harry laughs some, "I... I've had a few dates... but... I don't suppose you could say anything serious."

"Ah," Louis nods and gazes out the window again, his voice falling silent; he isn't sure what to talk to Harry about. He's wondering if maybe, just maybe Harry Styles likes him as well.... and Louis wonders what he is to do if Harry does feel the same way. 

When they arrive at Harry's, he's opening the garage door, Louis following him in. 

Harry's smiling instantly and glancing around, "someone finally cleaned. Fuck yes."

"Wow," Louis looks around and laughs, "uh, damn. You have a cleaning crew or something?"

"I do, yeah," Harry nods and opens the fridge to grab 2 beers. He tosses one to Louis and glances down at his phone, seeing a message. Harry's smile fades as he's placing the phone on the countertop and looking at Louis. "Uh, so, when's the last time you saw your mum?"

"Oh, umm," Louis starts slowly, his eyes glancing around the dining room. "I actually saw my mum a few weeks ago. I left Doncaster just about 2 weeks ago."

"Ah, ok," Harry nods and drinks the beer before pointing up the stairs, "uh, my shower... you can use it if you wanna shower. Should have everything you need. It also has like a Bluetooth speaker that you can use with your phone if you wanna. My bathroom is nicer than the others, so..."

"Oh, ok," Louis chuckles and shakes his head, "uh, yeah. I'll go take one. Thanks, Harry."

Harry nods and smiles some before he's lighting a joint and picking up his phone, Louis leaving him alone.

Louis' eyes widen as he stares into Harry's glass shower; he has never seen such a beautiful stone and glass shower. He wonders how the hell Harry affords this. Does he really make this much modelling, he wonders.

He showers slowly, finding himself looking over Harry's things; he has expensive herbal shampoo and conditioner, Louis isn't surprised by that. He sees avocado products as well... and not to mention some mesmerising smelling body wash. Louis could smell it on Harry when he fell asleep with him... and Louis wants to come just from the smell. 

He sighs and shakes his head as he washes and tries to push Harry far from his mind.

He can hear music start playing in Harry's room; he recognises the Script and he's closing his eyes, trying his best to hurry.

His favourite band is the Script. And now he wonders just how much Harry likes them, too. Were these two really this much alike?

Louis dries off and finds his skinny jeans and t-shirt; he puts them on quickly and brushes his fingers through his hair.

He grabs his Vans and heads out of the bathroom, his eyes searching for Harry.

He finally sees him standing right outside the balcony door; Louis walks out slowly and stares at him.

"You like the Script, yeah?"

"I do, yeah," Harry replies and smiles, "but, in my defence, I do like a lot of different bands. My favourites being The Rolling Stones and FleetWood Mac... So..."

"I like a lot of different ones," Louis nods, "I just thought that was wicked when I heard them playing. You seem to have a lot in common with me."

Harry's dimples show, and Louis can swear that he sees Harry blushing for a moment... a mere moment. Louis can't help but smile because he's literally making this beautiful boy blush... and there's nothing more wonderful than that.

"Maybe I do," Harry's saying quietly before he grins at Louis.

Louis nods, "well, maybe except football... we don't have that in common..."

"Obviously," Harry giggles some before grinning, "uh, I like American football. So, I do have the love for football in common with you... just not the same kind..."

"Oh, right. You must really be from the states," Louis jokes. 

Harry shakes his head, "nope. I was born in Holmes Chapel. I've been here my entire life."

"How the fuck do you get into American football then?" Louis asks as Harry only chuckles some. "I mean, I know they show it here obviously... but it's just not the same..."

"I don't know," Harry shrugs and smiles, "I just... I've always liked it. Can't help it. I'm sorry."

"Hey, we're all entitled to like what we like," Louis states and grins some, Harry's dimples showing some. 

Harry lights a joint and extends it to Louis, Louis only grinning and hitting it twice in a row.

Harry chuckles, "leave some for me, Jesus. Thought we were sharing here, Lou?"

Louis can't help but smile at the nickname Harry has given him; Louis has never been called that before... and somehow, he's thankful that it's Harry that's calling him that.

He extends the joint to Harry, "I can always roll another."

Harry smirks, "I like the sound of that."

Louis chuckles and glances around the back garden before seeing Harry's swimming pool below.

"Bloody hell." Louis sighs and smiles, "this place is gorgeous. How long have you lived here?"

"Uh, 2 years," Harry replies, "I was in a dorm for like... maybe the first 3 weeks or so?"

"You? A dorm?" Louis snorts.

"Right? Yeah, as you can tell, I'm not a dorm person... at all," Harry giggles. "We, uh, we were fortunate finding this. Uh... you should swim with us sometime. The pool has heat and it's fucking amazing. Oh... and the hot tub is fucking stellar."

"I'd imagine so," Louis laughs, "do you have pool lights?"

"Oh, god," Harry chuckles and hits the joint before giving it to Louis, "uh, I have too many, I think. That's one fixture I was sorta OCD over."

Louis chuckles and takes another hit before sighing some, "Stan hasn't said anything bad about you. I don't want you thinking that he did or something..."

"Oh, fuck, no, I didn't think that," Harry chuckles, "uh, we don't know each other very well. I haven't known him long; he's just not sure of me."

"Why?" Louis asks softly.

"I'm gay," Harry states and shrugs some, Louis only smirking. "Uh, Stan... he and I did shit at a party one night... and I mean, I didn't try to make a move on him. But... he did absolutely despise me the next day."

"Oh," Louis whispers some and tries to nod, "he had to protect his reputation, I assume?"

Harry shrugs and tries to smile, "he's a football player.... doesn't hurt my feelings. I've told you... I'm not everyone's cup of tea... but I also don't try to change me either, I guess. I am who I am."

Louis nods, "yeah, that seems very true."

Harry grins some at him before he's stretching and sighing, "uh, so, what would you like to do until we leave?"

"Uh, food would be amazing," Louis speaks up with a small smile. 

"Now that you mention it," Harry sighs, "yeah, I'll order ya something. Anything you want."

"Anything?" Louis asks with a small smirk. 

"There's a good bit of places that'll deliver to me," Harry replies and nods some. 

"That's... yeah, that'd be lovely," Louis smiles some.

Harry only grins and grabs his phone before he's walking downstairs, Louis close behind.

He sits at the bar listening to the rain beginning to fall outside; it looks like a normal winter day in London.

"Sounds amazing, doesn't it?" Harry states, after he's ordered their food. "The rain hitting the roof the way it is. I love the sound..."

"I do as well," Louis speaks up, biting his lip, "I'm... I'm like, in love with rainy nights and shit.... I'm quite strange..."

"That's not strange," Harry smiles, his dimples deepening more, "That's... that's cool. I'm the same way really. I do adore the rain. A lot."

Louis grins some and watches Harry grabbing beers from the fridge. He then, sits down on the bar beside Louis, his eyes on his phone.

"Did you get in a lot of trouble?" Louis questions, Harry looking up immediately. 

"With the professor?" Harry asks, "Darren?"

Louis nods some.

Harry smiles a little, "no. I didn't get in trouble. He just... he wants me to focus more. I've sort of been shit at it. I could use a tutor, no lie. He's helped me a few times, but... it's not the same..."

"I don't mind helping you," Louis shrugs and says quietly. "Any way I can."

Harry licks his lips, smirking some, "are you wanting me to trade sexual favours for tutoring lessons?"

Louis almost chokes as he's laughing, "shit, uh... no. I... I wasn't thinking that at all."

"What if I was thinking it?" Harry asks, Louis' eyes meeting his eyes. And Louis doesn't see a bit of embarrassment on Harry's face; Harry, in fact, looks relieved that he has been honest.

Harry's phone sounds again and he's sighing, sitting it down before he's hopping off the countertop.

"I'm going to use the loo, Lou," Harry whispers and smiles at his own pun.

Louis chuckles quietly  and watches Harry hurrying across the living room. Then, he hears Harry's phone again. He closes his mouth, reading it slowly.

"Meet me tonight or the deal is off, H. Don't be like this. Honestly, what is going on with you? Can't you make an exception for me? You always do. - D"

Louis sees the name of the contact, and he almost feels like his heart has been stabbed with a knife.... the text is from Darren Johnson, their professor.

Louis is somehow not too surprised; his suspicions about the professor and Harry would eventually be revealed... and Louis already could tell that something was there between Harry and Darren. But what exactly is there, Louis isn't completely sure.

Harry's 20. The professor is going on 40 something... Louis can't possibly see the connection between them. Too much separated them. There was nothing about them that made them alike.

Louis sighs and tries to push it out of his mind; he already feels guilty for reading Harry's message. And the phone keeps vibrating, making Louis want to look even more.

He finally sees Harry coming and he's biting his lip and drinking his beer.

"Need another?" Harry asks.

"I'm good," Louis smirks. "I'll wait."

Harry grins and picks up his phone. He sighs and starts texting Darren back slowly.

"Everything ok?" Louis asks, sensing Harry's mood change.

"Yeah, uh," Harry starts and forces a smile, "just... a fucking prick that won't leave me alone. I seem to attract the crazy ones."

"Uh," Louis chuckles, "I'm not crazy..."

Harry glances back at him and his dimples show, "uh, sorry... you're right. You're not. Maybe I didn't know you were attracted to me."

"Uh," Louis almost laughs, "how could I not be is the better question."

Harry smirks some, "Wow. I'm flattered, Louis. Thank you." 

"I... I obviously figured that someone like you got told that a lot," Louis states softly, Harry looking confused. "You seem like such a people person... you're a model... you're stunning..."

"Lou, I do local modelling," Harry almost laughs, "wanna go listen to music? Or game?"

"Both?" Louis suggests and smiles.

Harry agrees and they head upstairs together slowly, Louis asking questions about Harry's career.

Once music is playing lowly, Harry and Louis share a joint while they lie on the middle of the four poster dark wooden bed, both of their eyes staring up at the white veil and lights hanging over them.

Louis has to admit: Harry's room seems like such a safe haven... he isn't sure why; but the room is magical to him.

"I started when I was about 17," Harry states and looks at Louis next to him before staring back up at his lights. "Uh, I was already into drama... and I enjoyed being a different person."

"So, you weren't underage then?" Louis asks quietly.

Harry smirks, "uh, no. I was of age when I started. I don't do much, though really. You see me in Saint Laurent ads... and Gucci obviously..."

"Are you mainly Gucci?" Louis decides to ask. "I mean, that's amazing, if so..."

Harry grins and grabs his phone, pulling up photos from his last Gucci shoot... and Louis can't help but close his mouth and study the photos so closely; Harry's so stunning.

"Your hair is gorgeous," Louis manages to get out as he's staring at a cologne ad for Saint Laurent... with Harry Styles shirtless, and his beautiful hair in a bun with while flowers all over.

"Thanks," Harry smirks, "took ages to get it like that. I can't imagine having it that long again though. It's bad enough now."

Louis grins some and looks at another photo of Harry, but this time he's wearing a black suit with a hot pink blouse underneath... and he's sitting in a stunning limo.

"This is so 70s," Louis chuckles and glances at Harry. "Wow."

"Right?" Harry smiles, "yeah, but it's one of my favorites."

Louis laughs some and sighs, "these are amazing."

"It's been months since I've modeled," Harry says quietly and sits his phone down. "I've been so fucking busy trying to catch up at school."

"You don't have a contract with Gucci?" Louis asks.

Harry smiles some, "I do. But... I decide when to renew it. That was our agreement because they knew I was in school still. My first passion is to finish school for psychology."

"That's... that's amazing," Louis gets out, a grin escaping his lips. 

"Modeling is fun," Harry shrugs, "and yeah, it's great money. So are the many other things I like to do. I mean, drama could take me far... but I don't want to do that. I want to study psychology more. I want to help others... I want to know how someone's mind works."

Louis closes his mouth, unable to take his eyes off of Harry. 

Harry smiles some, "Sorry. Got carried away."

"It's fine," Louis chuckles, "I completely understand. I just didn't take you as a nerd, Harold."

Harry chuckles and looks at Louis, "uh, I'm... I'm not a nerd... I just... am fascinated with different things. That's all."

Louis nods and smiles, "I gotcha."

Harry grins some and licks his lips. "I'm sorry. Maybe I am nerdy."

"No," Louis smiles at Harry, "you're great. You're just... honest. It's awesome."

Harry shrugs, "it's probably a flaw. Not everyone I know likes that about me."

Louis looks confused, "it shouldn't be a flaw. That's an incredible quality to have, Harry. More people should be that way."

"Perhaps so," Harry nods and tries to smile.

"Geez... what kind of friends do you have?" Louis jokes with him.

Harry forces a smile and stares at the ceiling again. "I like you, Lou. You're beyond honest yourself. And... you seem to have a really fiery spirit."

Louis smiles some, "uh, thanks, I think. I don't know why you say that..."

"You aren't exactly big," Harry states before he's laughing some, "Sorry. Uh, and I'm guessing your height doesn't even phase you now. You've adapted... you carry yourself better... you have a great attitude about things..."

Louis smirks and bites his lip. 

"Maybe I've smoked too much," Harry states as Louis chuckles some. "Sorry. I like to read people though. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, love," Louis states before he's licking his lips and looking away again.

Harry's eyes however don't break from Louis' face; he studies him closely, before he's whispering, "can I ask you something?"

Louis glances back, meeting Harry's long gaze.

"Do you wanna kiss me?" Harry asks quietly, yet with full confidence.

Louis' breathing hitches for a moment before he's sighing and nodding, wondering if this is really happening. 

Harry nods, keeping eye contact with Louis, "I wanna kiss you, too. Can... can I?"

Louis almost grins, "you don't have to ask permission..."

Harry reaches over, his fingers softly touching Louis' cheek; and Louis only watches him intently.

Harry licks his lips as he's leaning in, his soft and plump lips meeting Louis'. 

And Louis can't even think in this moment; he only knows that Harry's lips are against his, and they're the most amazing things he's ever felt.

Harry scoots closer to Louis, his right hand cradling his face as he deepens their kiss, Louis almost panting under him.

Harry's lips move in slow, deep motion with Louis', and it's causing Louis' multiple problems.

Harry's crotch is soon against Louis' side and Louis can fully tell how turned on Harry is at the moment as well.

"Harry, you home, mate?" Niall is yelling up the stairs a few seconds later.

"Fuck," Harry almost screams before he's getting up as quick as possible.

Louis only fixes his pants and grabs his phone and the cigarettes lying on the bed.

"Are we going to the pub? Harry?" 

"In here," Harry finally calls for Niall, Louis only covering his mouth after he wipes his lips.

Niall smiles at the 2 of them, "Oh, hey. Didn't know where you went, Louis. Uh, what time you wanna leave, Harry?"

"I'm fine with the next few minutes," Harry shrugs, "heard the weather will be bad later... so maybe we should make it an early one."

Louis bites his lip and glances at Niall before hitting the cigarette.

Niall nods, "alright. I'm gonna change and I'll be downstairs in about 20."

Niall's quickly leaving the room, closing Harry's door behind himself.

Louis glances at Harry and sees him biting his lip as he's staring down at his hands.

"At a loss for words, Styles?" Louis speaks up with a smirk.

"Maybe, smart ass," Harry chuckles and winks at Louis before he's sighing and getting up. He opens his closet and begins looking through shirts.

While Louis, however, has his eyes on all of the clothes in Harry's closet.

"This is gigantic," Louis states as he's looking at the many boots that make up one side of Harry's walk in closet. "Holy hell. Do you have like, an obsession?"

"With clothes? Or boots?" Harry asks with a small grin. "Mainly just boots really. Half of this shit I don't think I've worn. I let Niall borrow them. Liam does, too, sometimes."

"Wow," Louis says softly, "it's just... nice."

"You can borrow whatever," Harry tells him as he's pulling out another button up shirt.

"I'm more into t-shirts," Louis laughs.

Harry points down the clothes line, "right there. Should be something you like. I'm a small, so you should be able to fit just fine."

"Oh, Ha," Louis states and grins as Harry only giggles.

Louis finds a white shirt with black skulls on it and he's quickly putting it on while Harry's looking at him.

"You have a tattoo there," Harry points to Louis' collarbone. "What does it say? Can I see it?"

Louis chuckles and raises the shirt again, allowing Harry to step over and look at the tattoo.

"'It is what it is,'" Harry reads before smiling, "I love that. I really do."

"Thanks," Louis smiles, "I like them, too. Just not as much as you do."

Harry shrugs and walks to the bathroom next, Louis walking behind him. 

Harry grabs his gel and looks at Louis, "Come here for a minute."

"Why?" Louis asks with a laugh as he's walking over to the countertop.

"I wanna try to fix some of your hair," Harry replies seriously, "I'm usually very good at this... and make up."

"No make up,” Louis states quickly, "no, thanks."

"I wasn't going to use make up,” Harry chuckles and shakes his head, "just... be still, ok?"

Louis nods and Harry begins working on the fringe that's in Louis' eyes. And Louis can't help but notice the height difference between them finally. He’s known this entire time that Harry's taller than him... but this is the closest Harry has been to him when standing. 

He notices Harry’s deep green eyes as well...  
And he has little specks of green inside. And Harry’s hair is so shiny and healthy, Louis thinks as Harry’s curls are freely falling to the side of his face.

Harry sticks his tongue between his teeth as he's molding Louis hair pieces. He smiles and looks at Louis.

"I think you'll like it," Harry states quietly.

And after just a few more minutes, Harry's grinning from ear to ear and pointing to the mirror.

"Check it out."

Louis looks in the mirror and he's smiling instantly when he sees how well Harry has fixed his hair. "Jesus. You're gifted, Harry, holy hell."

"My sister taught me a lot. She’s big into all of that shit," Harry shrugs and says with a small smile. "It looks stunning on you as well. I quite like it."

"I do, as well," Louis smiles and turns to him, "thanks so much."

"Welcome," Harry nods and grins, "it's... a lot of hairspray... just so you know..."

"Just means it'll stay for 2 days instead," Louis jokes as Harry giggles.

Harry slowly fixes just a few pieces, his eyes meeting Louis' again. "Uh, we have a few more minutes..."

Louis licks his lips, "what are you implying,  
Harold?"

Harry bites his lip as he's reaching forward, his hand gripping Louis through his skinny jeans. "Can I?"

"Are you asking my permission again?" Louis asks quietly, his voice shaky, "I'd be foolish to say no, Harry."

Harry nods some, his fingers slowly undoing Louis' button and then pulling down the zipper, his eyes refusing to break from his.

Harry leans in, kissing Louis with everything in him, Louis can tell that he isn't holding back at all.

Harry grips Louis' penis before he's pulling down his pants and then dropping to his knees to take Louis fully into his mouth.

"Oh my god," Louis mumbles out, his hand balancing on the counter behind him. His other hand grips Harry's curls as Harry's moving up and down on him so easily. Louis can tell that Harry is way too good at this.

Harry sucks Louis faster and faster, his eyes glancing up at Louis to see the ecstasy growing on his face. 

Harry finally goes down completely on Louis, his fingers fondling Louis' balls, and that's enough for Louis to come. He grips the back of Harry's head and mumbles out lowly. He wants to scream at the sensation Harry is giving him.

Harry swallows and looks up at Louis while he stands. He wipes his lip and grins some, "been a while, Tomlinson?"

"Uh," Louis snorts, "it has actually.”

"I wasn't your first, was I?" Harry asks quietly, his face more serious now.

"What? No, you weren't," Louis chuckles, "you weren't, Harry. It was... great obviously... uh..."

"Harry, Zayn is on his way!" Niall is soon knocking on the bedroom door and calling to them.

"Coming," Harry calls back, his face grinning, "well, one of us already did anyways..."

"Oh, shut it," Louis states and fixes his skinny jeans while Harry only does his hair again.

They pile into Harry’s sports car a few minutes later and they head to their usual pub in London; Louis can’t help but smile as Harry’s talking as he drives. He talks about how much of London he has seen and learned since moving here. 

They order a few shots at the pub, and then Harry’s on the dance floor, losing himself in the music.

And Louis, he can only sit and watch as he’s sipping his beer slowly.

“You like him,” Zayn speaks up, his eyes moving from Harry back to Louis.

Louis smiles some, “uh, well...”

“He likes you, too,” Zayn grins, “seems like you’ve had quite the impression on him already.”

“Have I?” Louis asks softy before he’s staring at Harry again.

“You seem like an amazing lad,” Zayn nods, “and I hope to god that you can make him happy. He deserves that.”

Louis closes his mouth as he sees the door open, and a familiar face walking over; Darren Johnson of course. Louis sighs and watches him sitting down next to Niall.

“I had to grade some papers,” he is explaining his reason for being late and Louis is already staring at him intently. 

“How do you like the university so far, Louis?” Darren speaks up.

“I love it, thanks,” Louis replies softly, his eyes looking at Harry on the dance floor.

“Seems you’ve made great friends,” Darren nods and drinks his ale.

“Yeah, uh, Harry’s been the most amazing to me so far,” Louis replies, watching Darren’s face change. 

Darren nods some. “You two seem close already. So, you met Harry in the lunch line one day and now he’s all that you can see.”

“Can I ask why you don’t like me?” Louis asks quickly, no hesitation in his voice.

“Because Darren’s in the same fucking line,” Zayn speaks up and coughs some before he gets up and walks off.

Harry’s hurrying over now, siting down by Louis and finishing off his ale.

“Should I order another?” Louis asks.

“No,” Harry replies, “I’m great. You’re already gonna have to drive me home, Lou.”

“Yeah, think you’ve had enough,” Louis smirks, his hand resting on Harry’s leg.

Harry licks his lips and starts to say something.

“Uh, you wanna go have a cigarette, Harry?” Darren is asking at once.

Harry closes his mouth, trading eye contact with Darren before he finally nods in agreement.

“I’ll be back,” Harry tells Louis before he’s getting up and walking outside with Darren.

Louis can’t help but stare at them; he wonders if maybe he’s drank too much, or smoked too much, but he knows right now he isn’t thinking clearly and the thoughts in his mind about Darren aren’t exactly good ones.

“Who is he?” Louis speaks up finally, Liam and Niall staring at him. “I know he’s our professor, but to Harry, who is he...”

“They go back a ways,” Niall shrugs and tells Louis, “I explained that. He’s... looking out for him.”

“How long have they known each other?” Louis finds himself asking.

“Since he moved here,” Niall explains, “he’s sorta Harry’s mentor now. He’s been one of his drama coaches and teachers since Harry started uni here.”

Louis nods some and licks his lips.

“You think there’s more,” Liam speaks up finally, Louis turning to him. “Between them.”

“Uh,” Louis chuckles and shrugs, “I honestly get a very weird vibe from him, not gonna lie. I just... wasn’t sure...”

“Harry doesn’t tell us anything,” Zayn speaks up next from beside Louis. He takes a seat and looks directly back at him, “we see it. I mean, we’re the closest people in his life...”

“Right...,” Louis states softly as he watches Zayn. 

“I don’t know... maybe you should talk to Harry about this,” Niall says next, his eyes cutting over to the front door.

Louis nods some, “not exactly something I’d like to bring up right now. I barely know him...”

“Well, he seems very fond of you,” Zayn says with a small smirk. “Perhaps he’ll confide in you.”

Niall nods, “it’s just one of those things where everyone else in the room can see it. Except them.”

Louis closes his mouth and sits speechless before he sees Harry coming.

He takes a seat next to Louis again, while Darren is sitting down and drinking his ale.

And Louis can feel the shift in the atmosphere upon their return... and he’s sure it’s obvious to everyone except maybe Darren.

“Uh, I think I should call it a night,” Louis finally speaks up, Harry glancing at him.

“Already?” 

“Yeah, well, I gotta study,” Louis tries to lie as he’s drinking the last of his ale. 

“You... always studying,” Harry shakes his head and smiles, “yeah, uh, we can go. After all, you’re driving.”

Louis smiles some as he’s getting up with Harry. Zayn is telling them goodbye before Darren is.

“I’ll call you in a bit,” he says to Harry, and the way he looks at Harry makes Louis’ skin crawl.

Louis pushes it out of his mind while Harry’s only nodding and throwing his arm around Louis’ shoulder.

“You think you can drive?” Harry smirks at him.

“Obviously,” Louis grins, “I’m not stupid... I don’t drive while drunk.”

“You shouldn’t. Horrid thing to do,” Harry agrees as he’s getting into the passenger seat. 

Louis only chuckles and climbs in the driver’s seat, his eyes glancing over the controls.

“Holy fuck,” he whispers.

Harry smirks and points to the start button, “it’s not complicated. It’s a fucking car, Lou.”

“Yeah, I know that, Styles,” Louis laughs, Harry only smiling and lighting a joint.

Louis starts the engine and listens to it for a moment. “Jesus fucking Christ, Harold. I want this fucking car.”

Harry chuckles, “uh, you can have it. I can get another...”

“What?” Louis asks, laughing, “this is expensive as shit. You can’t just give it to me...”

“Why?” Harry shrugs and grins, “it’s just a car.”

“You’re too fucking drunk,” Louis shakes his head, Harry almost cackling now, “trying to give away something so fucking expensive...”

“Oh, fucking hell,” Harry sighs and smiles, “forget I said that. Honestly. Wow.”

Louis grins and watches Harry hitting the joint as he’s driving slowly to a red light.

Harry offers it to Louis before he’s resting his head back against the seat.

“Not sure we should smoke it right here at the light,” Louis smirks.

“Oh, who gives a shit. Learn not to care so much, Lou,” Harry sighs, “you’re much better off.”

“Why?” Louis asks with a small smile. “How?”

“You don’t worry as much... shit doesn’t bother you,” Harry replies.

“Do you even feel?” Louis asks almost too seriously.

Harry glances back, “yeah... you can still feel. But certain things aren’t so trivial when you don’t care as much about people around you.”

“I suppose so,” Louis nods and whispers before he’s hitting the joint and giving it back to him.

“You probably think I’m weird,” Harry states quietly.

“No,” Louis says, “I think you’re honest. You have an incredible viewpoint on life. That’s all.”

Harry’s dimples show some as he’s looking out the window now at the falling rain.

When they return, Louis helps Harry out of the car and Harry only grins and tries to point to the right key.

“You’re so fucking wasted,” Louis shakes his head and laughs, “honestly. Give me the fucking keys.”

“Fine, daddy,” Harry says and hands over the keys before he’s smiling at Louis.

Louis chuckles and unlocks the garage door and lets Harry go in first.

“Why do you drink so much?”

“I don’t usually,” Harry states and smiles as he’s removing his Saint Laurent Chelsea boots and looking at Louis, “I’m sorry. I’ve... I’ve been stressed about school.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Louis smirks, “you just started, didn’t you?”

“No,” Harry almost laughs. “I wish. I did summer classes as well. Haven’t stopped much.”

“Jesus,” Louis states and follows Harry to the fridge. “Well, maybe you should spend more time taking care of your well-being. Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself about school.”

Harry grins some as he’s taking out a bottle of vodka. “I’m not exactly hard on myself. I don’t take enough breaks, I do agree.”

“You should,” Louis says, “you’re not drinking all of that, are you?”

Harry’s dimples show, “no. We are. What? It’s not too late yet.”

“I have to study...”

“Ok,” Harry shrugs and drinks some from the bottle, “I’ll go sit in the hot tub alone.”

“What?” Louis asks, looking at Harry.

Harry grins, “what? It’s a rainy night. It’d be nice.”

Louis licks his lips, knowing he’s already going to say yes to Harry. 

“Uh, I have some shorts if you want,” Harry states.

“Yeah, uh, sure. I’d love to join you,” Louis manages to get out, Harry only grinning at him. And perhaps Louis did make it too easy for him.

Once they’ve changed, Louis is sitting in the kitchen with the vodka and his phone waiting on Harry to grab towels.

Harry’s phone sounds and he’s running into the kitchen to grab it, Louis glancing over at him.

“Hey,” Harry states quietly, “uh, it’s only about to be midnight. It can wait until about 2, yeah. I’m sorry...”

Louis licks his lip and stares back at his phone, wondering if perhaps Darren is already calling Harry. 

Louis sees his profile on Facebook and he’s clicking on it while Harry’s only lighting a joint and continuing the conversation.

Louis sees photo after photo of Darren in business suits; then he sees vacation photos. He sees photos of Harry. And he once again wonders where Harry fits into this man’s life. Harry’s much too young for him.

Louis sees that Darren is also from Holmes Chapel, and his eyes are looking up at Harry at once. 

Louis begins to wonder if it’s possible Darren and Harry have known each Other longer since they’re both from the same small city. 

He knows he won’t ask Harry that... he doesn’t known him well enough. 

“ok, yeah. See you then,” Harry says and puts down his phone before sighing, “ready?”

“I am,” Louis nods and stands, following Harry outside.

And the closer they get to the hot tub, the more the outside lights come on.

Louis smiles some, “wow. They’re gorgeous.”

“Spent a fortune on them,” Harry replies and grins some. 

Louis watches while Harry’s turning on the hot tub; he sees the rain falling around the rooftops and he grins. “This seems relaxing.”

Harry looks back, “it’s amazing, yeah. It’s like my spa space. Haven’t finished it obviously.”

Louis nods and climbs in the hot tub beside Harry, Harry only smiling. 

He turns on the lights and then looks out at the falling rain. “Sounds great, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” Louis whispers, “sounds like heaven. I love the rain.”

“Oh, god, me too,” Harry sighs, “it’s such an escape.”

“Yeah,” Louis nods and says softly. “I’ve felt that way my entire life. I’m weird.”

“Not really,” Harry shrugs, “I like snow, too. Just doesn’t happen too much. I like going places where there’s snow. Like at least once a year.”

“What?” Louis almost laughs. “You do that every year?”

Harry nods and looks back, “I like to ski. So I pick a different place every year. It’s amazing.”

“How the fuck can you afford that?” Louis laughs, Harry’s face only staying serious. “Like different mountains?”

Harry nods and looks at Louis, “this year, it’s the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, which I should say is fucking amazing in itself.”

Louis chuckles and watches Harry lighting a joint and giving him a wink, “yeah, I’d agree.  
It’s all legal there.”

“You should go with us,” Harry states softly, Louis glancing back. “I mean, there’s not many of us, but it’s so much fun skiing.”

“I’ve been a handful of times,” Louis nods and smiles, “oddly enough, I enjoy it myself.”

“Should’ve known,” Harry grins at him and hits the joint between his fingers. “Would you wanna come?”

“Uh, who... who all goes?” Louis asks quietly.

Harry bites his lip, and Louis wonders if Harry has guessed he’d ask that question.

“Niall, Zayn, Liam, Darren, and whoever else we decide to bring,” Harry shrugs and finally meets Louis’ gaze. “It’s usually about 10-15 of us. And the cabins are quite large.”

Louis nods, swallowing hard, “I doubt I can pay for much...”

“I’m not asking you to,” Harry states seriously. “I’m inviting you.”

Louis studies Harry’s face a little before he’s smiling. “Ok, fine, yeah. I’ll go. When?”

“This March,” Harry replies, his eyes seeing Niall over at the doorway. “Yeah?”

“Uh, Darren’s outside. He said he has something of yours, I don’t know,” Niall shrugs and glances at Louis.

Louis sighs some, though he doesn’t let Harry hear him. Harry only rolls his eyes and gets out slowly while he’s placing a towel around himself.

“I’ll be back,” Harry tells Louis.

Louis nods. 

Harry disappears inside and Louis drinks some of the vodka before he’s hitting the joint between his fingers again.

He looks around this open spaced hot tub, he sees the lights’ reflecting on the waters; he wonders how the hell Harry could be this fortunate. He seems to have everything. 

A few minutes pass and Louis sees Niall coming outside to join him. 

“Bloody hell, the rain is a bit cold,” Niall says and smiles at Louis. “Oh, don’t worry, Harry’s coming back. He got caught up talking.”

“Oh,” Louis says softly and nods, “with Darren, I’m assuming?”

Niall nods only a little as he’s lighting a cigarette and offering Louis one.

Louis sighs, “couldn’t have whatever he wanted waited till tomorrow?”

Niall smirks, “yeah, I’m sure it could’ve. But Darren is Darren. He does this shit. He thinks this is normal, I guess?” 

“Uh, guess maybe it is normal,” Louis stutters, “for them.”

Niall shrugs and hits the cigarette. “He likes you, Lou. He does. Don’t worry. He’ll get his head straight, I swear.”

Louis glances at Niall, and he only wonders if maybe he will be right.

Zayn is soon joining them in the hot tub, and the 3 of them get higher than a kite before Harry’s joining them again.

“How very dare you,” Harry says to Zayn, “how could you smoke it without me?”

Zayn shrugs and grins, “got tired of waiting on you. Jesus, I would’ve told him to fuck off.”

Harry sighs and climbs in beside Louis, Louis only glancing back at him. Harry’s dimples show before he’s scooting closer to Louis and taking the cigarette between his lips.

“I apologize. Again.”

“It’s... it’s ok,” Louis says softly, his eyes studying Harry’s eyes, wondering if he’s really ok. “You wanna get some sleep?”

“What? No,” Harry grins, “uh, I’m good. I’d rather hang out with you lads a bit longer.”

Zayn gives Harry a second glance and Harry only smiles some before he’s drinking the vodka again.

Louis stays silent and hits his cigarette; thankfully, Niall breaks the silence and starts talking about football again.

Harry doesn’t seem too thrilled with the topic and Louis can tell. Harry’s only staring at his phone.

Louis can see a message from Darren pop up and Harry only sighs and rubs his eyes.

“I’ll be back,” Harry says and starts climbing out of the hot tub, Louis’ eyes on him. 

“Now what?” Zayn mumbles and shakes his head.

“Darren texted him,” Louis replies, Zayn looking back. “I don’t know... he got out after that.”

Zayn nods, “figures. Probably wants Harry to call him or something. I wouldn’t doubt it.”

Louis closes his mouth and stays quiet now, his mind wandering.

And about half an hour later, Louis is getting out of the hot tub with Niall and Zayn.

He wraps a towel around himself and heads to Harry’s room first, wondering if he’s alright.

“Harry,” Louis calls as he’s opening the cracked bedroom door.

He sees a small lamp on across from Harry’s huge bed, and he can see the figure of Harry on the bed. 

Louis steps closer, seeing Harry sound asleep, his curls a mess; Louis notices he’s wearing nothing but his boxers before he’s looking away and sighing. 

Louis takes off his shoes and sits down on the bed, Harry moving some.

Louis bites his lip.

“Hey, are you staying?” Harry asks immediately. 

Louis’ eye’s meet Harry’s. “Uh, if you want me to...”

“Please,” Harry almost pleads, Louis falling silent. 

Louis finally nods and takes off his jeans, then he’s climbing in the bed with Harry. 

Harry’s instantly lying against him, his bare chest lying against Louis’ side. Louis sighs in contentment, his fingers softly caressing Harry’s back now.

And Harry doesn’t say a word as Louis is holding him; he only closes his eyes, losing himself in a feeling that he hasn’t known in so long.

Why is Louis so different to him? What makes Louis so special, Harry wonders. And how exactly does he commit himself to Louis when he can’t possibly give away his heart. That’s not something he can do right now... but suddenly, it’s all Harry wants to do.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Louis is soon waking once again in Harry's bed... and he can feel Harry's bare skin against himself again.

 

He smells Harry's curls and he can't help but sigh in contentment; he's already too caught up in this boy, and yet, Louis doesn't give one damn either.

 

His phone sounds beside him and Louis sighs immediately as he's wiggling out from under Harry to stop the alarm. He glances back at Harry and sees he is still out cold; Louis also notices that Harry's completely naked now. Louis is sure that he had on underwear when they fell asleep.

 

Louis pushes the thought out of his mind, puts on a pair of Harry's sweatpants, and then heads downstairs to make himself coffee and hopefully cure this hangover.

 

He isn't sure whether or not he wants to attend his first lecture; his mind is only on Harry upstairs. Would it hurt if he stayed with him all day? What would happen between them, Louis can only wonder.

 

"Morning again," Zayn speaks up at once.

 

"Morning," Louis frowns, "fucking shit. Feels like a damn Monday."

 

"Need a ride? I think Niall's already gone," Zayn states.

 

"Uh, no... I think I'm gonna skip class this morning. Stay with Harry," Louis shrugs some.

 

"He's a bad influence on you already," Zayn laughs as he's pouring juice, "is he back?"

 

"Back?" Louis asks confused. "He's asleep right now. I wasn't aware that he left?"

 

"Oh, Sorry, I had assumed he went out earlier this morning, around like 3," Zayn states quietly. "I thought you knew he was going. He said he had to go see someone..."

 

Louis swallows and nods, "yeah... 'someone'..."

 

Zayn only gives him a sympathetic look before he's picking up a small bag and saying, "see you later, yeah?"

 

"Yep," Louis tells him before he's sighing and finishing his coffee.

 

He begins to wonder if he should even bother staying with Harry now; after all, he most likely will sleep all day, Louis thinks, given that he was out half the night.

 

He battles with the thoughts of going to uni over and over as he's walking upstairs... and then he sees Harry awake in bed when he opens the bedroom door... and all reasoning leaves Louis again.

 

Harry glances at him and smirks some, "you're still here. What... are you moving in?"

 

Louis chuckles, "uh, I drove you here. And you asked me to stay."

 

Harry bites his lip and looks back at his phone, "I know. I was really gone again. I'm sorry."

 

"Harry," Louis says with a grin, "Jesus. Don't keep apologizing for drinking. You know I don't mind. I'm honestly one of the least judgmental people you'll ever meet."

 

Harry grins some and nods, "you seem that way. That's refreshing to find these days."

 

"I grew up with judgmental dickheads," Louis groans, making Harry laugh some. "That's not how me mum taught me though."

 

"Exactly," Harry whispers and agrees.

 

Louis rubs his head and sighs, "do you have anything for a fucking headache?"

 

Harry smirks some and gets up slowly, Louis catching a look at his naked, tan body as he does. He doesn't want to stare, at all, but he can't quite help himself in this moment.

 

Harry finally sees him and grins some, "what? You scared to look?"

 

"Uh, no," Louis stutters as Harry's picking up his Calvin Klein pink underwear.

 

"Lou," Harry laughs, "I was just in bed with you nude.Come on..."

 

"I didn't look," Louis states softly, Harry only snickering. "Sorry... I suppose you're used to most people looking?"

 

Harry bites his lip, his eyes studying Louis before he's grinning again, "I'm not conceited, asshole."

 

"I didn't say you were," Louis chuckles, "oh, fuck my head hurts."

 

Harry goes to his nightstand, pulling out a small green box. He opens it and grabs a pre-rolled joint.

 

"Here," Harry states, handing it to Louis, "I swear by it."

 

"Weed?" Louis smirks.

 

"Hangovers are honestly no chance," Harry replies, "honestly. Just... trust me."

 

Louis nods and grins before he's walking to the balcony, Harry close behind.

 

Louis chuckles after he's lit the joint, "you're out here in your undies."

 

Harry looks down at himself and shrugs, "it's not too cold. And besides, this is me. This is who I am. I'm honestly very comfortable in my own skin. I'm not ashamed to show it off really."

 

Louis hits the joint again, his eyes studying Harry. "Wish I could be like that."

 

Harry grins some, "Maybe I can teach you to be. I view my body as a gift. But I mean, learning to love yourself is hard, I know. I've struggled to before..."

 

"Why?" Louis asks softly.

 

Harry shrugs. "I'm not sure. I still battle with it sometimes even now. Umm... what made you decide to get that tattoo on your chest? Any specific thing?"

 

"Oh, I don't think it was one specific thing," Louis sighs. "It was, uh, to remember school. Certain things at school."

 

Harry nods, "football?"

 

Louis bites his lip and looks away.

 

Harry's face turns serious, "I'm sorry I said anything."

 

"No, it's not a bad thing," Louis sighs, "I just....

Wanted to play for a huge school. I didn't get that chance."

 

"What's wrong with London?" Harry grins some.

 

Louis chuckles and shrugs, "hey, it all happens for a reason."

 

Harry nods, "I used to be upset about spending more time modeling. But... my psychology degree means a lot."

 

Louis nods a little, "I understand."

 

Harry smiles some, "how's your head?"

 

Louis grins, offering the joint to Harry, "it's.... loads better actually."

 

"I told you I swore by it," Harry grins at him and hits the joint. "So, your dream was to become a big football player, yeah?"

 

"It... yeah, I guess it was," Louis shrugs and almost blushes, "I absolutely adore David Beckham and... yeah, I think that would've been an amazing career to have."

 

Harry nods a little," he's very nice looking."

 

Louis almost snorts, Harry only raising his hands and shrugging.

 

"What? He is," Harry defends his answer, Louis only snickering now, "he has an amazing smile. And... really good form... yeah, working out has done him well."

 

"Wow," Louis chuckles and shakes his head before he's hitting the joint again.

 

Harry's dimples only grow as he's watching Louis. He pushes his hair back and says softly, "come on, you can't tell me you haven't thought the same about him."

 

"Uh," Louis only giggles and rubs his lip, "I might've thought it a time or two, yeah."

 

Harry's grin grows, "you're not into girls at all, are you?"

 

Louis looks back, his checks almost blushing at Harry's bluntness. "Uh, well... Wow..."

 

"You don't have to tell me... if you don't want to," Harry says softly, his eyes almost beaming at how much he's made Louis blush. He's too pleased with himself now. "But... if it helps, Lou, I'm completely gay. So, there ya go."

 

"Jesus," Louis says trying not to giggle, "uh, no, don't suppose I am into girls really. I've had about 2 girlfriends... or girls I'd call girlfriends."

 

"I kinda figured," Harry nods smiling. "I've had one, but.., she was honestly more of a friend."

 

"Wow... but I'm sure girls really like you and are into you," Louis is saying before he even realizes the words are coming out of his mouth. "No offence, but... you just have that sorta face. Personality. Seems girls would really fancy you."

 

Harry smirks, "uh, yeah, I guess they do? I haven't ever really noticed."

 

"You haven't?" Louis asks and grins some, hitting the joint between his fingers, "do you notice when lads notice you and fancy you? I mean, I'm sure there's loads of those as well..."

 

Harry closes his mouth, his lips curling into a grin at Louis' sheer bluntness; he's already thinking that Louis would be a good match for a mental game of chess.

 

"I notice when certain guys take a notice in me and fancy me," Harry states quietly, his dimples only deepening some. "Yeah. I am gay after all."

 

Louis licks his lips and tries his best to nod; he could've already guessed that about Harry, just from the way Harry behaves.

 

"I'm not surprised by that answer," Louis finally says before he's smirking at Harry.

 

"Why? Do you think I'm some sort of whore?" Harry decides to ask boldly before he's hitting the joint and grinning at Louis.

 

And for a moment, Louis finds it hard to get over how incredibly handsome Harry looks in this moment. He wonders if Harry is even aware of how beautiful he really is.

 

"I... no, I don't think that at all," Louis replies finally, "honestly, you do seem like someone who just gets along with everyone though."

 

"I do, for the most part," Harry nods and smiles before he gives the joint to Louis and pushes his hair back slowly. He studies Louis for a moment.

 

Louis only stares off, even though he knows Harry is watching him almost intently. He isn't sure how to react to this beautiful boy's presence, much less his gaze...

 

And Louis can only wonder if Harry can tell how much he fancies him? Can Harry see what Louis feels for him? Is he that obvious to Harry?

 

"Did everyone at your school know about you?" Harry asks softly, "in high school..."

 

Louis bites his lip and smiles, thankful for the change of subject, "I only told like 4 people. No one else knew... wasn't their business really. I think they all sort of guessed. I kept to myself for the most part."

 

"I get it," Harry says, "yeah, don't blame you there."

 

"And you?"

 

"Oh, uh, everyone sort of knew," Harry shrugs and smiles, "I was... very open about it. I didn't hide it. I just... was always myself. I suppose I've always been a bit much for some people."

 

"I don't see how you possibly could be," Louis almost snorts and gives Harry a wink.

 

"I know you're being a smart ass, right?" Harry asks with a grin.

 

Louis shrugs and smiles, "Maybe."

 

"Your tattoo though... I thought maybe you had struggled with something," Harry mentions, his eyes meeting Louis'. "I wondered if that's why you got it... because it would be fitting."

 

Louis doesn't look away. He only licks his lips some, "I... I wouldn't say I've ever struggled with much in my life... maybe who I am. I did have to finally accept that."

 

"What made you struggle with it?" Harry asks quietly, "was it just... being different, in general? The fact that you were gay?"

 

Louis licks his lips and nods, "yeah. I, uh, tried to be normal. I had a girlfriend at one point... and... yeah, you know, I really did give it a shot with her. I admired her. I really did. We were... brilliant together. But... I didn't feel anything for her, you know? And... it wasn't fair to her..."

 

Harry pushes his hair back and smiles some, "you seem like you genuinely cared for her though."

 

"I did," Louis glances back, "but... there was always something missing. She just... wasn't it."

 

Harry manages to nod some, "makes sense."

 

"What about you?" Louis asks softly, his eyes watching Harry.

 

Harry grins some and shrugs, "uh, I've never really went out with a girl, per say. It's just never been my thing."

 

"I see," Louis says and smiles some. "I can actually believe that, honestly. Yet, you seem so charismatic with everyone, even girls."

 

"Uh, most girls like me," Harry shrugs and grins, "not... like that. I meant... they get along with me. I actually have spa dates with a few of them and shit like that... Gemma's friends adore me..."

 

"Your sister," Louis nods.

 

"Yeah," Harry says, "I get along with everyone. I guess that's a bad thing. And some people try to label people like me because we don't make sense..."

 

"Well, I can't get along with everyone," Louis is joking, causing Harry to smile some. "I admire you for that. Some people I'd love to slap the shit out of."

 

"Yeah, well, it is what it is," Harry's saying in the most charming way as he's pushing his hair back again and flashing Louis that gorgeous smile. "Wanna go for a ride?"

 

"To where?" Louis chuckles.

 

"Does it matter?" Harry's grinning and giving him a wink before he's heading inside, Louis following behind. "You can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like."

 

"Uh, I'd love to," Louis replies as Harry's turning on the bathroom light and starting the shower. "Are you hungry?"

 

"Are you?" Harry glances back at Louis.

 

"I could definitely eat," Louis smirks, "know any good places?"

 

"Do I know any good places," Harry only snickers and flashes Louis that beautiful smile again, "I've been to a lot of the small diners and restaurants here in London. Some of them are quite amazing, yeah. Find yourself some clothes. I won't be long."

 

"Alright," Louis almost whispers while Harry's turning his back to Louis and pulling his underwear down slowly.

 

And for a mere second before Harry's disappearing in the shower, Louis can finally make out the small tattoo that sits on Harry's right ass cheek; a single letter written in cursive, a small heart coming off the end of the curve.

 

Louis can only swallow the lump in his throat when he realises what letter it is. Why does Harry have a cursive capital D on his ass of all places? Louis tries to push the thought out of his mind as he sees Harry washing his hair behind the glass door.

 

Only one person's face pops into Louis' mind when he thinks of the letter D... and that person is Darren Johnson.

 

"Uh, so after we eat, then what?" Louis speaks up again and tries to clear his mind.

 

"Class," Harry calls.

 

"You're going to go?" Louis asks and almost smirks.

 

"Yeah, to be honest, I need to go to at least the other 2," Harry's saying before he rinses his hair.

 

"Alright, well, hurry your tall ass up, curly, I'm fucking hungry," Louis is demanding as he lights a cigarette and takes a seat on Harry's countertop.

 

"Have you always been so sassy, Lou?" Harry is asking with a laugh.

 

"Yeah, actually," Louis replies and fixes pieces of his fringe in the mirror, "has gotten me in trouble loads of times with my mum and my professors."

 

"I could see that," Harry states with a laugh, "but I think it's adorable. You're like this tiny fire ball of just... energy."

 

"What? Are you calling me short, curly?" Louis is asking loudly with a small grin.

 

"What? No," Harry is giggling, "I said tiny, not short. You're just.. delicate..."

 

"That's worse than being called short," Louis states quickly, "I'm honestly offended, Styles.."

 

"Ok, sorry," Harry's laughing, "Jesus, don't crucify me over it..."

 

"Jesus knows I'm 5'9," Louis is stating loudly, Harry almost bursting out in laughter. "which isn't exactly fucking tiny."

 

"Wow," Harry's chuckling, "oh my god, you're too much."

 

"What is up with that laugh?" Louis is asking Harry with a wide grin. "Honestly, where did you get that laugh from?"

 

"Uh, I don't really know," Harry's giggling a little quieter, "it's just who I am, I guess? Haven't really laughed like that in a long time... you're quite comical, Tomlinson..."

 

"Well, your laugh is quite hysterical, Styles," Louis is saying with a small chuckle as the shower water is shutting off.

 

He watches Harry stepping out and grabbing the yellow towel beside him; and for a moment, Louis can't find the strength to move.

 

He doesn't want to stare at Harry... but yet, it's all he can do. Harry is unbelievably fit, he thinks... and the countless tattoos he has over his chest, stomach, thighs. Louis is finding it hard to even think at the moment given that Harry is completely naked only 10 feet from him.

 

Harry finally notices Louis' gaze and his dimples only show again, "you can look, I don't mind."

 

Louis' eyes finally meet Harry's, "I didn't think you would."

 

Harry shrugs and grins some before he's running his fingers through his curls slowly; and Louis wonders if Harry is aware that he's watching him?

 

Does Harry know that Louis is watching his every move? Has Harry caught on to how much Louis wants him? He's sure that he's plenty readable to Harry right now.

 

Louis finally goes to find a shirt from Harry's closet while Harry's drying off.

 

He throws on a white t-shirt with nothing but the words, "Not Heartbroken" on the upper pocket. He smiles some and looks himself over in the mirror, wondering how Harry would look in this.

 

"I could really use some coffee," Harry's groaning while he's searching through long sleeved shirts beside Louis now.

 

Louis sees Harry's turquoise Calvin Klein underwear and he can't help but snort, Harry noticing.

 

"Don't like the colour?" Harry asks with a laugh.

 

"Uh, actually," Louis grins, "it's quite fitting for you. Really."

 

"Thanks," Harry smiles as he's pulling a white button up off of its hanger.

 

Louis closes his mouth, his teeth running over his lip slowly while he watches Harry putting his arms through the sleeves. He hopes that Harry doesn't notice how intrigued he is by watching him.

 

Harry makes the smallest tasks look even more enjoyable. He watches as Harry is buttoning every single button slowly, his eyes glancing off somewhere... and Louis wonders what he's thinking now.

 

Harry picks up his skinny jeans next, his eyes noticing Louis. "Umm... do you wanna borrow some shoes?"

 

"I think my foot is bigger than yours," Louis smirks as Harry's trying to fix his underwear underneath the jeans. Louis notices the cursive letter again on Harry's cheek before he looks up. "How many tattoos do you have?"

 

Harry loses his train of thought for a moment, his eyes only searching Louis' face, wondering why Louis is even asking.

 

"I have 54 so far," Harry answers simply, Louis looking shocked. "What? Is that a lot?"

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Louis chuckles, "oh my god, of course that's a fucking lot..."

 

"Well, I have a friend who does them," Harry shrugs, "he does them for free... and plus, a lot of them are really small..."

 

"Like the one on your ass," Louis points and smiles at Harry.

 

Harry grins and nods some, "yeah, I have a lot of really small ones. Not many of them are big. I guess I do love them more than most people..."

 

"Yeah... not many lads have tats on their asses like that," Louis states, "but... you really do pull off the look, Styles, and I admire that."

 

Harry tries to smile, "thanks, I think. Uh, is there something in particular you want for breakfast?"

 

"No," Louis says softly as he's trying to slip on his Vans. He watches Harry slipping on his dark brown YSL boots and he tries to hide the smile. "I really just want coffee... maybe a scone..."

 

"You seem like a scone person," Harry laughs before he's picking up his phone and wallet. He sighs and picks up his coat next. "I think it's more like brunch now, yeah?"

 

"Close," Louis is chuckling as he looks at his phone. "It's nearly 10:30..."

 

"Yeah, I've gotta text Darren... make sure he knows I'm coming to class," Harry is stating before he's opening his bedroom door and glancing at Louis. "Hey, would you look in that green box over there... grab a joint for me..."

 

Louis sees Harry's box lying on top of the nightstand; he opens it and finds different pre-rolled joints, as well as 2 different bottles of pills.

 

He holds one bottle up and glances at Harry, Harry only looking back, "it's Valium, Lou."

 

Louis reads the label slowly before tossing the bottles back.

 

"The other... it's just a sleeping pill," Harry whispers, "uh, I'm not... I try to stay away from heavier drugs, if you know what I mean. A lot of the time it's a slippery slope for me... and I just do better staying away from them..."

 

"I understand, Harry, you don't have to explain," Louis is quickly speaking up, hoping that Harry isn't embarrassed by confessing what he has.

 

Louis knows when he first met Harry, he didn't expect Harry to be very open with anyone. But now, Louis sees that's open is all Harry Styles can be... and Louis is having a hard time swallowing this pill.

 

"I haven't... ever really told anyone that," Harry states quietly, his eyes searching Louis',"Sorry... just didn't want you to get the wrong idea about me when it comes to shit like that..."

 

Louis nods and whispers, "you don't have to explain yourself, love. We all have demons, yeah?"

 

Harry bites his lip and nods before a grin returns to his face and he's pulling the car keys from his coat pocket, "would you like to drive her this morning? I assume you drove just fine last night... I don't remember all that much of it..."

 

"It went great... might've hit a cat with the front bumper," Louis jokes as Harry's throwing him the keys.

 

"How dare you," Harry retorts with a snicker before he and Louis head downstairs to the garage.

 

Harry climbs in the passenger seat of his red Ferrari and he watches Louis staring over the steering wheel as he starts the engine.

 

"She's just a car," Harry states and pats Louis' knee, "come on."

 

"She's not just a car," Louis chuckles as Harry's pressing the garage button. "Harry, you don't see these fucking cars in London..."

 

"That's a lie," Harry sighs, "I've seen some..."

 

"Besides your own?" Louis looks at him and asks with a smirk. "This... it's just beautiful. You have the perfect color red as well... like candy apple red..."

 

"You like the color?" Harry asks softly, his eyes watching Louis driving out of the driveway slowly. "I second guessed it..."

 

"Why's that?" Louis asks with a grin as he's slowing down when they approach the security gate.

 

"I think blue is prettier than red on these cars... but the red is gorgeous as well," Harry explains before he's waving at the guard, "morning, Terrance."

 

"Morning, Styles," the guard is smiling at them and opening the gate, Harry telling him to have a good day.

 

"I can see why you'd want extra security as well," Louis brings up a few seconds later, "there's a lot of fucking idiots in London... trying to steal sports cars..."

 

Harry looks back at him and smiles some, "the security's nice, yeah. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person there though. I mean, the other houses aren't full yet.... and... it's just so wide open, ya know..."

 

"Is it not weird... being so damn young and living here?" Louis asks, "I see a lot of older people around here."

 

"It's not weird," Harry states lowly, "I tend to get along better with older people than younger people."

 

Louis bites his lip, his mind only going in one direction with Harry's comment.

 

"Obviously I don't think that when it comes to you Though," Harry speaks up and smiles at Louis, "you're not exactly immature either."

 

"Neither are you, surprisingly," Louis says with a small chuckle. "You come off as immature, but you're not... far from it..."

 

"Are you complimenting me, Tomlinson?" Harry quickly asks as he's giving Louis a small wink.

 

"I think I am," Louis shrugs and almost laughs, "yeah. You're very mature for your age."

 

"Well, Thank you very much," Harry whispers before his dimples deepen, "I can still be quite immature sometimes..."

 

"You're 20," Louis chuckles as he's watching Harry light a joint, "I suppose you're still young, Harry. You don't have to know it all yet, ya know?"

 

"Yeah," Harry nods, his green eyes studying Louis' face closely. He wishes he could figure out what it is about Louis that makes him feel the way he does.

 

They have breakfast in a small pub in the heart of downtown London, and Louis teases Harry the entire time about how healthy he eats.

 

Though, deep down, Louis is quite surprised at how well Harry eats; he knows that Harry seems to be very conscious of his health and the way he looks; and Louis can't help but wonder if maybe Harry isn't as free as he wishes he were.

 

Louis doesn't ask much about Harry's diet, however; he will await and address that at another time. Instead, they both only joke about university and how horrid certain professors are... and Louis definitely agrees with Harry on one of those professors.

 

They finally make it to their 2nd and 3rd classes; they walk in their 3rd about 10 minutes after it's started. Niall as well as others are glancing up at them as they enter the lecture room. Harry doesn't even seem phased by the looks he is getting.

 

Louis, on the other hand, is wishing he wouldn't have helped Harry smoke all of that joint sitting in his car a moment ago.

 

"Glad you could join us," Darren is soon speaking up, his eyes meeting Harry's.

 

"I told you we'd be late," Harry's speaking up at once, his voice confident. Louis, however, only bites his lip and sits down in a desk a few rows behind Niall. Harry takes a desk beside Louis and smiles up at Darren, "Sorry about that. Really. But at least I let you know, sir."

 

Darren only stares at Harry for a moment, then he's going back to what he was explaining before Harry and Louis interrupted the class.

 

Harry shakes his head and rolls his eyes while he's grabbing his book and opening it, Louis doing the same.

 

"Like he doesn't talk about the same shit every day," Harry's whispering in Louis' ear now, Louis only snorting and keeping his eyes on his paper.

 

Harry only grins and slouches down in his desk, using his pen to draw on a scrap of paper.

 

Louis bites his lip, his eyes glancing up at Darren who is explaining something on the board. Harry isn't paying attention to any of this. And Louis can't even be surprised by that.

 

To Louis, he only gets the feeling that Harry despises Darren... and that their friendship or relationship isn't possibly a good one at all.

 

To Louis, he can only sense a level of toxicity between Darren and Harry... and he even wonders why others haven't ever noticed it.

 

Louis catches Stan staring up at them from the corner of his eye, and he tries not to grin.

 

Harry's noticed him too and he's smiling and waving at Stan like he's his best friend... and Louis can't contain his laugh. He tries to cough some and he drinks some of his coffee before Darren is staring up at two of them; Louis is sure that the professor has heard him.

 

Harry, however, is only chewing his gum and jotting away with his pen, a small smile on his lips.

 

Darren goes back to talking, and Louis is stealing glances at Harry again, wondering if Harry even knows how truly perfect he is.

 

Louis can see so much of himself inside of Harry; he wonders if Harry can see how much they're alike as well.

 

He continues taking notes while Darren is still explaining god knows what, Louis isn't sure. He sees Harry putting down his pen and glancing back at Louis.

 

He places a small piece of notepad paper on Louis' desk, then he's sitting back and pulling his heavy coat tighter, his eyes finally looking in Darren's direction again.

 

Louis licks his lips as he's picking up the note, reading Harry's penmanship...

 

"Circles are meant to be broken. Patterns are meant to be changed. You walked in. You broke the circle. You changed the pattern.  - H S"

 

Louis swallows hard, his eyes glancing at Harry beside him. But Harry only keeps his eyes on the book in front of him.

 

When the class is over, Louis is standing up, placing Harry's small note in his coat pocket. He smiles a little as he sees Niall approaching.

 

"Hey, you lads made it," he's saying before chuckling, "Harry, mate, you need sleep."

 

"No fucking shit," Harry mumbles and grins at Louis again, "so, Tomlinson, what shall we do now?"

 

"Uh, is it up to me?" Louis is asking with a smile as Harry's throwing his arm around Louis' shoulder.

 

"Well, what would you like to do before we go to the club again?” Harry is asking as they’re walking outside with Niall.

 

“Hey, I’m bringing Mel to the pub tonight,” Niall says.

 

“Perfect. Louis should meet her,” Harry’s agreeing as he grins at Louis. “You’ll Love Niall’s girlfriend. She’s really great.”

 

“Harry only likes her because she’s so great with his hair,” Niall is teasing. “Oh, and make up jobs.”

 

The 3 of them are laughing before someone is saying Harry’s name not too far away.

 

Louis sees Darren close to the parking lot, and he can see the smile on Harry’s face disappearing immediately.

 

“You guys go ahead. I’ll be there in a second,” Harry tries to smile as he’s giving Louis his keys.

 

Louis only watches Harry walking slowly over to Darren, looking as if he is wishing he could be anywhere else but here.

 

Louis follows Niall to Harry’s car and Niall does his best to make conversation... but Louis is still only focused on one thing. And that’s watching Harry and Darren talking in front of the university building to their right.

 

“Who is he, Niall?” Louis is finally speaking up, Niall turning to him at once. “Who is he to Harry?”

 

“He’s... well, he’s his professor and his friend,” Niall says again. “Someone needs to hold Harry accountable for school...”

 

“What is he to Harry, Horan?” Louis speaks up again, his voice serious as he’s looking at Niall. “The truth.”

 

“I... I honestly don’t know what he is to him,” Niall finally replies, his voice low. “He’s just... always been around since I’ve known Harry. I know he tries to help him with uni, and drama...”

 

“How old is he?” Louis is asking at once. “Harry’s 20... so how fucking old is Darren?”

 

“He’s 46,” Niall finally confesses, Louis shaking his head. “Look, we’re all friends with Darren, so... I mean, I don’t like it any more than you, Louis, but I also can’t tell Harry who he can fuck and who he can’t fuck. Harry’s gonna do what he wants... he’ll see who he wants. I do wish he’d make better decisions though.”

 

“Why the fuck,” Louis starts before he’s sighing and looking away. He lights a cigarette quickly, his mind racing.

 

“Harry’s schooling means a fucking lot to him,” Niall finally says, his eyes meeting Louis’, “but it also means a lot to Darren. So, Harry goes to great lengths to keep his grades up sometimes... Darren is usually the one who tutors him.”

 

Louis licks his lips and nods, “tutors him. Yeah. Something tells me Darren gives him good grades for other reasons...”

 

“No,” Niall starts, Louis looking at him, “Darren writes his discussions, Louis. He writes the papers for Harry most of the time. Just... don’t tell him I told you please...”

 

“No, I won’t,” Louis whispers some as he’s staring at Harry and Darren still, “I kinda figured that he helped him with them... I saw Harry’s paper from Darren the other day...”

 

“Harry’s incredibly smart,” Niall says softly, “and he really doesn’t need to have all the help. He could do it. But then again, modelling does take a lot of time from him. Not to mention the shows for university.”

 

Louis stays quiet now as he hits the cigarette between his fingers, his mind running wild.

 

Harry’s finally making his way over to them a few seconds later and he’s grinning, “alright, shall we go get wasted or something now? Honestly, that was so fucking boring.”

 

Louis smiles some and hops in the car while Niall is telling Harry something.

 

“Ed said he had the right equipment for the party,” Louis hears him say as Harry’s climbing in the driver’s seat. “He’ll have it at the house by 4 tomorrow.”

 

“Fantastic. He’s the best DJ we could have,” Harry tells Niall before he’s waving goodbye.

 

“Party, eh?” Louis is asking Harry with a smirk as Harry’s heading back to his home.

 

“Yeah, well,” Harry shrugs, “a lot of people like to use the house for a party... honestly, most of them I don’t bother attending anymore.”

 

“That’s rather sad,” Louis chuckles, “it’s your house.”

 

“Eh,” Harry shrugs and smiles, “so, how about some Starbucks before we go back and change, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Louis chuckles and shakes his head as Harry is leaving the parking lot. “I’m here for the ride, Styles.”

 

The 2 of them spend most of the afternoon goofing off before they’re meeting up with the others at the club in downtown London.

 

Louis is a little surprised at how crowded it is tonight as he’s taking a table with Liam and Zayn. Harry’s already hurrying off for the dance floor and Louis can’t help but laugh at him.

 

Zayn and Louis order a few rounds and sit laughing together before Louis is seeing a familiar face coming over to them.

 

Of course Darren Johnson is here, Louis thinks as he’s sighing and looking for Harry on the dance floor.

 

“Hey, lads,” Darren says at once.

 

“Hey, Darren,” Zayn speaks up, “how’d meetings go yesterday?”

 

“Oh, lovely,” Darren nods and smiles before he’s drinking down the shot in his hand. He looks at Louis next. “Either of you seen Harry?”

 

Louis’ eyes don’t break from Darren’s at all; and Louis finds himself wondering if Darren’s stare is intentional.

 

“I haven’t in the past few moments,” Louis finally answers quietly, though his blue eyes haven’t moved. “Why?”

 

“Oh, well, I told him I was coming,” Darren shrugs and sits back some, his eyes glancing to the dance floor now. “had to discuss some things with him.”

 

Louis only tries to nod as he’s pretending to be on his phone now.

 

Zayn tries to make small talk as Harry’s finally coming over, a small smile on his lips.

 

He picks up the ale by Louis and drinks it quickly, then looks at Darren. “Care to buy me another?”

 

“Sure, why not,” Darren shrugs and shakes his head, “I hope to god you’re going to study tomorrow at some point.”

 

“Oh, god,” Harry groans, “let me be 20 for one fucking night, please. Thanks.”

 

Louis licks his lips and tries not to smile as he’s glancing at Darren; he’s only met with a cold stare from the 46 year old.

 

Harry drinks down the second ale and heads to the dance floor again, Niall and his girlfriend not too far from him.

 

And Louis can’t help but sit and watch Harry... the way his body moves under the changing lights...

 

“So, what is it about him?” Darren is finally speaking up, causing Louis to snap out of his thoughts. “What’s so appealing about him, Louis?”

 

Louis gives Darren a stern look, “I don’t think that’s any of your fucking business, professor.”

 

Zayn almost snorts before he’s covering his mouth and chuckling softly. Louis only drinks his beer, his eyes not breaking from Darren’s.

 

“It was merely a question,” Darren says, “I’ve noticed how much of a liking he has taken to you... I was only curious...”

 

“Why is it any of your business?” Louis speaks up again, Zayn’s eyes widening some. “Are you his guardian or something?”

 

Louis shakes his head and gets up, his mind already set on going one place: to

Harry on the dance floor. And when he sees Harry, he’s instantly throwing his arms around his waist and dancing closely to him.

 

Harry only grins at him before he’s pressing his body into Louis’, a soft moan escaping his lips.

 

Suddenly, all the angry thoughts Louis had against Darren are disappearing and being replaced by thoughts of Harry’s soft, bare skin touching Louis’ fingertips.

 

Harry leans over, whispering in Louis’ ear, “I wanna touch you.”

 

Louis closes his mouth, his eyes meeting Harry’s quickly; he’s a little surprised by Harry’s bluntness again... but at the same time, this is exactly what he wants... this beautiful boy to want him in return.

 

Harry takes Louis’ hand in his, and Louis completely agrees to follow Harry to the restroom; Louis even looks for Darren, wondering if he has seen them leave.

 

He doesn’t think more about it after Harry’s pulled him into the bathroom and locked the door.

 

“It’s only one stall...,” Louis starts.

 

“No one’s gonna care,” Harry states, pushing Louis back against the wall. Harry’s lips are meeting the side of Louis’ neck and Louis can’t help but close his eyes and moan out loud.

 

“Fucking Christ,” Louis stutters out as Harry’s fingers are undoing his jeans quickly.

 

Harry’s eyes meet Louis, “do you like me?”

 

“Of fucking course I like you,” Louis sighs, Harry’s hand making its way inside his jeans. “Oh my god.”

 

“I like you, too,” Harry whispers, and Louis can tell Harry’s doing his best to read him.

 

Harry’s lips meet Louis’ again as Harry’s hand is slowly stroking Louis; and Louis can do nothing but be complete clay in Harry’s hands.

 

Harry’s slowly dropping to his knees again, his plump lips taking Louis into his mouth quickly. He moans out as he’s sucking him and Louis wants to come just from hearing him.

 

“You taste amazing,” Harry whispers, Louis’ eyes meeting his. Harry only grins some before he’s sucking Louis again. And Louis can do nothing but pull the curls on the boy in front of him.

 

Louis can’t last at all; Harry is way too much for him, and Louis is sure that Harry’s aware of that.

 

Harry only moans more the second Louis is coming into his mouth. Louis is positive that he has never felt anything like this.

 

Harry takes every drop of Louis before he’s grinning some.

 

Someone is knocking loudly as soon as Louis is trying to catch his breath.

 

“Shit,” He sighs and tries to fix his jeans.

 

Harry fixes his hair and shirt before he’s cracking open the door. His smile fades. “Yeah...”

 

“A word... now, please,” Louis hears Darren saying lowly. Louis sighs and hopes that maybe Harry will tell him to fuck off for once.

 

But, to Louis’ dismay, Harry only opens the door and tries to smile at Louis, “I’ll be back...”

 

Louis wants to say something, but he can’t.

 

He watches them heading outside and Darren even gives him a small, devious grin before he’s leaving with Harry.

 

Louis can feel so much anger burning all over him. He decides to follow them. Because somehow, he just needs to see it for himself, he thinks.

 

Why can’t Darren just stay away from Harry? Why is he always there?

 

Louis hurries to the table, picking up his coat and hat as Liam and Zayn are watching him. He doesn’t pay them any mind; he only continues outside, following Harry and Darren to the parking lot.

 

Louis has to know at this point; he has to know exactly who this monster is and what he is doing with Harry.

 

Harry’s Ferrari isn’t too many rows away now... and Louis stops for a moment, trying to see if maybe Harry and Darren are inside.

 

Louis gets close enough to see their outlines inside, and Louis can make out Harry sitting in the driver’s seat... and Louis doesn’t even have to use his imagination to know what Darren is currently doing to Harry in the front seat.

 

Louis knows that he needed to see this, but yet, his stomach almost can’t handle it.

 

“Hey,” Zayn is speaking up from behind him. Louis jumps when he hears him. “Sorry, mate. Didn’t meant to startle ya.”

 

Louis walks a few more feet away, trying to steady his breathing. “I don’t fucking get it, Malik.”

 

“Look, I don’t either,” Zayn sighs and says, his tone serious, “Johnson’s fucking weird... Louis, I get how this looks...”

 

“It looks pretty fucking terrible,” Louis glances back immediately, “Malik, Harry barely looks of age, mate...”

 

“Well, he is,” Zayn replies quickly and loudly. “Look, it’s not my business, Tommo... but... I don’t like the man either. He’s not right for Harry either... but Harry makes his own choices...”

 

“Can you give me a ride back?” Louis changes the subject, taking the joint Zayn is offering him. “Maybe I should go to my dorm...”

 

“No,” Zayn is quickly saying, Louis looking back, “please don’t. Look, I know you’d probably rather be there than at Harry’s place now, but... I really think he needs you, Louis. So, I’m gonna ask you to stay.”

 

“What makes you think he needs me?” Louis manages to ask, his voice much quieter now.

 

Zayn sighs out his hit, his eyes staring off at Harry’s car, “because... Harry’s almost to his breaking point, I think... and he needs someone like you to lean on when he does break... if you know what I mean...”

 

Louis starts to ask something, but suddenly, he can’t remember. He can only question if whether Zayn is right about Harry.

 

“I’ll ask Niall to give you a ride back to our place,” Zayn states, “I... I should really drive Harry back... something tells me that he’ll try to drive that car if you’re gone...”

 

“Yeah, I’ll ask Horan,” Louis nods and starts walking off before he’s turning back, “Zayn, Harry’s fortunate to have you as a friend, mate.”

 

Zayn manages to smile some and give Louis a nod before Louis is heading back inside the club.

 

His mind continues to race; so many thoughts go through his mind on the ride back. And every single thought is filled with Harry Styles.

 

Louis can’t even seem to get the thought of him out of his mind when he’s undressing in Harry’s room just a few minutes later. He lights one of Harry’s joints and sighs, wondering what the fuck Harry could ever see in professor Johnson.

 

Louis wants to be angry; he wants to go back to his dorm... and leave Harry here to be happy with his affair he seems to be having with the fucking drama professor.

 

But, yet, Louis knows without a doubt in his mind that he won’t leave; he can’t now. Harry means too much to him... he’s become like his best friend in such a short period of time. How can Louis possibly walk away from him?

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sensitive subjects//Rape etc***

Louis is stepping out of the shower in Harry's bathroom when he hears Harry's bedroom door slamming.

He takes a deep breath, knowing that Harry is already back from the pub; he glances at his phone and sees that it's only 11 pm... and he wonders when exactly Harry noticed that he was gone. He's only been back maybe 40 minutes.

Louis quickly dresses and opens the door, his eyes seeing Harry on the edge of his bed, his eyes staring at the floor.

Louis can tell that Harry has no idea he's even here. So, he clears his throat, causing Harry to glance at him.

"Hey."

"Hey," Louis whispers, "Sorry, I was taking a shower. I'll... be downstairs if you need me..."

"You don't have to go," Harry is telling him, his voice low. "I don't mind if you stay... I mean, I'd get why you wouldn't want to. Zayn told me that you left upset..."

"It's my own fault really. I couldn't stay there... and I'm sorry," Louis is apologizing at once, Harry falling silent. "Harry, I... I followed the 2 of you to your car... and I really wish I wouldn't have... I really do apologize for that. I just... want to understand this so badly..."

"You followed us?" Harry's asking quietly, "Niall only texted and told me that you were upset over something and was going back to your dorm... he didn't say anything about that..."

"It was fucking stupid of me," Louis sighs, "but... I... just wanted to know why Darren... is so attached to you... I don't understand why he's so... dedicated to you..."

"Lou, I'd... I'd love to tell you," Harry whispers, "but... it would take me forever... and... you'd hate me for it."

Louis stares at Harry for a moment, seeing how red Harry's eyes are now; and he can only wonder how much Harry has cried since he last saw him... and he wonders how many drugs Harry's had.

"How high are you?" Louis manages to ask, though his voice trembles when he does. He knows this isn't how Harry normally is... and he can only wonder if maybe Harry's struggling with how he's feeling for him now.

Harry shrugs, "high enough. That's all that fucking matters."

Louis nods, "you're not high on just weed, Harry. And... I'm not saying anything about what you're on... just that... you should remember who you have to be tomorrow. You have so much ahead of you... and it's more important than anything holding you back... or anyone holding you back..."

Harry's face falls serious for a moment before he's grinning again, "Simplicity looked really good on you, Lou. Maybe it's time you go back to it. You should really focus on your studies, after all. I don’t wanna hinder you...”

“Harry...”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Harry whispers and gets up, walking to the bathroom and closing the door.

Louis bites his lip, unable to find the words to say to Harry now; he sighs and walks out, finding the empty guest room down the hall.

Louis can only wonder if maybe Harry wants to push him away; could Harry be scared of him? Of falling in love with him? To Louis though, it still hurts.

He doesn't say a word to Liam or Zayn when they arrive home really late. Louis only stays on the guest bed, the bedroom door wide open. He keeps the balcony doors open as well, letting the sound of rain pour into the room.

He sets his alarm and finally falls asleep around 2. But at close to 3 am, Louis is hearing bedroom doors closing.

He doesn't open his eyes; he assumes Niall has come home from Melissa's. Louis sighs and tries to fall back asleep, wishing he would've closed his own door.

He sighs and gets up, rolling his eyes while he's picking up his cigarettes. He sits on the side of the bed, closest to the balcony... he wants to sleep so badly but yet, he can't seem to quieten his loud mind long enough to sleep.

He hears voices carrying outside, and Louis is almost sure that they're coming from Harry's room not too far from him.

He walks out and leans against the stone edge and he sees into Harry's beautiful room, his white curtains blowing with the wind since the glass doors are wide open.

Louis' eyes widen when he sees Darren sitting on the side of Harry's bed now though. He realizes that it wasn't Niall coming home a minute ago... it was only Darren welcoming himself inside the home at 3 AM.

Suddenly, all of the rage Louis has for this professor is beginning to resurface. He wants to go over to Harry's room and say something... yet, Louis knows he doesn't have any right to say anything. Isn't this what Harry wants?

He hits his cigarette as he sees Darren's lips moving. He wishes he could make out the words they're saying, even though he knows he has no right to listen to them.

Louis sees Harry finally looking at Darren and saying something, and for a moment, Louis can tell that whatever Harry has said has definitely pissed Darren off. He begins to wonder if Harry is just really good at pissing him off.

He sees Harry lying down again, but Darren's not in a hurry to leave. And Louis can only bite his lip and wish he didn't have to see this part. He doesn't want to see Darren start to undress, and make moves on Harry slowly... and Louis can even tell that this isn't what Harry wants at all.

Yet, Harry doesn't really fight Darren... and Louis begins to wonder if Harry even consents to this anymore... that thought alone sends chills not just down Louis' spine, but throughout his entire core. He only hopes that what he sees isn't what he feels that it is. Surely Darren isn't that heartless?

He's grabbing his iPhone by him quickly, and he's dialing Harry's number as fast as possible, hoping Harry's ringer is on. He finds himself wiping a tear from his own eye, aware now that he's crying for Harry.

He can see Darren getting up, Harry's phone grabbing their attention. He sees that Harry's picking up his iPhone off the nightstand before his eyes are glancing outside the open balcony doors... and Louis knows his name must've shown on the caller ID.

Louis bites his lip and hopes that Harry hasn't seen him sitting here... as if this isn't awkward enough to the both of them. 

But somehow, Louis knows that he couldn't just allow Darren to use Harry like that either. It wasn't fair to Harry. He clearly didn't want the professor tonight.

Louis ends the call and throws the phone in his pocket, his eyes watching Darren dressing now. Louis' anxiety levels rise as he begins to wonder if he did the right thing.

Harry seems to be trying to explain something to Darren now, and Louis is sure that Harry's selling it well. After all, Louis knows that he'd believe whatever Harry told him... and that thought scares Louis the most.

Louis finds himself unable to move as he's watching Darren leave; he hears his car start a few moments later, and Louis sighs.

But then he sees Harry again... and Harry even looks to be upset. Louis doesn't want to stare but... he can tell that Harry is tired and his emotions are running thin now. He can see that all over him.

Louis finds the strength to stand up when he sees Harry standing up. He watches Harry putting on his underwear again, and then his eyes are meeting Louis' across the way.

"You can come over here if you'd like," He's calling to Louis.

Louis nods, not being surprised that Harry has seen him here. How else could he explain calling him as well? Harry has to know that Louis saw the 2 of them... Louis is sure of that. He did call Harry at the most convenient time.

Louis closes Harry's bedroom door after he's walked in, and then he's joining Harry on the balcony by the bed.

Harry tries to smile at him, "I'm not as high as I look, I swear..."

"No," Louis is starting, "I didn't even think that, Harry. At all."

"I thought you had left," Harry states slowly, sitting down next to the wall as he's lighting a cigarette. "Gone back to simplicity."

"Does that even exist?" Louis asks softly as he's taking a seat next to Harry.

"Not in my life," Harry smirks, "but hey, you know..."

"I don't really know anyone with a simple life," Louis shrugs, "Besides me mum and sister maybe."

"Yeah," Harry's whispering, "uh, I... I just want to say that I apologize... for what I said to you... for everything that happened tonight... I know that a lot of shit went wrong..."

"It's not a big deal, Harold," Louis whispers and smiles at him, "uh, I just... wanna stay. If that's alright. I like hanging out with you. I don't know what's going on... and I won't pretend that I do know. I don't..."

Harry bites his lip and tries to nod as he's pushing his messy hair back.

"But... I also will not allow the man to take advantage of you when you're vulnerable," Louis is soon whispering, Harry glancing back at him and clearly not expecting to hear that. "Harry, no one says you have to give in to him..."

"Lou, don't worry about that part, alright," Harry is saying quickly as he tries to laugh it off. "It's been a fucking bad night... he knew that I was pissed and that didn't help..."

"Harry, I'm sorry, but the look on your face told me that you didn't want him," Louis is saying over Harry, "Alright? And I... I just couldn't not do something... I really care about you... and I wanna understand this shit..."

"My life is so fucking complicated, Lou," Harry's loudly saying, "you.. you wouldn't get it at all, even if I tried..."

"I fucking love complicated," Louis says seriously. "Now, please. Be honest with me. Who are you? And who exactly is Darren Johnson to you? Because the way you behave... you'd think that he owns your ass..."

Harry bites his lip and Louis is almost eating his words after he has said them. His face turns serious when he glares back at Harry.

"Your tattoo," Louis is saying, "the D on your ass..."

"It wasn't my idea," Harry's saying softly as he's looking away. "I just, went along with it. It was only a joke that Darren came up with..."

"You'd call Darren owning your ass a joke, Harry?" Louis is asking in almost a harsh tone, "yeah, really sick joke, considering that's how he acts... and treats you... who the fuck knows why..."

"Lou, he doesn't try to own me at all," Harry's quickly stating.

"Don't defend him, please," Louis replies, his voice over Harry's, "please... after... what I just saw... please do not defend the fucking cunt..."

"I wasn't trying to," Harry's sighing, "look, can we just forget it... please."

Louis licks his lip, "please tell me the truth, Harry. Who is he?"

"He's a psychology professor," Harry begins explaining, his eyes fixated on the ring his twirling on his index finger. "He has also been my drama professor since I was 15. He's a fucking psychopath who won't let me go, Lou.... and I've given up on trying to get rid of him. He's followed me here from Holmes Chapel to be near me. And no matter what I do, I can't get through to him that... that I want this to end."

Louis watches Harry sighing out loud and he wonders if it feels good for Harry to get that off of his chest finally; Louis is sure that Harry hasn't even realized how fucked up his relationship with Darren is until now.

"He's... been around since you were 15?" Louis asks, his tone falling quiet.

"Yeah," Harry replies, "I started drama classes pretty young."

"Why do you keep him around?" Louis decides to ask, Harry glaring back. "I mean, isn't that the reason he doesn't go away? You all are friends with him..."

"Yeah," Harry nods, "friends... sure. You ask Darren what we are... I'm sure he'll have a different answer."

"He would," Louis states loudly, "he'd say that you were his responsibility really. Because honestly, Harold, he acts like your dad... and I don't mean that in a good way... but he does act as if you're his sometimes..."

"Yeah, I get that," Harry's speaking up and sighing. He places his face against his arms on his knees, "he's... he's not a bad person..."

"Anyone who takes advantage of someone when they're not in their right mind isn't exactly a good person," Louis speaks up quickly.

"How do you know that Darren and I aren't just that close?" Harry's asking Louis finally, "I mean, I do spend more time with him than anyone else..."

"Why do you keep defending him," Louis whispers.

"I'm not," Harry's replying, "Lou, if I told you that I was dating Darren... that I have had an affair with him... would that make a difference to any of this?”

Louis looks back at Harry quickly. "how could you date him exactly? You said he followed you here..."

"He did," Harry states, his eyes staring off, "doesn't mean that... that I didn't care about him... because I did. But then again, I seem to care about a lot of people that don't deserve it..."

"You're 20 years old," Louis is saying before he can stop himself. "Harry, He's 46. How could he possibly be any good for you? I'm really confused... what is it that you see in him..."

Harry bites his lip and shakes his head as he's standing up slowly. "I've gotta get some sleep, ok... maybe you should, too."

"Harry, god dammit," Louis is almost fuming, "why can't you just be truthful with me, please. I'd say that now would be a great time to be... given the circumstances as to why we're out here in the first place..."

"Sex, Lou... and fucking money," Harry finds himself admitting as he stops and looks at Louis once more, "that's what our relationship was. It was pure sex and money... materials. And when I tried to make it all stop, he became really possessive of me... alright? That's your answer. I'm sorry. You wanted the truth. And I get it if you hate me for that now... but I did tell you that you would hate me for it."

Louis closes his mouth, his eyes watching Harry walking inside and back to the bed. Louis lets out a deep breath and finally has the courage to go in, lying down beside Harry slowly.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Louis is trying to say, though he knows he's too stubborn to fully apologize.

"Just get some sleep, Alright?" Harry sighs, his back to Louis now. "We can talk tomorrow."

"You want to?" Louis asks in a whisper.

"If you do, yeah," Harry's admitting, his voice breaking, "maybe I should tell someone the truth after all..."

Louis doesn't know what else to say; he sighs and slowly places his arm over Harry's bare back.

He can hear Harry sighing in contentment... and Louis only wonders how much Harry loves his presence.

The next morning, Louis hears his alarm and he's groaning as he's sitting up to turn it off. The sheets beside him are cold and he doesn't see Harry's things anywhere.

He sighs and picks up his phone, seeing an iMessage from Harry already. Louis can't stop the grin that's creeping over his face as he reads it.

"Didn't wanna wake you. I have a busy morning scheduled with Gucci shoots and then Saint Laurent as well. I hope that you'll find it in your beautiful, Doncaster heart to forgive me for this. Work does fucking suck sometimes. Anyways, take notes for me. And I'll see you in a few hours, yeah? Btw, your hair was fucking adorable this morning. - H S"

Louis shakes his head and grins some before he's getting up and beginning to get dressed. He stops and looks his fringe over in the bathroom mirror, seeing how messy it is. Apparently Harry likes it this way, Louis thinks as he's smiling.

He sits and thinks about Harry's photo shoots; he wonders if they're going well at all. Then, his mind is wandering back to the night before... and Harry's wasted confession.

Louis knows that what Harry has told him about his relationship with Darren is absolutely true. He already knew the 2 of them had a pretty physical relationship... especially after watching them the night before.

"Louis, want a ride?" Niall is calling, "Harry told me to ask you."

"Yeah, coming," Louis tells him. He finishes getting ready and has some coffee before leaving with Niall.

They arrive in class and await their teacher, and Louis is only staring at his phone, awaiting Harry's text.

He knows that he's busy, but yet, Louis is already missing his very presence in this university room.

"Heard from Harry yet?" Niall is asking Louis as he has a seat next to him.

Louis shakes his head. "He's got a lot going going on..."

"Well, he had 2 different shoots," Niall sighs and folds his arms as he's glancing around the room. "Darren's here.”

Louis sits up, seeing Darren Johnson on his laptop at the front of the stage. Louis wants so badly to get up... to go say something... but he knows he won't cause a scene for Harry's sake.

"Does he know where Harry is?" Louis is quietly asking Niall, his eyes not falling from the professor.

"He does, yeah," Niall nods and mumbles, "he always knows. He excuses Harry's absences. He knows what his modelling consists of."

"Wow," Louis is saying, "uh, must be nice."

"The university knew he had the modeling contracts," Niall starts again.

"Yeah, I know," Louis chuckles, "I only meant... Harry seems to have it pretty easy because of Darren."

"Oh, yeah," Niall agrees, "I couldn't have said it better myself."

"But... why him?" Louis is asking lowly, his eyes studying Darren again.

Darren isn't extraordinary by any means, and Louis can see that; he has a pretty smile perhaps, good dark hair and even great facial hair and beard... and yeah, Louis could even see why Harry would love the age appeal. After all, Darren is definitely making his 40s look amazing.

And if Louis is honest, he'd say that Darren even makes Harry himself look amazing; and vice versa. The 2 of them obviously could've made a beautiful couple perhaps... once upon a time.

"Harry... maybe he sees something we don't," Niall states, his tone low. "I don't really know. I do know that Harry really should've told him he was done a long time ago."

"Why?" Louis whispers.

"Darren needs to move on," Niall replies, "and Harry needs to focus on his schooling more..."

"Doesn't Darren tutor him?" Louis asks.

"Yeah," Niall says and almost laughs, "but... do you really think Harry needs tutoring, Louis? He's fucking smarter than I am."

"What... he's faking?" Louis is asking with a confused expression.

"He's not faking," Niall starts, smiling a little, "let's just say that... well, Darren definitely does tutor him very well most of the time. And... Harry allows it."

"What do you mean by allows it," Louis is finally asking, Niall glancing at him. "I'm... I'm just curious..."

"Harry gives in to the lad," Niall whispers, his eyes looking around the room, "even if Harry doesn't exactly want to be with him, he gives in. He lets Darren do whatever he wishes most of the time. I don't think that Harry knows that I know that..."

"I... I found that out as well, unfortunately," Louis speaks up, biting his lip.

Niall looks at him. "Louis, you've become like his best friend. Do me a favor and keep an eye on him. Just... make sure he doesn't overdue himself. He’s done that once... and he doesn't need to do that again..."

Louis swallows hard and tries to nod, Darren beginning the lecture. Louis sighs and sits back in his desk, his mind wandering outside these four walls.

He wonders what Harry is wearing in the photo shoot right now. He wonders if he's smiling; is his hair a mess? How do his eyes look?

So many questions go through Louis' mind throughout his class. And the second class is just the same for him.

Darren even stops Louis after the 3rd class, asking Louis to tell Harry to call him. Louis only gives Darren a disbelieving glance... as if he can't believe that he's talking to him.

Louis is sure that Darren Johnson must really hate him by now... yet, he still gives Louis the same devious grin when he sees him, and it makes Louis sick almost.

After he has said goodbye to Niall, Louis is walking across campus to his dorm to grab some clothes; he doesn't expect to see Stan when he opens the door, however.

"Wow, haven't seen you in a bit," He's telling Louis as he watches him opening drawers and placing clothes in his bag. "Is Styles not with you?"

"No, he had work," Louis replies lowly, not really in the mood to have a conversation with this boy.

"Right," Stan nods, "forgot that he still models. Sometimes I wonder how he manages to stay in school as well..."

"He's smart, Stan," Louis is finally speaking up, causing Stan to look back, "He's beyond smart. He's going to make a brilliant psychologist one day."

"Yeah... maybe if he can stop fucking the one that's teaching it to him," Stan jokes with Louis, though he doesn't expect the reaction he gets.

Louis' cheeks turn red and Stan can tell how angry Louis is now.

"Look... I was only kidding around," Stan states, "I just know that... he and Professor Johnson are extra friendly with one another..."

"Don't fucking talk about him," Louis almost shouts, "Alright? Is it really any of your fucking business?"

"Look, Louis, the lad is fucked up," Stan says seriously, "I've known him for a while. Harry isn't a saint... he's a fucking whore who gets money from all these older lads..."

And before Stan can even finish, Louis' fist has met his mouth, knocking him completely back against the wall. And Louis doesn't care one bit that he has hit him.

"Don't ever talk about him like that," Louis replies lowly before he's grabbing his bag and leaving as fast as possible. There's so much anger burning all over him and he knows that he has to step away from this idiot before he really hurts him.

He shakes his head as he's walking down the hall, wondering how Stan could say such horrid things about Harry. Louis can't possibly see the Harry that Stan tries to paint for him.

When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he sees a familiar face outside the glass door; Harry Styles on his phone.

Louis can't control the grin coming over his face as he watches Harry; his brown curls shining in the sunlight. Louis can't get over the way Harry looks... the way he acts. He wonders why exactly this boy is so mesmerising to him.

When Louis walks out the door, Harry's glancing at him immediately. He waves and tells the person he's talking to goodbye.

"I hope you don't mind," Harry's starting to say, his tone shaky, "I was sorta hoping I could give you a ride... to our place..."

"Uh," Louis chuckles and looks to see Harry's Ferrari not far away. "Yeah... I'd love a ride, Styles. Thanks."

Harry grins finally and walks Louis to his car, Louis only grinning and forgetting any anger that he feels.

"Need to grab anything else?" Harry's asking as he's starting the engine.

Louis shrugs, "to be honest, I'd love to take all of my stuff out of that dorm... but, ya know..."

"Uh oh," Harry laughs some and offers Louis a joint, "what happened?"

"Nothing... don’t worry about it, love," Louis sighs and tries to smile. He doesn't want to bother Harry with the trivial things Stan has said to him.

But, after almost smoking the entire joint, Louis can't shut up... and Harry can only watch him, keeping his mouth shut and trying not to laugh.

"I mean, honestly, why do people have to go out of their way to be fucking cunts?" Louis is saying loudly before he sighs. “I don’t understand.”

Harry smirks, "can I have some of that now?"

Louis looks at the joint and hands it to Harry, "I'm... I'm sorry. Guess I needed that."

"I'd say so," Harry nods and grins, "bad morning, yeah?"

"Well, wasn't till I saw fucking Stan," Louis mumbles and glances out the window.

"Don't let him get to you," Harry's smirking, "the guy still can't get over the fact that I gave him a better blow job than his girlfriend did."

Louis coughs and glances at Harry, Harry only chuckling. "You what?"

"What?" Harry shrugs, "he hates me for it. Can't you tell?"

Louis licks his lips, his eyes watching Harry. "How the fuck did you 2..."

"Drugs aren't always a great escape," Harry replies quickly. "It... it was just being young and dumb... I've made a lot of stupid decisions in my life. I still do..."

"Is your biggest fear like... growing up and having regrets one day?" Louis finds himself asking, Harry only grinning some, "I'm high, sorry. And you did ask about my tattoo. The saying 'it is what it is' fits you rather well... I just notice things, sorry..."

"I like you high," Harry chuckles and grins at Louis, "uh, who really wants to have regrets, Lou?"

Louis shrugs, his eyes watching Harry's curls blowing with the breeze. "You seem... just like someone who feels they have to experience it all... like right now... not tomorrow... now."

Harry bites his lip and stares ahead at the road, Louis wondering if maybe he's gone too far again.

"I do think about the future," Harry admits, Louis glancing back, "but.. I have so much going on now... it's rather hard to think about my future too far ahead."

"I get that," Louis whispers, his eyes glancing over the interior now. "You're really wise... for 20."

Harry grins again, "complimenting me again? Thank you."

"Well, you are," Louis smirks before sighing, "you remind me a lot of... me."

"What?" Harry laughs, "how Exactly? Jesus, have you been drinking too?"

"No," Louis grins, "sorry. I wish I wouldn't have smoked all of that..."

Harry's giggling and giving gum to Louis before he's also handing over his water. "Just drink that. Geez... maybe you should've waited about trying that strain..."

"What?" Louis is asking, "I figured it was a normal joint..."

Harry shrugs, "not all of my joints are created equal, I’m afraid...”

"You’re telling me what exactly?" Louis smirks.

"It's, uh, strong." Harry shrugs and grins, "makes you wanna focus on something... or like dance... apparently it's only making you wanna blab..."

"I'm not blabbing, Styles," Louis says as Harry chuckles. "Fuck... weed is fucking weed, isn’t it..."

"No," Harry smiles, "it's much more than that. It really all depends on what you use... green, pure extract..."

"How do you know so much about it?" Louis is asking at once, Harry only grinning.

"I know people that work in the cannabis industry," Harry replies softly. "They make loads of money."

"What?" Louis is asking quietly. "Drug dealers?"

"Are you joking?" Harry's asking with a grin, "yeah, Lou, sure. No. Not really. They're not like that..."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Louis is saying now as Harry's pulling to the gate.

He talks to the guard before they're driving to Harry's house... and Louis still can't say anything.

"What is wrong?" Harry's asking as soon as he opens the garage.

"Do you have all of this... because of modelling... or drugs?" Louis manages to ask Harry finally. He takes a deep breath being thankful that's he's gotten it out.

"Wow. Yeah, you're really high," Harry smirks, "uh, Lou, this... all of this sorta comes along with it... the modelling, but also the dramas..."

"Is that the truth?" Louis asks softly while Harry's turning off the engine.

Harry licks his lips, his eyes staring off.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Louis sighs at once, "Jesus. I'm fucking horrible. I'm sitting here pressuring you to talk to me... I'm sorry..."

"You're not pressuring me to talk," Harry says at once, "Lou..."

"I should probably go lie down or something...," Louis is sighing as he gets out holding his forehead.

Harry watches him going inside and he follows behind slowly. "Lou, I can make you some tea... maybe some food... it’d help bring you down...”

"You don't have to do that," Louis chuckles, "maybe I should sleep it off."

Harry bites his lip and sits his bag down on the kitchen counter, Niall catching his eye.

"How was school?"

"How was modelling?" Niall calls in a mocking voice.

"What did I do to you today?" Harry's asking in defence, "Jesus..."

"I'll just..." Louis starts.

"Sit," Harry points to the barstool and says seriously. “I’ll make you something. What do you want?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” Louis stutters while he’s sitting, “you don’t have to cook anything, Styles...”

“French toast?” Harry’s offering before he’s tying his hair back. And Louis can only grin and agree.

“Hope you’re making extra,” Niall states when he walks in.

“I’d hate to know I didn’t make enough for you, Niall,” Harry jokes with him.

“Trust me, Louis, Harry is one of the best cooks I know,” Niall says proudly.

Harry only shakes his head and Louis nods, “I can see that actually. Seems he’d enjoy it.”

Harry winks at Louis before he’s looking in the cupboard.

“So, can I see the shots?” Niall is asking with excitement. Harry’s snickering and laying his phone on the counter for the 2 of them.

“They’re not that great,” Harry says softly. “The issues come out in 3 weeks.”

Niall stands next to Louis as the 2 of them go through photos on Harry’s phone of the Gucci and Saint Laurent shoots.

“These are amazing,” Niall beams, “I always love the Gucci ones... they’re so refreshing...”

“Gucci really seems to adore Harry as well,” Louis is saying with a small sassy tone, Harry only grinning at him.

“They do, yeah,” Harry nods.

“Did you find out about New York?” Niall is asking Harry at once, Louis looking confused. “Darren wanted me to ask if you’ve heard anything. Suppose you’d rather me ask than him.”

Harry bites his lip and tries to smile at Louis, “uh, Gucci is offering to move me there, New York... to... sort of become one of their models there...”

“Oh, like... the whole British thing in America,” Louis is saying with a small nod. “I... I had no idea though...”

Harry nods some, “I was gonna tell you about it actually. I haven’t said whether I’m taking it...”

“Sorry,” Niall says quietly, “should’ve waited to ask...”

“Doesn’t surprise me that Darren wants to know,” Harry sighs and shakes his head as he’s grabbing milk from the fridge.

“Why? Will he follow you there, too?” Louis asks out of nowhere.

Niall picks up a bag of chips and grins, “I’ll be watching the tele. Game on, after all.”

He quickly leaves the kitchen as Harry is glancing at Louis.

“Sorry,” Louis sighs, “I really should watch my fucking mouth...”

“It’s ok,” Harry’s saying at once. “I... I don’t want him to know actually.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, “Why not? He’s gonna know. I mean, your degree...”

“I could finish it at a university there,” Harry’s sighing and shrugging. “I don’t know, Lou. I honestly don’t know what to do.”

“Is it something you really wanna do?” Louis is asking, his tone serous now. “Really, Harold...”

Harry bites his lip and looks off, “it... it sounds amazing, yeah. But... I can’t just leave. Doesn’t work that way...”

“It’s your life,” Louis says at once, “Alright? Don’t forget that. You are in charge.”

Harry nods, “but my mum, my sister. No. I’ve worked too hard to get here as it is. I mean, I really should focus on school.”

Louis nods, “If that’s what you want. I mean, what if they just send you for a few weeks? Is that possible?”

“I don’t know,” Harry grins, “why?”

“Well, it just seems like it means loads to you,” Louis whispers some, Harry looking back. “would be a shame if you couldn’t experience it, ya know? I couldn’t imagine modelling in New York City...”

Harry bites his lip and nods, “I think I’ll ask them. Thanks.”

Louis smirks and shrugs. “Let me know how it goes.”

Harry grins as he’s getting out bread, “would you go with me?”

Louis closes his mouth for a moment, wondering if Harry really did just ask him that.

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Harry says quickly when he sees Louis’ face.

“No, I would love to,” Louis sighs, “but school... I don’t know...”

“I’m gonna try for... like a couple weeks in the summer,” Harry states and smiles, “I mean, if they want me to come... and I can skip one summer course... I don’t mind. It’d be amazing.”

“Just one class?” Louis is joking with him. “Ok, I’m up for it.”

“I’m up for it as well,” Harry nods and grins to himself.

“Have you ever been?” Louis is asking.

“No,” Harry replies and smiles, “haven’t made it there yet. I’ve seen a few places. I think Ireland is my favourite by far. Niall has a place there. It’s breathtaking.”

Louis nods and whispers, “I’m sure that it is. I’ve heard a lot about Ireland.”

“Maybe you’ll see it one day,” Harry says softly and gives Louis a small smile.

Louis continues looking through the photos, Harry excusing himself to the restroom.

Louis sees a message from Darren... and he doesn’t know whether or not he should ignore it... or read it.

He sighs and reads it... “the dinner party is still on. They want you to attend with me. Come on. Your party will be there when we’re done, H.”

Louis swallows hard and sits the phone away, his mind wondering so many things.

He gets up and joins Niall for a moment, and he tries his best to smile and pretend things are ok.

He sees Harry go back to cooking with his phone in his hand, and he can tell his mood has changed. He doesn’t know what dinner party Darren is even referring to... but he can tell that Harry doesn’t seem too excited about going with him.

“What time is Ed coming?” Harry is asking as he brings a plate to Louis, offering it to him with a smile on his face.

“Thanks,” Louis says softly. Harry gives him a nod before he’s walking to the kitchen.

“He said he’d be here about 4,” Niall looks at his watch. “Bloody hell, is it already almost 4?”

“We don’t all spend our afternoon high in front of a game,” Harry jokes with him before he’s giving Niall a plate also. He then takes a seat on the edge of the sofa by Louis.

Louis chews slowly, his eyes glancing up at Harry beside him; the way Harry smells... Louis can’t stand it. He always smells so mesmerising.

“I have to... to go to a thing,” Harry’s sighing and saying.

Niall glances at him, “you forgot about the party, didn’t you?”

Harry nods some and looks at Louis, “I won’t be gone long if you wanna wait here for me. I mean, you could hang out with Niall, play football.”

Louis nods some, “yeah, sure. No problem.”

“Harry made dinner plans weeks ago with a couple of people. They’re doing something on Harry for the magazine,” Niall explains.

“Ah,” Louis says, though he still wonders why Darren has to be there.

“I forgot because I didn’t want to go,” Harry sighs, “I mean, I get it that it helps my career... but... I don’t know...”

“You asked for it,” Niall shrugs and keeps eating.

Harry shakes his head and gets up, “I’ve gotta get dressed. My ride should be here in a bit...”

Louis watches Harry going upstairs and then he’s sighing and running his hand through his hair.

“His ride is Darren, isn’t it?” Louis asks lowly.

Niall looks back, “well, considering he’s like Harry’s business manager, yeah. He has to be there.”

Louis looks back, “Are you fucking serious? What? What doesn’t that fucking cunt do? How can he be Harry’s manager?”

“Because Harry asked him to,” Niall replies simply, “and Darren has several master’s degrees. He knows what he’s doing... or he thinks he does.”

“Fucking Christ,” Louis shakes his head, “it’s like the bastard is tied to him everywhere in his life.”

Niall shrugs, “yeah, I’m sorry you have to figure it out like this.”

Louis rubs his palms together and gets up, going upstairs with Harry at once. He opens the bedroom door, Harry looking back at him from the walk in closet.

“Talk,” Louis says, his tone serious. “Please. Just... tell me what’s going on here. I know that I’m high... and I know that I will ask a billion fucking questions right now... but I fucking care about you, Harry. And I just want to understand you... I just want to be a part of this...”

Harry stands completely still with the silk shirt in his hand. He pushes his curls back and looks away.

“I don’t have a lot of time to explain this right now,” Harry’s whispering.

“Just... tell me why he is such a part of your life,” Louis says, his tone gentle now. “I don’t understand this...”

Harry glances back at Louis, “I’ll tell you everything... I swear, Lou. Just... let me get this dinner finished. Alright?”

Louis bites his lip and finally nods some, knowing that Harry truly means what he’s saying.

“Thanks,” Harry says softly before he’s dressing again.

Louis takes a seat on the bed, his eyes watching Harry changing. “Do you have to do a lot of these dinner parties with him?”

Harry shakes his head, “not usually, no. A few, only when I do a lot of covers...”

“So, you’re on the cover of Gucci this time,” Louis whispers. “Sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“Yeah,” Harry looks back, “it’s nothing special... just something about who I am and what I’m currently studying. The university is wanting to do a story on me as well for their paper. Darren keeps pushing me to do it... but I personally don’t want to...”

“Why not?” Louis asks.

Harry shrugs, “I’m all about putting myself out there. But... I also want to keep part of myself private, if that makes sense. I feel like I have to be 2 different people sometimes... and I don’t want to be.”

“Why would you feel that way? Aren’t you always yourself?”

“I am, but,” Harry sighs, “certain things... I’d rather keep to myself. I don’t want too many people knowing who I am. I want to continue to be me... keep some mystery.”

“Now that I can see from you,” Louis nods and grins at Harry, Harry finally smiling again.

“Uh, I should be back by 8,” Harry tells him while he’s placing his iPhone in his back pocket, “I’ll text you, if that’s alright.”

Louis smiles and stands up while Harry’s pulling his coat on again. Louis steps over, feeling of the fur around the ends. then, he’s looking at Harry’s chest through this see through silk. He wants to touch Harry so badly.

Harry licks his lips, his eyes studying Louis closely.

Louis doesn’t fight the urge he’s feeling. He lets out a deep breath before he’s stepping forward, leaning up some to kiss Harry’s lips.

And Harry doesn’t complain or try to pull away. He only sighs and pulls Louis closer to him, his fingers gripping Louis’ t-shirt against his back.

Harry finally breaks the kiss and smiles some, “I, uh, I should get downstairs.”

Louis wipes his lips and tries to nod, his eyes still glaring at Harry’s shirt. “How... how long do you have?”

Harry closes his mouth, knowing that Louis is 100% serious right now. He licks his lips and grins some.

“What do you want?”

Louis steps forward again, and this time his fingers are undoing Harry’s shirt as his eyes stay on Harry’s. “Just you... if that’s ok, love.”

“It’s... it’s more than ok, yeah,” Harry is admitting. And Louis can tell that Harry’s slowly dropping his guard to him.

Louis goes and closes the bedroom door, his eyes looking back at Harry. Harry drops his coat off before Louis is walking over, his hands rubbing over Harry’s bare chest.

Harry closes his eyes and sighs out loud; and Louis can’t help but wonder if Harry is ever touched so softly.

Harry’s placing his hands over Louis’ next, feeling him touch him. And the look on Harry’s face is pure ecstasy.

Louis decides to go for it. He’s undoing Harry’s jeans in seconds, Harry’s lips moving in motion with his.

Harry almost moans out when Louis is dropping to his knees and sucking him.

And Louis is positive that’s he’s never felt so wrong, yet so right in his entire life. The way Harry feels, tastes; to Louis, this is heaven on Earth.

Louis can already tell how much he’s pleasing Harry... because Harry’s fingers haven’t stopped running through his hair.

He can hear Harry almost moaning out now and Louis knows he’s about to come; he only closes his eyes and waits for it.

Louis takes every last drop as if his life is depending on it. He wipes his lips and even looks up at Harry when he’s finished.

Harry’s breathing is heavy but he tries to grin, “Wow... I’m speechless...”

Louis watches Harry foxing his jeans. “You’re quite beautiful, you know. And not just there, Harry.”

Harry’s face turns serious as he’s buttoning them. He doesn’t know what to say now.

“Sorry,” Louis whispers, “uh, you should go.”

Harry bites his lip and leans over to kiss Louis again. And Louis doesn’t fight him.

Harry sighs when they finally stop, “I... I have so many things I want to tell you... and want to explain to you... about me. I know that this sounds crazy... but I feel like I’ve been waiting for this...”

Louis licks his lips, words failing him at the moment.

“I sound insane, yeah,” Harry nods, “and maybe I am. I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry for being honest,” Louis quickly states, “we can talk all night.”

Harry nods and puts on his coat again, leaving now before he tries to stay with Louis even longer. Because that’s all that he wants to do.

“Took you long enough,” Darren is saying as soon as Harry has climbed in his blue Audi. He fixes his black suit coat as he’s watching Harry.

“Sorry... had shit to take care of,” Harry tries to lie, his eyes on his phone now.

“How’s the lads?” Darren asks softly before he’s leaving the driveway.

“Fine.”

“How was the shoots this morning?” Darren brings up.

“Like normal,” Harry’s replying quietly as he’s glancing out the window. “Is it ok if I smoke more before this?”

“Jesus,” Darren is laughing, “yeah. Share though, yeah?”

Harry lights a joint and closes his eyes, wishing he could be away from here... drowning in a pair of blue eyes that are in his mind.

“So, Tomlinson,” Darren is soon working up.

Harry sighs, “he’s at my place, yeah.”

“Yeah, figures,” Darren says quietly. “Glad he has you lads.”

“You don’t Even know him,” Harry smirks, “really?”

“I do know he needs friends,” Darren is shrugging, “I’m sure he’s getting that and more though from you...”

“What does that mean?” Harry’s asking quickly. “What?”

Darren only shrugs again, “you’re you. I’m sure you can figure out what I mean.”

“Don’t,” Harry sighs, “just don’t start shit with me tonight, Alright? I have a lot to think about.”

Darren nods, “yeah, well, the dinner has to be over at some point.”

Harry doesn’t say another word; he only pushes his hair back, his mind only thinking of Louis again... and how much he’d rather be where he is.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The minutes seem to pass by so slow for Louis as he's waiting for Harry's text.

The party around him is only an annoyance at the moment... and he'd rather not have to hear all of the noise. He only wants to be in Harry's room, music playing, and Harry's skin against his own.

He sighs and goes to the balcony, seeking a quieter space. He keeps glancing at his phone, wishing Harry would just text him already.

"It's only 7:45, Tommo," Liam is speaking up as he pats Louis' shoulder and leans against the ledge beside him. "He'll be back soon."

"Yeah," Louis sighs and continues drinking the beer in his hand.

"Darren will bring him straight back," Liam tells him. "Alright? He knows Harry has work to do. He pushes him to do his schooling."

"I get that," Louis states and glances back, "but... he doesn't have to be so far up Harry's ass that he can't see straight..."

Liam closes his mouth while Louis only sighs and lights a cigarette.

"You really do say what's on your mind," Liam chuckles. "Harry was right..."

Louis wants to smile, but he doesn't allow himself to. 

"He goes on and on about you," Liam shakes his head and laughs, "it's like you've become his best friend over night... not surprising at all. He's a people person."

"He talks about me that much?" Louis is finally asking.

"Are you kidding?" Liam laughs some, "Jesus... he's... well, he already likes you a lot. I guess that's obvious though..."

"How do we become more than friends?" Louis finds himself asking, wishing once again that he hadn't smoked. "I feel like I'm only getting to know him..."

"Well, I suppose you can discover someone while being both to them... their lover and best friend," Liam states softly, "I mean, Styles has a lot of layers to him. I don't think any of us really know him... except maybe Darren."

Louis almost snorts before he's sighing. "Yeah... well, that's probably true. You really like psychology, don't you?"

"I do," Liam chuckles and nods, "trying to finish as fast as possible. I hope to... to help people like Harry."

Louis looks at Liam immediately. "Why does he need help?"

Liam tries to grin and shrug it off, "he doesn't. I didn't mean it bad... I meant those who need to talk to someone without judgment. Because Harry does shut himself off. I hope to really get to work one on one with people like that some day..."

"You're saying Harry needs a shrink," Louis nods and smirks. "I get it."

"Well, he does," Liam nods and grins, "I'm sure you agree with that."

"I do, yeah," Louis whispers, "do you think all of this... with Darren... is psychological? Like some sorta game to him?"

Liam looks at Louis with a confused expression. "Uh, it hadn't really crossed my mind, no."

Louis nods, "he's a brilliant psychology professor. Something tells me that he'd be brilliant at playing Harry... just the way he wants to play him."

Liam raises an eyebrow, "Why did you smoke?"

"Oh, fuck off," Louis states and sighs, Liam only chuckling. "It's fucking true, Payno. Think about it."

"You're saying that Darren is using mind games on Harry to keep him around," Liam nods and almost shrugs, "uh, are you a detective now or a psychology major?"

"It's only a possibility," Louis groans, "Jesus fucking Christ..."

"What?" Niall is asking from the doorway.

"Louis," Liam points and laughs. "He's just something else."

"It's a valid statement," Louis sighs and hits his cigarette.

"He seems to think that maybe Darren is psychologically abusing Harry," Liam states so simply, yet to Louis, it sounds completely horrifying.

"Uh," Niall says quietly, "I... I wouldn't say that I disagree with Louis..."

Louis bites his lip and looks at Liam. "It's not exactly far fetched, Liam. Come on, you wanna be a psychologist? Learn to read people..."

"I can read people," Liam says, though his face stays serious, "Why would you think that though? What exactly?"

"The fact that Darren's 46," Niall starts before Louis has a chance. "The fact that he has degrees in 4 different areas of study. He's fucking smart as shit. Aren't all the insane ones smart as shit?"

"No one's saying he's insane," Louis sighs, "I... I just think..."

"He's insane," Niall adds again, "he's too pushy, too bossy. He believes that he fucking owns Harry..."

"He does believe that," Louis states softly, though his mind is elsewhere. "And maybe he does own him..."

Niall shakes his head, "I can't believe that. I can't believe that Harry would be that dumb, Louis. He isn't. He's fucking smart... I mean, he outsmarts me... and I'm a fucking nerd..."

Louis smirks for a second. "I... I don't know what's going on. I just know that Harry really seems to despise him... so, which is the truth?"

Niall and Liam stay quiet now as Louis' phone sounds finally.

Niall excuses himself inside while Liam is phoning his own girlfriend. Louis, however, has butterflies in his stomach again.

Harry's almost here.

Louis isn't sure he should be this excited; he hardly knows this boy. But yet, he knows he's completely gone for him. He'd do anything for Harry Styles now.

He finally goes downstairs with Liam, the music booming again.

A young gingered hair boy is approaching a few moments later, a smile on his face as he's fixing his glasses. "Hey, mate, I'm Ed. Ed Sheeran. Harry's told me a lot about you."

Louis nods and smiles some as he's shaking his hand, "yeah, hi. Nice to meet you."

"Sorry I haven't made it over here to talk sooner," Ed is saying as he's folding his arms and looking around, "Harry always asks me to DJ these... And I take it too seriously, I think."

Louis chuckles, "you seem to be great at it."

Ed shrugs and smiles before Liam is talking to him now... and Louis' eyes divert to the front door next.

He sees Harry Styles walking in, his silk shirt halfway undone with his black suit coat on still. His hair is a mess and Louis wonders if he's drunk again.

Then, Louis sees Darren walking in, as if he belongs at this party. But as Louis watches him talking to several people, Louis guesses that maybe he does belong here.

But why does he?

Louis excuses himself to the kitchen, sighing as he's hurrying off. He's grabbing a beer from the counter when he hears a certain voice behind him.

"Did I take too long?" Harry is asking Louis at once as Louis is turning around and seeing the grin on his lips.

"Uh," Louis chuckles, "I don't suppose."

"It was fucking boring as hell, Lou," Harry's shaking his head and lighting a cigarette, "I mean, some of it was interesting..."

"I was wondering if you enjoyed yourself," Louis smirks some. "Ed seems amazing by the way."

"He is," Harry nods and grins some, "he does my tattoos... most of them..."

"Really?" Louis asks surprised. "Well, he does have a lot of ink himself..."

Harry chuckles and nods, his eyes glancing at the crowded living room and hall. "Uh, you wanna go upstairs maybe? It's really loud..."

Louis looks back at him immediately, and he's telling Harry yes faster than he knows he should. After all, that's all Louis does want... to be alone with this beautiful boy.

Harry leads the way up the stairs slowly, Louis watching him closely. He can even see Harry looking through the people... as if he's looking for someone.

Louis knows that he probably is... and he wants to be pissed at Harry for it... but how can he? Darren's been around much longer than he has.

They finally walk in Harry's room and Harry's closing the door, locking it behind them and not bothering to turn on the light. Louis only glances around the dark room, his breathing picking up some.

"I've gotta change, ok," Harry's saying before he switches on the closet light.

Louis takes a seat on Harry's bed, the lights from the balcony coming through the open doors. He sighs and lights a joint slowly, knowing that he's gonna need it for this.

Harry's soon throwing his clothes in a hamper and sighing... and Louis can't help but see how sad he looks for a moment.

"Do you need some sleep?" Louis is soon asking, Harry looking up.

"Uh, no," Harry shakes his head, "I'm... I'm fine. Sorry."

Louis nods, noticing that Harry's hands are shaking some. "Are... are you ok?"

Harry nods some and tries to smile, "just... need to smoke, that's all."

Louis nods and offers Harry the joint. Harry sits down by Louis after he's thrown on his white t-shirt. He hits the joint and slowly blows out the hit, his eyes closed.

Louis smirks at his Calvin Klein underwear again. "I can't get over those. It's like you have every color."

Harry shrugs and smiles some, "I may. I'm not telling you though."

Louis chuckles and shakes his head as he's watching Harry hit the joint. "You sure you don't need rest? You still seem a little... shaky..."

Harry nods some and bites his lip, "I... I sort of have bad anxiety, Lou. Sorry, I should've just told you that... but it's a bit embarrassing."

"Harry," Louis sighs, "god, no. It's ok. Hell, I get anxious too. I know mine is probably nowhere near as bad as yours obviously..."

Harry nods and looks off, "I've had problems with dreams and nightmares for years. That's why I take sleeping pills. Sounds insane, I know..."

"You don't sound insane," Louis whispers, "you sound overworked, Harry."

Harry manages to shrug some.

"Was the dinner that bad?" Louis is asking now.

Harry shakes his head and sighs, "dinner was ok. Besides arguing... I get upset too easily sometimes, I think... and shit happens..."

"What happened?" Louis is asking at once, Harry looking back. "What?"

Harry bites his lip and shakes his head some, trying to smile, "it's not worth bringing up."

Louis closes his mouth, knowing that Harry is referring to Darren in an instant. He knows what Harry wants to say... but maybe he's afraid to say it.

"What'd he do?" Louis is finding the courage to ask Harry, even though his voice trembles.

"Nothing," Harry sighs, "we just argued about school, Lou. It's... it's ok."

Louis licks his lip and hits the joint again, wishing he could quieten all the thoughts racing through his mind.

"My sister texted me earlier," Harry states softy, "she's been begging me to come see her new apartment."

"Oh, where is it?" Louis asks.

"Close to the London Eye actually," Harry grins some, "it looks amazing from the photos."

Louis nods and looks off, seeing raindrops beginning to fall some. Harry's only smiling more as he stands up and walks to the doorway.

"I hope it rains all night," Harry's sighing quietly, his eyes glaring off.

Louis bites his lip while he's standing. He closes the gap between he and Harry, his hand resting gently on Harry's waist now.

Harry looks back at him, searching his eyes. And for a moment, Louis could swear that Harry is looking straight into his soul.

He leans up, his lips gently kissing over Harry's neck before Harry's sighing loudly above him. Louis can already feel how much he's turning Harry on...the front of Harry's underwear are against Louis'. It only makes Louis get into this more.

His hand is sliding down Harry's chest and stomach before resting at the front of his underwear. He looks up at Harry, his eyes staying serious.

"I... I want to be with you," Louis manages to admit before his cheeks are burning and his heart is pounding. Why is it so hard for him to admit how much he wants to be with Harry? Louis is positive that Harry is already used to hearing that from other men.

Louis knows that he's not used to admitting that to anyone, however; he realises that Harry has much more experience than him.

Harry doesn't smile; his face stays completely serious. "Are... are you sure?"

Louis licks his lips and nods some, though he can tell that Harry's guard has fallen completely. He's completely vulnerable with Louis right now.

"I'm sure," Louis whispers before he's leaning in, his eyes watching Harry's lips.

And within seconds, their lips are entwined and Harry's pulling Louis even closer to him... because Louis is all that Harry wants, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

Harry's fingers are pulling Louis' shirt over his head in no time before his lips meet Louis' again, the eagerness between them only growing.

Louis starts undoing his jeans but Harry is quick to knock his hand away. He finishes undoing Louis' jeans and then he's pulling them down quickly.

Louis steps out of them and then he's pulling Harry closer to him, leading him towards the bed.

The desire and passion between them is too strong; it only takes Louis a matter of seconds to get inside Harry and begin fucking him slowly into the king sized mattress.

He's so thankful there's a party going on downstairs because Harry seems to be anything but quiet in bed.

Louis knows he isn't going to last; this feeling of being inside of Harry is too great for him because it's exactly what he's wanted... to be with Harry exactly like this.

"Yes," Harry's moaning out as Louis is going faster.

Louis leans over and bites Harry's neck quickly as he's coming finally, Harry's fingernails digging into his sides. He finally slows down, his breathing heavy as he's leaning his forehead on Harry's shoulder.

And suddenly, the intensity of the moment  is gone and Louis' nerves are taking over... he can only hope that Harry doesn't regret what just happened between them.

Harry sighs and smiles finally at Louis, "I hope I didn't, like, make you bleed..."

Louis smirks as he's getting up and heading to the bathroom. He cleans up quickly and looks in the mirror at his back. He can see the claw marks from Harry's fingernails and he can't help but grin.

"It's not too bad," he's telling Harry as Harry's getting dressed again.

Harry glances over Louis' back before he's smiling at him in the mirror, "yeah, sorry... I... got carried away."

Louis snickers and blushes some, hoping Harry won't notice.

There's a knock at Harry's door and the smile is fading from Harry's face quickly. 

"Wait here," he mumbles to Louis and leaves the bathroom.

Louis puts on his t-shirt and starts fixing his hair, hearing Darren's voice next... and suddenly, Louis can feel the anger beginning to burn all over him again.

"You didn't have to bring it by tonight," Harry's saying.

"Well, Zayn had wanted some of it," Darren says, "is Tomlinson at the party?"

Louis bites his lip, leaning back against the wall now, wondering if maybe he should make his presence known.

"He's here somewhere," Harry's replying, "not sure if he's staying. Something about football. uh, I'll be down in a few. I've gotta finish my paper."

"Can't it wait a little longer?" Darren is asking with a small laugh. "Come on, I'm here."

"Darren," Harry's saying loudly before he's sighing, "please... just go. I've gotta get this shit done... and we've already talked about us..."

"You say you're done every time," Darren is soon saying to Harry, his tone low now, "and yet, you still end up with me. How's that working out for you, H?"

"Please go," Harry's saying quieter, "I'm sure Liam and Louis will be coming by my room in a bit."

Louis stays quiet as he hears the bedroom door closing again. Harry's soon standing in the doorway, his eyes on his rings.

"Could've just told him I was here," Louis states and looks at Harry.

"I could've," Harry sighs, "I'm sorry. I... I just wanted him to go away."

"So, this is just normal for him?" Louis asks, "to come to your bedroom whenever he feels like it?"

"Lou," Harry's sighing and walking to his bed, picking up the shirt he had laid out. "I get it that it seems weird..."

"A bit yeah. He's a teacher and you're his student...," Louis is stating as he's walking in the room again.

"I've known him since I was 15," Harry looks at Louis, "it's not like I don't know him very well because I do. Too fucking well."

Louis licks his lips and leans back against Harry's dresser.

"Look," Harry's sighing, "I'm sorry. Maybe I should just go to bed."

"It's fine," Louis whispers, "I'm trying to understand things in your life."

Harry's dimples show for a moment, "uh, good luck with that. It's my life and I don't even understand it, Lou."

Louis nods and grins, "yeah, I would've guessed that honestly."

Harry picks up a joint and smiles at Louis, "wanna share?"

Louis agrees almost too quickly and follows Harry to the balcony. Harry's taking a seat against the glass and Louis does the same, his eyes looking out at the trees around the back garden.

"Do you use your pool year round?" Louis asks.

Harry lights the joint as he's nodding. "I do, yeah. It's heated."

"Nice," Louis sighs and leans his head back, listening to the music pounding down below. "Jesus, that's fucking loud."

"Yeah," Harry chuckles softly, "I think I've had enough parties to last me a lifetime."

Louis looks back at Harry, "you're really mature for 20, you know."

"You keep saying that," Harry's laughing and shaking his head as he's handing the joint to Louis, "I'm really not. I guess I have my moments. I do like parties. I really do. But... I have to be in the mood for them. And lately, I'm just not. My focus has been school... and work."

"I'd imagine that's pretty tiring," Louis agrees. "How... how did Darren end up being your manager?"

Harry glances at Louis, "who said he was?"

"Niall told me he was," Louis states, "at school today.”

Harry nods and shrugs, "he's not my only manager. But... well, I asked him to help me, at 18 when I signed."

"So, he's been what... your teacher and coach all these years?" Louis asks quietly.

Harry nods and looks off, "yeah, guess you could say that."

"Can I ask you something?" Louis is asking, his voice soft.

Harry looks at him and gives him a small nod.

"What is it about you that he likes so much?" Louis questions, his eyes not breaking from Harry's. "What sets you apart to him? Different from anyone else he could want? Even people his age..."

"I think you smoke too damn much," Harry chuckles and shakes his head.

"Well, I wanna know," Louis shrugs, "it just seems like a foreign concept in my mind... that he could want someone so... so much younger... so much different than him."

"Do we have to talk about it?" Harry sighs and smiles some, "honestly, you and I can think of something better..."

"Term papers," Louis smirks.

Harry laughs and agrees before he's staring off again.

Rain drops start falling again and Harry's smiling as he's watching them. Louis sits still watching him instead of the rain, wondering if Harry is even aware of how beautiful he is.

"How did he move here from Holmes Chapel?" Louis decides to ask next.

"They needed a professor here," Harry states simply, "and... well, he put in for it and got it."

"Did... did you two move here together?" Louis asks, his cheeks burning, "sorry, I know that's a weird question, but... I had wondered..."

"I didn't move here with him," Harry looks back, "it's not like that. At all. He followed me here actually. I didn't want him to. And I wasn't aware that he was going to move here, though it didn't surprise me when he showed up."

Louis' face falls serious, his mouth closing.

"I was here for a few months before he came here, Lou," Harry replies, his voice breaking. "I didn't know he was coming. He somehow found a way to become part of the drama department here as well... he's really like able and gets along with everyone, but he's also very cunning..."

"I'd say he is, yeah," Louis sighs, "how does he help manage you then?"

Harry leans his head back and sighs, "because... I told him that he could be a part of my team... and help out. I was 18 and felt that he knew me better than anyone in London... I gave him access to my work life because I trusted him... I knew him. And I think that it gave me some comfort when I was nervous about things..."

Louis stares at Harry, "do you love him?"

Harry's quickly glancing at Louis, "you're not serious..."

"Harry, it's more than possible for you to... to feel something for him. He's been around a long time, and you were young and impressionable when you met him..."

"Oh my god," Harry's sighing and almost laughing, "Jesus, Lou. I'm not that naive..."

"I do wonder," Louis states softly before he smiles some, "I'm kidding... sort of."

"Give me that," Harry's chuckling and taking the joint. "You, my friend, need to relax now."

"I like being blunt," Louis shrugs and smiles a little.

"Truth is," Harry starts his eyes staying on the joint between his fingers, "just a few weeks ago I asked him to step aside at my work... because I needed to focus on work at work and not him and school.... and he bought it thankfully, though he wasn't happy about it."

Louis licks his lips as he's studying Harry.

"But, truth is, I just want him to leave me alone," Harry manages to confess as he tries to smile, "it's... it's not really something I need going on in my life right now. I need peace..."

"And your relationship isn't peaceful?" Louis whispers.

"it's all complicated," Harry replies and pulls his knees up, "it's not even a relationship to me. It's like a friendship gone wrong to me."

"So, you do despise him," Louis says bluntly, Harry snickering. "Well, I told Niall and Liam that you did..."

"Why you gotta talk about me?" Harry's asking at once, "honestly, what the fuck? Leave me out of your conversations, Lou. Oh my god..."

"Oh, fuck off," Louis chuckles as Harry only smiles at him.

"I always say that hate is a strong word," Harry starts and sighs, "I mean, I love everyone. I really do. Everyone is amazing to me in their own way. But... hes' the one person I would use the word hate with... and that sounds really bad to me. Because I'm, like, incapable of hating anyone usually."

Louis nods some, his eyes watching Harry, "I'd say so. You seem like that type of person, really."

Harry nods, listening to the music booming.

"How do you hate him so much and yet, manage to stay so civil with him?" Louis asks.

Harry sighs, "because it's easier to be nice to someone than to be a dickhead. And... I'd rather not have any more conflict in my life. I mean, we fight a lot, Lou. That's why I asked him to leave my work. I asked that we keep our lives separated from now on... because it's not like he's my family..."

"He acts like he's something to you, that's for sure," Louis shakes his head, "I don't get it."

Harry watches the rain again, hearing voices on the balcony next to them. "It's not really something I've ever talked about. I'm sorry... I don't know how to do this..."

"No, it's alright, love. I get it," Louis nods and says softly. "I really do. Some things we hold inside until one day they begin to eat away at us... and we want to tell someone but we're scared of how they'll react."

Harry watches Louis closely for a moment before he's grinning. "Damn. Psychology really suits you, Lou, I do have to say."

Louis chuckles before he's sighing, his face getting serious. "Didn't realize your life was so complicated."

Harry shrugs and glances off, "I did tell you it was complicated. But I'm used to it, to be honest. Chaos. Sometimes it's beautiful. Sometimes not."

Louis bites his lip and looks over at the balcony beside them. "Does he offer to do your papers for you?"

Harry sighs, "isn't there something else you wanna talk about?"

"I wanna get this," Louis says at once as he's staring back at Harry, and Harry's face falls serious. "I do. Because I can't. He's... he's not right for you, Harry..."

"I never said he was," Harry says quietly, "I know he's not right for me..."

"Then, why keep him around?" Louis quickly asks. "It's fucking creepy."

"It's not..."

"It is and you know it," Louis states loudly. "I sat out here with you last night, if you didn't already forget that. The man tried to take advantage of you..."

Harry bites his lip and looks away. "He followed me here. He has made an effort to be around me for years, Lou. And yeah, I can say that I've been foolish enough to trust him. But... he offered me everything, he gave me everything I could ask for... and I did care about him once... so, I took everything he gave me...”

Louis looks at him confused, "what do you mean he gave you everything?"

Harry bites his lip, "everything. All of it is his. It's not mine..."

Louis blinks while he's trying to pick up his jaw from the floor. "What? Are you telling me that... he... owns..."

"All of this?" Harry points to the room behind him, "yeah. And the car. In fact, he bought that car for me when I turned 19, Lou. It was my birthday present."

Louis can't look away from Harry's face; his entire life seems to be a complete mess.

"But... why?" Louis asks, "I don't get it..."

"I didn't care," Harry shrugs and almost laughs, "I... sorta decided to put up walls and just go with life. And... I enjoyed his company for a while. He was this older friend that I adored and he gave me things... and acted as if he cared so fucking much. He changed though."

Louis bites his lip and puts his hands together. "Do you own anything? You do model..."

"I own all the clothes," Harry looks back at him, "the furniture, most of it. Uh, no, most of my work money is still in my account. I've been saving for a long time... I guess in case I needed it."

"In case you finally decided to leave and stand on your own 2 feet?" Louis decides to ask Harry almost too bluntly.

Harry tries to smile, "uh, yeah. Something like that."

"Why'd you take a house like this from him?" Louis asks quietly. "It doesn't make sense, Harry."

"I trusted him," Harry whispers, shrugging a little as the rain begins to fall more around them, "my mistake. He doesn't care about me...."

"He doesn't, no. He can’t possibly care about you as a person,” Louis says simply, "so, why can't you just walk away?"

"He's my professor, and teacher," Harry sighs, "I'd have to walk away from college... and I can't do that."

"Maybe you should... for a while," Louis tells him softly, "maybe you should buy some place to live too. I know you can afford it. Harry, it can't help living here."

"It's not that bad," Harry smirks, "everyone just thinks I'm rich as fuck."

"You are rich as fuck," Louis chuckles, "you're a fucking model. Gucci at that."

"It's not a glamorous lifestyle, Lou," Harry snickers and sighs, "it's a busy one. A lot of people try to take advantage of the person that you are, too. But, whatever."

"You're a great person," Louis says.

Harry looks back at him, "if I was, I wouldn't live in his house, Lou."

"That doesn't mean you're a bad person," Louis sighs, "just means that you've made mistakes. We all do. Hey, the lad had you believing he really loved you. And you were young. But... you do have to eventually let him go. He isn't good for you."

Harry nods some and stays quiet now, while he's staring at the rain falling swiftly.

“Why not take the job in New York?” Louis asks next, Harry glancing back. “He wouldn’t have to know.”

“You don’t think he’d show up?” Harry laughs and shakes his head. “Please. He’d be there the very next week. And he’d find a job at one of the colleges...”

“Harry, you’re not stuck with him the rest of your life,” Louis states, “you can move on.”

“Can I?” Harry asks, looking back immediately. And Louis can tell that Harry wants to break right now... but he knows that Harry won’t allow himself to.

Harry stands up slowly, his dimples showing while he's standing against the railing now feeling the rain falling on him.

Louis snickers as he's getting up also, "you want to get soaked?"

"I want to live," Harry replies with a grin. "The rain... it makes me feel alive. It's... it's peaceful."

Louis watches Harry closing his eyes and leaning his head back and he grins even more, unable to control the fond showing on his face. "It suits you... the rain."

Harry looks back at Louis, his face serious, “it makes me feel free a lot of times."

Louis nods some before he's slipping his hands around Harry's waist slowly, his eyes not breaking from Harry's. "then you should always feel free then. Because this you is quite a beautiful soul."

Harry smiles again, his fingers gently running over Louis' cheek, "are you like my guardian angel or something? Sent here to watch over me?”

"No," Louis smirks and shakes his head, "I'm... just me. But... I'll be whoever you want me to be."

"I want you to be you," Harry whispers, his eyes serious and vulnerable. He places his arms around Louis' neck and holds his body against his own, a small sigh escaping his lips as he closes his eyes and loses himself in Louis' presence.

"I hope that... earlier... all of that was ok," Louis mumbles out, his cheeks burning. "I mean, I know we both were sorta caught up in the moment and all..."

"Lou," Harry chuckles softly, his green eyes meeting the blue ones again, "I enjoyed it very much. Really. I... I really like being with you."

"I like being with you," Louis is whispering.

"Harry," Louis hears Darren's voice again coming from the other balcony. He looks over at the same time as Harry. "Don't forget about our meeting, Alright?"

Harry nods some before he's looking away quickly, his face miserable.

Louis watches Darren walking off to talk with Liam and a few others, and he's breathing out a heavy breath.

"What meeting?"

"Drama," Harry answers quickly. "Should be interesting. I'm probably slacking again, according to him."

"Do you really slack?" Louis asks with a small smirk.

"In my opinion, no," Harry replies with a wink. "I don't slack at all. I won't allow myself to. I probably take it all too seriously."

"You just wanna do your best," Louis shrugs and looks back at Harry. "There's nothing wrong with really caring about your studies."

Harry's shrugging as his phone sounds from his bed. He sighs and walks over to pick it up, seeing a text from Darren again already.

"He doesn't listen," Harry is sighing and shaking his head. "I asked him not to message me at all."

"Son of a bitch," Louis mumbles,"look, I'm more than ok with staying in your room until the party's over."

Harry puts his phone in his back pocket before smiling, "I have a better idea."

Louis watches Harry grabbing his coat, then his wallet as he's asking, "and where are you going?"

"We're going out," Harry replies with a small grin. He waves for Louis to follow him as he's standing in the doorway, "if you're up for it, Lou."

Louis grins and nods, "I'm up for it."

Harry's leading the way downstairs; he stops and speaks with Zayn telling him where they're going. Louis only stands there trying to listen, even though the music is making it nearly impossible now.

Louis starts talking to Niall about football while Harry's finishing his conversation with Zayn. And Louis isn't sure what they're even talking about... but he knows he has heard something about Darren bringing in pounds of weed.

Louis doesn't pretend to know what goes on in Harry's world; he only knows that things aren't what they seem to be at all. Darren isn't the nice, humble professor that others see him to be... and Louis knows this. He could see through him the first day he met him.

He could tell that Darren could fool Harry very easily into believing anything be told him... and that bothered Louis the most.

Darren's soon standing next to Harry, and Louis is sitting down the beer in his hand immediately. He's heading over to say something before Zayn is pulling him back.

"Don't," he's telling him lowly. “Not here. Not now.”

"Malik..."

"Louis," Zayn is saying, his tone serious as he's watching Darren talking to Harry a few feet away. "Darren's his demon... you can't make him go away. Harry has to."

Louis looks back at Zayn for a moment, then he's glancing in Harry's direction; he wonders how much Zayn knows as well. Was this obvious to everyone here? Did everyone believe that Darren loved this young lad?

How could they not now? He was always around.

Louis can only wonder if maybe the 2 of them had a good relationship once... and maybe Harry didn't want to tell him that part.

He stands still, his arms crossed over his chest as he's watching Harry look anything but happy about his conversation with Darren. Louis can see all too well that Harry doesn't care about Darren the way Darren cares about Harry.

Louis licks his lips and heads to the hallway, letting out a deep sigh before he's seeing Harry coming.

"Let's go," he's mumbling to Louis before he's walking to the garage.

Louis follows and climbs in the passenger side of Harry's car. Harry's backing out and looking at all of the parked cars along the driveway.

"There's his," Harry's saying lowly, pointing to a black and silver Audi not too far from them.

"That's Darren's?" Louis asks with wide eyes, "quite nice for a professor."

"Yeah," Harry mumbles.

Louis glances around quickly, then he's picking up Harry's keys and getting out, throwing his hoodie over his head.

"Lou, what the fuck...," Harry's laughing and watching him. "You're not..."

Louis starts keying down the side of Darren's shiny Audi, a giant smile on his face as he's doing it.

"Oh my god," Harry's saying in the car behind him, "he's going to be so fucking pissed..."

Louis shrugs and steps back to look at it, "not my problem. Guess he shouldn't be a fucking dickhead."

Louis is then climbing back in the car and telling Harry to go, Harry only giggling and shaking his head in disbelief.

"Wow," he's laughing, "I would've loved to have seen his reaction."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll hear about it," Louis smirks and looks more than pleased with himself.

Harry’s soon pulling into a late night diner as the rain is beating down outside. Louis is finishing the joint they have shared and then he’s getting out slowly, his eyes watching Harry fixing his coat, even though they’re both soaked again.

They walk in the diner together and have a seat, ordering dinner and milkshakes as they sit talking and being entirely too loud.

“Do you work out?” Harry’s soon asking Louis before he’s drinking his chocolate milkshake.

“I do,” Louis nods, “I used to a lot more than now. Uh, football, after all.”

Harry nods before he’s eating a few of his fries, “I shouldn’t eat this shit....”

“Oh, come on. Fish and chips is a delicacy,” Louis chuckles before he’s grinning at Harry. “You’ll survive one night of this.”

Harry shrugs, “I don’t eat shit food usually. Makes me feel like... shit really.”

Louis nods and grins, “I couldn’t tell by looking at you.”

Harry gives him a look before smiling again, “how many games did you win at your school?”

“Uh,” Louis chuckles and shrugs, “a fair few. We did win our division.”

“Impressive,” Harry smiles at him, “Niall will love your stories, I’m sure.”

Louis smirks, “probably, yeah. He’s a big fan, too, yeah?”

Harry nods, “he’s... yeah. He’s obsessed. Has posters in his room.”

“You have music posters,” Louis grins, “which, by the way, I love Panic! At The Disco as well. Good choice.”

Harry’s dimples show again as he’s sipping his milkshake. He sits the cup down and grins. “Let’s be workout partners.”

“What?” Louis asks with a laugh.

“Yeah,” Harry replies, “I work out a lot. And we could go on runs together. It’d be fun. I mean, you’re already pretty much living with me, right?”

“Am I?” Louis asks softly, his eyes meeting Harry’s. “Are you asking me to live with you?”

Harry’s lip curls into a grin again before he’s picking at the fries on his plate. “If I asked you, what are the chances of you saying yes?”

Louis licks his lips, “they’re pretty high.”

Harry nods before he’s looking back at Louis, “and if I asked you to move into my room... what would you say to me, Lou?”

Louis can’t break his eyes away from Harry’s deep gaze... and he can honestly feel how turned on he is by Harry’s look. What is it about this curly headed boy?

“I’d... I’d say yes,” Louis manages to reply finally, his mind completely forgetting they’re sitting in public.

Harry smiles some again and sits back some, “do you think Stan will miss you?”

“Do you think I care?” Louis chuckles, “uh, do you really have enough room for me? I mean, I can take the spare room...”

“Have you seen my closet?” Harry’s grinning, “it’s missing a complete wardrobe. You can fit your shit in with mine. I really don’t mind.”

Louis nods some and looks at his milkshake.

Harry bites his lip and whispers, “if you don’t wanna share with me, you know you don’t have to...”

“What? No,” Louis quickly starts, “I do. God, I really do want to. You have no idea. But I don’t want to be in your way...”

“I’m asking you to live with me,” Harry’s stating, his face serious, “you won’t be in my way. I want you around me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t ask you to share a bed with me every night. Truth is, I really want you around...”

Louis closes his mouth, his eyes studying Harry’s.

Harry finally smiles again, “sorry... I really do just say whatever. I’m not usually so bad at this...”

“Bad at what? Telling someone how you feel?” Louis asks softly.

Harry nods, his eyes not breaking away, “you’re different. And... I wanna keep you, Lou. If you’ll let me.”

Louis grins some, his hand reaching over and gently caressing Harry’s, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Harry’s phone sounds and he’s pulling it out of his pocket to see a text from Zayn, “shit... it’s getting really late.”

Louis agrees and soon, the 2 of them are heading back to Harry’s home. Louis sees Darren’s car still sitting in the same spot and he’s letting out a deep breath before Harry pulls into the garage.

“Why’s he here?” Louis asks when they’re back inside. 

The music has finally stopped and Ed is almost done packing up while Liam and Zayn are talking to him. Harry looks around more trying to see if he can find Darren.

“He’s probably waiting on me,” Harry finally tells Louis before he’s walking over to Zayn, “hey.”

“Hey,” Zayn looks back, “uh, I think he’s leaving. I haven’t seen him in the last bit.”

“His car is here,” Harry sighs and rubs his head, “look, I’m going to bed. Lou is coming with me.”

“I’ve got it,” Zayn nods and smiles at Louis, “get some rest, lads.”

Louis winks and follows Harry to the stairs, the 2 of them heading to Harry’s room. Louis sees Darren finally standing not too far away.

Harry sighs and Louis is speaking up first, “go to bed. I’ve got it.”

“Lou...”

“Go to bed,” Louis tells him again.

Harry’s going in his room and closing the door while Louis is walking over to Niall and Darren.

“Hey, Harry and I are going to bed. Horan, let me know what time practice is on Monday,” Louis says without making eye contact with Darren.

“Is he back? I’ve gotta talk to him real quick,” Darren is saying with a small smile before he’s trying to walk to Harry’s room.

“Actually,” Louis jumps in front of him, his eyes not breaking from Darren’s. Louis is aware that Darren’s so much bigger than him, too, but he won’t back down from this bully. “I’m going in there right now to sleep. You can talk to him in the morning. He’s exhausted, man. Now, have a good night, Professor.”

Louis gives Niall a nod and Niall only tries to pick up his jaw from the floor while Louis is going in Harry’s room and locking the door behind himself.

“How’d it go?” Harry’s asking quietly from the bed.

“Niall’s face was priceless,” Louis shrugs and grins before he’s undressing.

Harry watches him stripping down to his underwear before he’s asking, “can... can you sleep without any undies?”

Louis looks back at him, Harry smiling some.

“I just... want to be close to you,” Harry admits, his tone quiet.

Louis nods and slowly removes his underwear. Then, he’s climbing under the covers with Harry, feeling Harry’s warm skin beside him.

Harry’s eyes don’t break from Louis’, and the 2 of them stay quiet only studying one another.

Louis finally reaches over, his fingertips gently running over Harry’s skin again, causing Harry to sigh in contentment.

Louis finally leans over, kissing him hard and giving into every emotion he is feeling for Harry... and Harry only accepts willingly.

Louis is soon climbing on top of Harry, and within seconds, he’s making love to him slowly and passionately.

And Harry is sure that he has never felt this way during sex; he wonders exactly what this feeling is... is it possible that Louis does love him this much?

Louis moves so slow and so gentle with Harry that Harry is almost on the verge of tears when they’re done.

Louis sighs and kisses his cheek before he’s looking at him, “are... are you ok?”

“I’m... great,” Harry nods and tries to smile as Louis is getting up slowly.

Harry walks to the bathroom and so does Louis, neither of them saying anything. Harry stands against the countertop after cleaning up and Louis only watches him from the doorway.

“Did I upset you?” Louis decides to ask.

“No,” Harry replies and shakes his head, “no, not at all. Let’s go to bed.”

Louis nods and follows Harry to the bed, watching him switch off the lights; soon, the star constellations over the ceiling are all he sees.

He climbs in beside Harry, “I just wanted to make love to you...”

“It was beautiful,” Harry admits and looks at Louis, “I’m sorry. I... I’ve never felt like that...”

Louis looks at him confused, “really? Harry, you’ve had to of loved someone... or someone love you...”

“No,” Harry almost laughs and looks away, “no, that was all new to me, Lou.”

Louis bites his lip as he scoots closer to Harry. He places his hand on his stomach, his fingers gently tracing over his skin.

“I want you to feel loved... because you deserve that,” Louis finally says, his voice breaking.

“You don’t know what kinda person I am... who I have been,” Harry’s saying, Louis glancing back at him. “How can you love me?”

“You deserve love,” Louis states, “and you’re not a bad person. I’m sorry, but you’re not.”

Harry stares at him, wondering how Louis can be so sure of his words. “You’re not going to run away?”

Louis’ face stays serious, “where will I go? Is there really a life without Harry Styles in it now? I don’t think so.”

Harry smirks some and looks at the ceiling. “I’m not used to you, Tomlinson. But... you’re growing on me.”

“Am I?” Louis asks in a whisper as he’s putting his head against Harry’s. “Good. My plan is working, then.”

Harry snorts and closes his eyes, sighing out in contentment as Louis is holding him close to him... and this is all Harry wants now. These arms. This man. This soul beside him. He needs this presence beside him every time he goes to sleep. Can his life be this simple though?


	6. Chapter 6

The moment Louis wakes the next morning he's wondering how many beers he had the night before; his head is pounding as he's opening his eyes, seeing Harry's side empty.

"Harry," Louis calls, seeing that Harry's bedroom door is still closed and locked.

"In here," Harry's calling from the bathroom.

Louis walks in and sees him in front of the toilet, "Jesus, you ok? Want some water?"

"Please," Harry's saying and pointing to the small fridge in his room. "There should be plenty."

Louis gets a bottled water from Harry's fridge and he's quickly giving it to Harry, then asking for his hair tie.

Harry only smiles and gives it to him; and Louis is pulling Harry's curls back for him in a matter of seconds.

"Thanks," Harry's whispering with a grin.

"Too many sisters," Louis states and shrugs, "you ok?"

"I drank too much at the dinner party," Harry sighs and starts to get up, "I'm sorry you have to see me like this."

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Louis groans and snickers as he's helping Harry to stand, "come on."

"I shouldn't drink at all," Harry's sighing and leaning back against the bathroom counter. "It doesn't usually agree with me very well. And I only end up questioning my own decision to drink... like why I do drink."

Louis nods some, "sounds like a vicious cycle..."

"A circle," Harry's replying, his eyes meeting Louis', "a circle that's meant to be broken."

Louis closes his mouth, his mind only going back to the note Harry wrote him in class; he knows that it's still buried deep within his blue jean jacket.

"I need a joint," Harry's finally breaking the silence with a laugh, "maybe it'll cure this hangover."

"Perhaps," Louis nods and grins some. 

"Harry, are you lads going to brunch?" Niall is calling as he knocks on the bedroom door. 

"Uh," Harry's looking at Louis, "what would you like to do?"

"Me?" Louis asks softly. "Well, I'm not really in the mood for people..."

"I'm not in the mood for public," Harry smirks, "my head is fucking aching."

"We'll stay, Horan," Louis is soon calling, his eyes meeting Harry's again. "Harry is hungover."

"Suit yourselves," Niall is yelling as he walks off to talk to Zayn. 

Harry smirks at Louis, "you could've gone without me."

"What? Where's the fun in that?" Louis jokes and gives Harry a wink as he's following him to the balcony once more.

Louis stands and stares down at the pool water shimmering under the clouds; he smiles to himself before he's looking back at Harry again.

"Could I maybe go for a swim after breakfast?" He asks.

Harry looks back at him while he's exhaling his hit, "Why not. Yeah. I'll even join you. I'm not busy."

Louis grins some and looks off again, his eyes getting caught on the wind in the tree tops. He listens to the sound as he's taking a deep breath.

"When do you work again?" Louis asks next.

"Tuesday. I took Monday off," Harry's sighing, his eyes closed as he's leaning back against the glass door. "Fucking shit... I need a stronger one."

"Want me to grab one?" Louis offers in a gentle tone.

"Yeah. Thanks," Harry's grinning at him as Louis is hurrying inside. 

Louis looks through the box and he isn't sure which one to choose. 

"Go with the one with the green paper," Harry tells him, "means it's high in THC."

Louis nods and pulls one out. He walks back to Harry as he's lighting it and trying not to cough.

"It isn't that bad," Harry's smirking as he takes it from Louis. "Something tells me you haven't ever really had the strong strains."

"Guess I haven't," Louis shrugs and sighs, "uh, can I make you breakfast?"

Harry looks at Louis for a long pause before his dimples are finally showing. "You wanna cook for me?"

Louis bites his lip and nods a little, "I learned how to cook with me mum."

Harry grins even more, "I learned with mine. I loved it."

"Yeah, you can cook very well," Louis nods and gives Harry a smile. "I just figured that I'd offer. I know you feel like shit and all..."

"I'd like that," Harry nods and whispers, "uh, coffee as well?"

"Yeah, of course," Louis laughs, "you have a Keurig, yeah?"

Harry smirks and nods some before he's exhaling his hit again. "Uh, I'm not a big bread eater, but... an omelet sounds wonderful... with a piece of plain toast."

Louis grins, "you're so strict about what you eat. Why?"

Harry shrugs, "I have to be, I guess? I don't know."

"Harry, you're perfect," Louis is stating quietly, "I mean, you're small enough."

"I have to diet," Harry looks back at Louis and laughs some, "I don't always eat such small portions. I do have cheat days. You saw me last night."

"I saw all the alcohol and food you puked up," Louis nods and shakes his head with a small snicker. "Jesus."

"Hey, it's my job to look good," Harry's saying with a small smirk, "I can't take it for granted."

"You don't obviously," Louis is grinning and saying before he's going to find pants. 

Harry watches him from the balcony doorway; he's mesmerized really. He adores the way Louis' fringe looks when he first wakes. He loves the way his accent sounds first thing in the morning.  He loves to watch Louis stretch and yawn.

Harry just loves having Louis here in the mornings... and he's willing to admit that he wants him here... even if Harry can't tell him yet how much he loves him.

"I wasn't kidding, you know," Harry is saying to him.

Louis is buttoning his skinny jeans as his eyes meet Harry's again. "About?"

"Last night when I asked you to move in with me," Harry is replying, his voice almost breaking. "I wasn't joking. I meant it."

Louis licks his lips, studying Harry's face. He sighs and grabs his t-shirt next.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" He finally manages to ask Harry. "I mean, this isn't your house..."

"It is," Harry states, "I live in it, don't I? Besides, he's not coming around anymore..."

"Are you sure of that?" Louis is asking quickly. "He was here last night, Harold. How can you possibly make him go away when it's his place?"

Harry sighs and looks away again, "forget it. I understand."

"I didn't say I wasn't going to stay with you," Louis tells him next, Harry glancing back, "I want to be here... with you. But... I think you should find your own place. Because I can't sit back and pretend that this man is anything but the fucking demon he is haunting you and refusing to let you go. That's how I see him."

Harry doesn't turn away. "That's pretty fucking terrible, Lou. He's a human being, too..."

"He's a fucking grown ass man who should've known better than to prey on a 16 year old boy," Louis is saying almost too loudly. He finally sighs and shakes his head. "I'm... I'm sorry. I'll be downstairs."

Harry closes his mouth and watches Louis leaving the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

And Harry can only sigh and look out across the horizon again... wondering how he ever got to this point in his life. 

He knows what choices got him to where he is now... but which choices can he make to change where he is? And how can he once again become the person that he was before?

Moments later, he's in the shower washing his hair when Louis is coming back in.

"Hey, look, Haz, I'm sorry," he's telling Harry from just outside the door.

"Haz?" Harry is asking with a snicker. 

"Uh, yeah, I don't know where it came from," Louis shrugs. "Just came to me head."

"I like it," Harry tells him. "And... you don't have to apologize. I get it."

"I also get it... that he somehow means something to you," Louis is saying softly, although he doesn't want to even say the words.

"He doesn't," Harry's answering quickly, "I don't care about him, Lou. I want him gone as well."

"Then, tell him to leave you alone. Move away," Louis suggests. "New York, even."

Harry smiles as he's getting out slowly, "Lou, I... I already don't see my mum and sister enough. If I move there, I will never see them. Maybe once a year. And besides, he'd still find me there. Nothing is going to stop him."

"Besides what?" Louis asks seriously, Harry glancing back, "what? Will he ever leave you alone? Do you even know if he will?"

Harry starts getting dressed quickly as he's sighing. 

"Sorry, once again," Louis whispers, "maybe I shouldn't smoke."

"I like you when you do," Harry looks back at him, "you ask all the right questions. And you say all the right things, Lou. You do, without even realizing it."

"I do?" Louis asks with a small grin.

Harry nods, his face serious as he's standing in front of Louis now, "honesty is amazing. I... I need someone just like you in my life. So, thank you."

Louis closes his mouth, his eyes searching Harry's before Niall is calling from the bedroom door.

"Hey, we're leaving, lads. Behave," he calls to them, Harry only smiling now and stepping away from Louis slowly.

"So, is breakfast ready?"

Louis is making Harry's coffee a few moments later while Harry's telling Zayn goodbye. He closes the front door and pushes his wet curls back as he's walking to the kitchen.

Louis smirks at his black and white CK underwear again, "do you ever wear pants... or a shirt?"

Harry frowns, "do I go to class without pants?"

"I'm sure certain people there would love it if you did," Louis jokes and sits Harry's coffee down on the bar for him. 

"You're an asshole... but I quite like it," Harry tells him with a wink. 

"I like your underwear," Louis whispers, his tone serious as he's glancing down at Harry and wishing this boy knew how to cover himself up.

"Do you?" Harry asks, a smirk on his lips. He walks around next to Louis and leans against the counter. 

Louis only watches as Harry's grabbing his hand and placing it on the front of himself. He encourages Louis to gently squeeze him and Louis does without hesitation.

Harry sighs and closes his eyes as Louis is now feeling of every inch of him. Harry's fingers grip the counter edges as Louis is placing his hand inside his underwear now.

Louis is quickly kissing the side of Harry's neck, then he's kissing down his chest before looking at Harry as he's dropping to his knees.

Harry bites his lip, his fingers going through Louis' hair gently as Louis begins taking Harry into his mouth. 

Harry moans out louder than he means when he feels the warmth of Louis' mouth. The way Louis moves makes Harry want to come immediately.

Louis is so gentle and soft with him, even when it comes to giving him a blow job. And Harry's completely blown away with his mannerisms.

Harry's sighing loudly, his head falling back as his fingers grip Louis' fringe now and his hot liquid is meeting the back of Louis' throat.

Louis only swallows every drop before he's glancing up at Harry, looking too pleased with himself as he's wiping his lips.

Harry smirks at him and pushes his hair back. "I hope I made that easy enough for you?"

Louis grins, "you enjoyed it."

"You're just... amazing," Harry tells him with a amile. "In a lot of ways."

Louis smiles some before he's hearing a noise outside. He looks out the dining room window and sees a black car in the driveway.

"Bloody hell," Louis is almost fuming.

Harry's fixing his underwear before he's walking to the window, Louis behind him. They both see Darren walking away from the house and getting in the driver's seat before he's backing out.

"Was he... watching us?" Louis decides to ask, his eyes meeting Harry's.

"Unfuckingbelievable," Harry's mumbling and shaking his head. 

He walks back to the counter, picking up the coffee and drinking it down as Louis is only staring at him.

"That's really uncalled for," Louis states. "I mean, wow. What the fuck... does he just get off on stalking you?"

"You act as if I wanted him here," Harry sighs and picks up the plate Louis made. "I'm gonna sit outside."

Louis wants to say so many things... but he stays quiet. He only walks outside with Harry, seeing him sitting at the table next to the pool.

"Did he expect me not to be here?" Louis decides to ask as he's sitting down. 

Harry shrugs, "it's possible. I don't know. I haven't bothered looking at my phone. Maybe that's why he was here."

Louis nods, "yeah, I've noticed. I don't even know if mine is charged."

Harry looks at Louis and snickers some. "So, your food looks edible..."

"It is," Louis laughs as Harry's trying the eggs first. Louis only grins as Harry gives him a thumbs up. "My mum showed me how to make some amazing omelets."

"I'd say so," Harry nods and grins, "they're amazing. That's all my mum and I used to do... bake."

"That doesn't surprise me," Louis smirks and eats his toast. 

"What? I really enjoy it," Harry shrugs, "I get to learn new things when cooking. My mum and I have made a pie and cake for like every single Christmas. It's always fun."

Louis nods and smiles, "she sounds amazing. Gemma does, too. I just don't remember her very well."

Harry nods and looks out at the pool, "I do wish I saw them more. I'd love for mum to come stay but..."

"It's not your house," Louis nods.

"Yeah," Harry replies, "I don't know... maybe I should find a place."

"There's plenty around the school," Louis suggests as he's glancing at the pool water now. "It looks so warm."

"It is," Harry's grinning. He gets up slowly and Louis is giving him a look.

"Don't, Styles..."

Harry only smiles and jumps in the pool, Louis covering his face from getting splashed.

"What the...," Louis is saying before Harry's throwing his soaked underwear at him. "Honestly..."

"What?" Harry's asking with a laugh, "where'd they go?"

Louis chuckles as he's pointing behind his chair, "you over threw them just a tad."

"Shit," Harry's sighing, "well, I'm no Tom Brady..."

"You're not even a Derek Carr," Louis is joking with him as he's standing up.

"Oh, fuck you, I'm not that bad," Harry's laughing, "you coming in or what?"

"Do I have to take off my undies?" Louis asks with a smirk.

"Yes," Harry's saying at once, "it's a necessity to being in the pool with me."

Louis shrugs and starts taking his underwear off. "Sounds reasonable enough to me."

Harry grins and swims around some while he waits for Louis. "Well, come on then."

Louis is soon climbing down into the pool, a grin coming over his face, "it's really warm."

"Told ya," Harry's saying as he's leaning against the wall next to Louis. He lights a joint and sighs, "it's beautiful, isn't it? Can't hear much at all..."

"It's really peaceful, yeah," Louis is saying with a small sigh as he closes his eyes, feeling the sunlight on his face.

"We're going to the mountains in 3 weeks," Harry's saying softly before he looks off again. "If you still wanna come."

"Of course I do," Louis looks back, "but... is he..."

"He paid for half of it," Harry's shrugging and sighing, "I can't really say that he can't go, can I?"

"He didn't pay for it all?" Louis asks half joking. 

"We do things like this all the time," Harry shrugs, "it's just... different now."

"How so?" Louis asks daringly.

Harry glances back, his face staying serious, "I've never cared about someone like I care about you... but I assumed that was obvious to you. It's just different this time."

"You've never really liked anyone?" Louis asks quieter. "I mean... a certain person comes to my mind..."

"I've never loved him, Lou," Harry says quickly. "I... I may have cared about him once... I'm not even sure... but I wouldn't say that I've ever loved him."

"You what... just wanted the materials... the attention?" Louis asks, his tone gentle.

"I felt loved," Harry's admitting as he's exhaling his smoke. "And... I think I needed that feeling more than anything else. He... he helped me to believe in myself. It just took me too long to realize what he was doing to me... and how much of my life he still controlled."

"You had to wake up, so to speak," Louis says while he's watching the water around them. "I care about you, too, by the way."

Harry's glancing back at him, a small grin coming over his face, "I was hoping that you did."

"I'm sure that my sister will approve," Louis speaks up with a laugh. He's suddenly sighing, "shit... my sister. My mum. Dammit. I told her I would get a ticket home today.... and I'd come back Monday morning."

"Fuck... did you?" Harry's laughing as he looks at Louis. "Yeah, you may wanna go text her. I mean, do you have any classes Monday? I don't."

"I don't either," Louis sighs, "I need to go home, though. Haven't seen Doncaster in a few months."

"It is really pretty there," Harry agrees while he's climbing out to get Louis a towel. 

Louis gets out of the pool and takes the towel from Harry, seeing Harry staring at his entire package.

Harry finally looks back at Louis and grins, "so, what made you completely forget about going home this weekend?"

Louis chuckles and looks around before meeting Harry's gaze again. "I think that answer is right in front of me."

Harry smirks some as he's wrapping the towel around himself. Louis follows him inside and upstairs as the 2 of them remain quiet now.

After Louis is dressed, he's putting on his beanie and sitting down on the bed, looking at plane tickets on his laptop. He glances up at Harry not far away in the closet looking through his boots.

And suddenly, Louis is wondering if Harry even has plans this weekend... real plans. How badly does he want to see Doncaster again?

"Harold," Louis is soon speaking up. 

"Yeah," Harry's saying as he's changing shirts now. 

"Are... are you free all weekend?" Louis asks while he's checking the prices of 2 tickets to Doncaster instead of 1.

Harry glances back at him as Louis is looking up. "Uh, pretty much, yeah. I have school work, but... yeah..."

Louis nods, "uh, my mum cooks a really good Sunday roast... maybe you'd wanna come? I'm sure she'd love to cook with you."

Harry's dimples show again, "are you inviting me to go to Doncaster with you,  
Tomlinson?"

"What if I am?" Louis asks softly, "would you say yes?"

Harry can't help but grin as he's trying to nod, "uh, yeah. Of course I'd say yes."

"Good," Louis grins, "cause I'm booking our tickets. How fast can you pack?"

"I'm the master of packing," Harry smirks before he's walking in the closet again looking for a bag. 

Louis only chuckles and continues booking the plane tickets. "Leaves in an hour and a half. Should be plenty of time."

"What are we going to do in Doncaster?" Harry's asking from the closet.

"Uh, we can do whatever you like," Louis tells him, "really. We can stay at my mum's the whole time or we can go out."

"It is rather beautiful. I wouldn't mind going for a run on one of those back roads," Harry's telling Louis as he's shoving clothes in a bag. "How many pairs of boots do I need?"

"What? Uh, 2," Louis suggests with a snicker, "you and shoes. And, yeah, a run sounds nice. If we fill up on ales we're gonna need several runs."

"Oh, you plan on getting wasted at your mum's?" Harry's laughing. "Tomlinson, I'm surprised at you."

"Well, she won't mind," Louis shrugs, "as long as I'm not stupid and try to drive, ya know? She's actually really amazing like that."

"Mine is, too," Harry replies softly, "my step dad is as well."

Louis nods as Harry's finally bringing out his bag, as well as a suitcase. Louis smirks. "Wow. Are you kidding me?"

Harry shrugs and smiles innocently. "So, should we go ahead and leave?"

Louis nods and shrugs, "why not? I'm ready. But how did you... never mind."

"Told you I was great at packing," Harry smiles and heads out of the room. "Do you have connections over there?"

"Connections?" Louis is asking while he's carrying his duffel bag downstairs.

"Yeah... you know, connections," Harry's saying as he pulls out a joint and grins. 

"Oh," Louis says and chuckles, "Jesus Christ, Harry. Uh, yeah, I can find you some."

Harry smirks and walks out to his car as he's lighting the joint. He throws his things in the trunk and leaves it open for Louis.

"You sure you wanna take me?" Harry asks as Louis places his bag in the trunk.

He stops and looks at Harry, his face serious, "I'm completely positive that I wanna take you."

Harry manages to nod and smile some before he's pulling out his keys and getting in.

They arrive at the airport a few moments later, Harry texting Zayn and Niall about where he will be until Monday morning.

"Do you have to tell them everything you do?" Louis is asking with a smile from the seat beside Harry.

Harry chews his gum as he's looking around now suspiciously. "Well, they do live with me after all."

"Yeah, they do," Louis mumbles as he's watching Harry, "what are you doing?"

"He knows I'm here," Harry replies lowly, showing Darren's text messages to Louis.

Louis reads one text from Darren about why Harry is at the airport and Louis is already fuming again. 

"You're fucking kidding."

Harry sighs and puts up his phone, "he probably followed me. Look, I'm not worrying about it. I'm not replying."

Louis stares at Harry for a long pause before he's hearing their flight being announced. He and Harry head over to the line, and Louis can't help but stare at Harry as he's holding his ticket and playing with the rings on his fingers.

"Do any of those have any interesting stories behind them?" Louis decides to ask as he's pointing to the rings, Harry glancing back at him.

He snickers, "uh, yeah, I suppose they do. But it's not really a conversation piece to be had right here though, is it?"

Louis shrugs, "depends on how many people you want to offend today, I suppose."

Harry chuckles and shakes his head as he's stepping forward in line. "Uh, each one of them were given to me. I collect them."

Louis nods, his eyes looking at the red stone, then the green. "Are they, like, birth stones?"

Harry shrugs, "they may be."

Louis looks at him and Harry finally sighs.

"They are, yeah," Harry's saying softly. "I collect them. They've been given to me by a few different people..."

"I'm guessing men," Louis speaks up, an older woman behind them looking at them immediately. 

"It's not a conversation to be had right here," Harry's saying with a small smile before he's turning around and waiting for the line to move once more.

Louis bites his lip and looks off now, wondering if Harry will ever show him who he really is.

After take off, Louis is sitting back against the seat with his eyes closed while Harry's looking out at the clouds.

"Have you ever been through a storm?" Harry's asking, excitement in his voice. "Oh my god, it's fucking insane."

"I don't think I've been through any, no," Louis smirks at him, "you like flying, yeah?"

"I do," Harry's replying as he adjusts his beanie, his eyes staring off outside. 

"I didn't mean to offend you earlier, if I did," Louis is saying quietly, Harry looking back.

"You didn't offend me," Harry replies, "Lou, you probably think I'm weird enough...."

"I don't find you weird," Louis grins, "come on, Harold."

"I got the rings from different guys, yes," Harry's saying so simply. "It's not really a big deal to me, I guess. Because I collect rings. I like them."

"Ok," Louis nods, "so, which birthstone is Darren's, then?"

Harry glances down at his hand and Louis can see him staring at the ring with the red stone on his index finger. 

"Why do you wear his, too, then?" Louis asks softly. "It's the one I see you spinning on your finger all the time."

"It's a habit," Harry whispers. "I just... throw them all on."

"Why even keep it?" Louis asks, "I want to get you... but I can't seem to."

Harry smirks and looks out the window, "to me, it's just something to wear. There's no real connection between me and these rings."

Louis looks at him confused, knowing that Harry's lying to him... but he doesn't pressure Harry to continue. He only sits back again and closes his eyes.

After they've landed in Doncaster, Louis drives them to his part of the city, Harry only listening as he's going on about the surrounding streets.

"My school is about 6 miles that way," Louis is pointing to the right of them. "Looks so different now though."

"It's funny how things do look differently, once you grow up," Harry states while he's staring out at the two story houses with their garages. "Seems like you come from a nice neighborhood."

"Yeah," Louis nods as he's turning on his street. He smirks when he sees Lottie's car in the driveway. "My other sister is here."

"The one Gemma knows?" Harry's asking as Louis pulls in the driveway. 

"No, me other one," Louis replies as he's looking up at the house, "they're gonna love you."

"How are you so sure?" Harry laughs and sighs, "Sorry, I'm nervous."

"Why?" Louis asks with a small laugh. "You don't have to be."

"I've never met anyone's parents," Harry's saying quietly, "or their families. It's a bit... weird to me. I'm sorry."

"Pretend I'm just one of the lads," Louis suggests as he's stepping out. "That might make it easier."

"Yeah, I don't think I can," Harry is stating, his voice breaking. He sighs and looks up at the house in front of him as he's closing the car door.

Louis walks around to him and grins some, "you're gonna do great, love. They'll love you, I swear."

"You sure you wanna do this?" Harry's asking at once, not moving at all. "I mean, maybe I should just give you time with them."

"Are you afraid to meet them?" Louis asks with a confused expression as he's studying Harry.

"No," Harry states and sighs. "I'm... I just get nervous and anxious. I'm sorry. Certain situations do this to me and I... I sometimes try to avoid them."

"Harold," Louis says before he's smiling some, "it's my mum and my sisters. They will fucking love you. Stop stressing, ok?"

Harry nods some and tries to smile as he's taking a deep breath. "Right. Sorry."

Louis pats his shoulder and helps him grab his things from the trunk before he's hearing his sister.

"It's about time," Lottie's saying as she hurries out to them. 

"Traffic was fucking horrid. Harry, this is Lottie," Louis introduces them with a smile, "and Lottie, this is Harry Styles."

Harry smiles and hugs her gently, "hello. It's really nice to meet you, Lottie."

"You as well," Lottie grins, "Louis didn't mention how handsome you were."

Harry grins some and looks at Louis, "I'm offended."

"Ohh, shut it and come on," Louis sighs and motions for Harry to follow him inside, Lottie helping Harry with his bag. 

Harry walks in the door, and he's immediately seeing family portraits as well as many young photos of Louis. He grins and looks over at the staircase seeing all of the photos lining the walls all the way up.

"Wow," he says quietly, Louis glancing at him.

"Mum," Louis is smiling at his mother as soon as she's coming from the kitchen, "this is Harry Styles. Harry, this is my mum, Johannah."

"Harry, hello," Jay tells him before she's hugging Harry, "so lovely to meet you. Louis has told me loads about you already."

"Has he?" Harry's grinning at Louis. "I hope they were all good things."

"Of course," Jay smiles at him, "he didn't tell me how adorable you were though... but... wait a minute... Styles..."

Jay glances at Louis with a surprised expression and Louis only shrugs and grins some.

"Do you have an older sister?" Jay asks Harry next.

Harry nods, "I do, yeah. Gemma. She knows Felicite."

"He's that Harry," Jay looks at Lottie and Louis before grinning, "wow. I knew you looked familiar. I remember what you looked like at 15 years old. Louis, why didn't you tell me he was the same Harry?”

"I wanted to see if you'd recognize him," Louis shrugs and grins at Harry. 

Harry snickers and glances at Louis, "I take it my sister talked about me a lot."

Louis nods and chuckles, "afraid so. She used to talk to Felicite about you and school."

"That's fucking insane," Harry's laughing before stopping, "Sorry. I apologize for my language."

Jay waves him off and points to the stairs, "Louis, your room is ready for you lads. If you need extra blankets, they're in the hall cupboard."

"Thanks, mum. We'll be back down in a few," Louis smiles at her before he's heading upstairs, Harry behind him.

Louis closes his bedroom door and looks at Harry who is glancing around at the many posters.

"Music was my thing as well," Louis says softly. "And football, obviously."

"Obviously," Harry laughs, "wow. You like the Rovers. I've only ever seen one game there."

"You've been?" Louis asks more excitedly. 

"Before the stadium update, yeah," Harry nods, "it's been several years ago."

"Sick," Louis states and sighs before he's looking at his closet. "I bet I have about 10 footballs in there."

"Why not take them to college with you?" Harry asks, "what... did they not wanna come out of the closet with you?"

"Are you fucking kidding right now?" Louis almost groans as Harry's laughing at his pun. 

"Yeah, sorry," Harry's saying with a dimpled smile and Louis can only smile in return. How can he ever tire of seeing Harry's smile? 

"I have an idea," Harry's saying now as he's getting up and opening the closet. He smiles at Louis, "pick one and we'll play."

"You... wanna play football," Louis smirks.

"I've played before," Harry nods and shrugs, "I'm not good at all... but it'll be fun."

Louis nods and snickers, "Alright, Styles, deal."

A few minutes later, they're standing in the back garden in shorts and t-shirts while they're kicking around a soccer ball, Louis only snickering at Harry's attempts.

"Through the trees behind me, love. Not the fucking patio," Louis is laughing as the ball is rolling up the steps.

"My kicking is way off, I'm sorry," Harry's calling to Louis as he's chasing the ball.

"What are you 2 doing?" Louis asks them from the doorway. She closes the door and watches Harry chasing down the ball before she's laughing.

"Lou is trying to teach me... I'm shit at this," Harry's calling to her, "I haven't tried to play in years."

Lottie giggles and takes a seat as she's watching the 2 of them. 

"Honestly, you should've brought shoes," Louis is laughing and shaking his head, "my Vans don't seem like they fit, love."

"They're a bit tight," Harry's shrugging before he's kicking the ball again, and this time he kicks it much straighter.

"That was good," Louis calls and smiles at him.

"I'm too gay to even kick straight," Harry's yelling next and throwing his hands up, Lottie only laughing.

"Oh, Jesus," Louis is laughing as he's kicking it back to Harry. 

Harry finally kicks it between the trees and he's grinning and yelling at once, "yes! That's a point, right?"

"1 point," Louis nods, "you don't know anything about football, do you?"

"I know you kick it and try not to let the goalie block it from going into the net thingy," Harry's joking and giving Louis a wink. 

"Yeah," Louis laughs as he's spinning the ball in his hands, "Alright, it's 4 to 1 now..."

"You haven't gotten 4..."

"I have..."

"You have not...," Harry laughs.

"I have so, Harold..."

"No, Lou, you haven't. No way..."

"I've gotten it between those posts behind you 4 fucking times, Harold," Louis is stating now, Harry only grinning at him.

"Oh, Jesus, you 2 sound like an old married couple," Lottie is saying next with a grin.

Harry glances at Louis, Louis only grinning some. 

"Dinner will be done in just a few minutes, lads,” Jay is soon saying from the doorway. "Lottie, thanks for sitting the table, love."

"No problem," she's grinning and standing, "come on. You 2 can do this later..."

"We're coming, mum," Louis calls while Harry's going to get the ball again. He's finally running over to Louis, a giant grin on his face. "Not bad, Styles."

"Are you fucking joking?" Harry's laughing, "Jesus, I'm fucking terrible."

"You haven't played in years, right?" Louis asks with a smile as he's walking up the steps of the patio.

Harry nods as he's wiping off his face. "Yeah... I've always liked playing... but I've been pretty busy the last few years."

Louis nods, "hey... how about after dinner we take a walk? If that's alright?"

"Sure," Harry's nodding and grinning at once, his dimples deepening. "Where to, Lou?"

"Just... through Doncaster," Louis shrugs, "you said you love the way the trees look at this time of year..."

"You listen to everything," Harry's smirking at him before his fingers are gently caressing Louis' cheek slowly. "I... I'd love to go, yeah."

"Good," Louis whispers some, his eyes searching Harry's before he's leaning over and kissing his lips gently. He knows there’s a chance his sister could see them... his mum could see them. But Louis doesn't mind at the moment. He only wants Harry's soft lips against his own.

He finally pulls away and smiles at Harry before he's heading inside, Harry behind him.

"Do I have time to shower, Mrs. Deakin?" Harry's asking Jay.

"Call me Jay, Harry," she's smiling at him, "and yes... dinner should be done in about 15."

Harry's nodding as Louis is handing a bottled water to him; Harry only grins at Louis and mouths a thank you to him before he's heading upstairs, Louis' eyes watching him.

"He's amazing, Louis," Jay speaks up. 

Louis looks back at her as she's smiling at him. He only sighs and shakes his head. "He... we're just friends... I think..."

"You're not just friends," Jay states, her eyes meeting her son's. "I can see it on you both. The way he looks at you, Louis. The way you look at him. I know you both can tell what the other one feels..."

"Yeah, mum," Louis is laughing, "yeah, we do like one another. A lot. But... well, a lot is going on right now... and we're both trying to manage school..."

Jay grins a little, "well, I am proud of you for being mature about this... but you're allowed to have fun, too, Louis. And Harry... he seems like a really good match for you."

"You think so?" Louis is asking, his cheeks almost flushing. 

"I do," Jay nods as she's finishing the tea, "because I can tell that he really cares about you. He just... looks at you in a way I've never seen..."

"Mum, you've known him one day," Louis is laughing as he's watching her. "Come on..."

"Yeah, and mums notice a lot," she looks back at Louis and grins, "I watched you 2 out there playing football. I've seen the way he looks when he’s talking to you. Louis, the look on his face is... true admiration. He absolutely adores you."

Louis bites his lip and smiles some, knowing that his cheeks are burning now. 

"I may not know him very well, but," she shrugs and smiles, "his face says a lot when he's looking at you. Perhaps you should take notice..."

"I have," Louis nods and sighs before laughing. "Why are we having this conversation, mum?"

"Because... I like him," she tells Louis, her voice more serious, "and... to be honest, him being here almost feels like fate. After all, Felicite has known Gemma for years..."

"Fate?" Louis asks and tries not to snicker. "Mum... really?"

"Louis, I'm just saying," she shrugs and smiles some, "just seems that... maybe your fates were already meant to be. I know you didn't know him when you were younger... but he's here now..."

"And Maybe Felicite will end up with Gemma as well, yeah," Louis shakes his head and laughs, "sorry, I’m only kidding..."

"Louis," she's sighing, "joke all you want. I'm telling you, Harry Styles will be something special to you. I mean, you've never brought anyone home... and... the first person you do is him, and you can tell me you're friends all you want... but I have eyes. And I can tell what you feel for him. You may not even realise what you feel yet... but you will."

Louis closes his mouth now, watching his mother finishing up dinner; and for a moment he can't help but smile. He knows how wise his mum is... and he knows she'll most likely be correct.

“He does mean a lot to me,” Louis finally speaks up, his mum looking at him. “I haven’t known him very long though...”

“Do you love him?” She’s asking quietly.

"He's going through a lot, Mum," Louis says softly. "And... it's a lot of shit I don't wanna get into, but... he needs to focus on other things besides me. But, yeah.... I... I think that I do love him.”

“I think you do as well,” Jay whispers before she’s smiling, “he seems amazing.”

“He really is,” Louis is saying quietly as he begins to go on about Harry and his life back at university. 

Little does he know, Harry’s been standing on the stairs, listening to every word Louis’ mum has said about him... and he can’t help but feel overwhelmingly nervous now. He knows how badly he wants to be with Louis, but he also knows how many obstacles are standing in his way of having a serious relationship with anyone.

He takes a deep breath and heads upstairs again, finding clothes in his bag in Louis’ room. He’s going in the bathroom and closing the door before starting the hot water slowly, his thoughts still racing.

Harry isn’t surprised that Louis’ mother sees admiration on his face when he’s looking at Louis... Harry does admire Louis, very much so. But he’s positive that his face has never been so readable with anyone else as well. Harry has always been the first person to have a great poker face. 

But he doesn’t seem to be able to have one with Louis. Around Louis, everything that Harry has been faking seems to crash... and he can only be the true version of himself. He can only be truthful with him.

Yet, he wonders just how long this can last like this. He’s never had a relationship because of a certain someone else that’s in his life.

So, how does he have a relationship with Louis Tomlinson? After years of faking... how does he drop the facade and just be himself with Louis?


	7. Chapter 7

After dinner, Harry and Louis are driving across town and parking before they decide to walk the rain soaked streets. Louis goes on about how he transferred to college in London from Doncaster while Harry's smoking a joint and listening intently.

"... Which, I mean, I wanted to get away and see things," Louis is going on with a sigh, "but... it was like, in the beginning, I was scared to leave mum, too... and my sisters."

"I get it," Harry's saying softly, "I used to feel the same way... but... I don't now. I sometimes wish that I still did."

Louis bites his lip as he's studying Harry next to him, his hands buried in his hoodie and his Green Bay Packers beanie on his head.

"I'm sorry, for going on about me," Louis is sighing as he's glancing around the sidewalks.

"What? No, it's ok, Lou," Harry's laughing a little, "I don't mind. I don't."

Louis stays quiet for a moment before he's clearing his throat and saying gently, "you look like you have a lot on your mind."

"Do I?" Harry's asking with a small laugh. "Uh... yeah, guess I can't really hide it very well from you."

"You're very readable for me," Louis shrugs before he smiles some. "Wanna talk? I'm right here."

Harry's smiling a little and burying his hands further inside his hoodie. "Uh, I... I don't know where to start, Lou."

"Start somewhere. Anywhere," Louis suggests as he's glancing around, "anywhere is better than nowhere."

Harry's sighing out his hit, wondering exactly where he should start this... and how.

Louis says softly, "you were acting different in the shower earlier as well. What's up? Why the sudden mood change? Is he bothering you again?"

"He's not," Harry's shaking his head. "Well, obviously he has texted me, but... no. It's not Darren. It's..."

Harry pauses and Louis watches him for a moment before saying, "it's what?"

"I wanna tell you things about me... but... I can't seem to bring myself to," Harry admits, his cheeks burning.

"Harry," Louis whispers as they're stopping at a cross walk. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge... surely you know that."

Harry bites his lip as he's staring off at the city lights in the distance, "I don't want you to think less of me, Lou. I mean, your mum already thinks more of me than she should..."

"My mum?" Louis asks with a smirk, "what..."

"I heard you two earlier, sorry," Harry's mumbling and grinning some.

"She really likes you," Louis smiles, "like... a fucking lot."

"Yeah, I'd say so," Harry's grinning some, "I... I don't think I'm as great as she thinks though, Lou."

"You are," Louis nods some, his voice soft. "You really are. Yeah, you've gotten in over your head in certain situations, but... you're incredibly smart, Harry. I mean, you have amazing grades in uni while you hold down a fucking modelling job..."

"I make part of my money going out with older men," Harry's blurting out, his eyes meeting Louis'. He sighs before he's looking away. "it's my job... I... I'm sorry to just blurt that out... I had to tell you."

"What do you mean exactly?" Louis is asking quieter. 

"They're like... men who are lonely and look for partners... and they pay for that partner's time and services," Harry's shrugging as they continue to walk. "I mean, it's not all sexual. Sometimes, it's just business dinners..."

Louis stares at him before he's stating, "they're sort of like sugar daddies, yeah? But gay? Is that what you're saying here, Harry? Rich pricks?"

"What if I am?" Harry whispers and looks back at Louis. "Will you hate me? Will it change how you feel about me? What you think of me?"

"Harry," Louis sighs and shakes his head, "whether you've slept with 1 man or 100... and whether they pay you for it or not... that doesn't change the kind of person that you are."

"How are you so sure of that? You barely know me," Harry's saying lowly.

Louis looks back, "I don't fucking know you because... it's like pulling fucking teeth to try to get anything out of you half the fucking time..."

Harry's eyes widen some as he's glancing at Louis, a grin finally coming over his face, "see? You are a tiny fireball."

"Oh, fuck you," Louis is laughing and sighing, silence falling between them for a few moments.

"I'm not used to talking about myself," Harry admits finally without looking back at Louis. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Louis tells him at once as they're stopping again, "I... I'm not going to think differently of you, Harold. I'm not like that. Not with you."

Harry tries to nod. "I... I don't do it that much anymore... but... I felt I should tell you."

"Why though?" Louis asks curiously, "why do you do it?"

"Uh, I enjoy it," Harry's replying, "I enjoy the company, the conversation... I don't know. I know that I sound strange..."

"A bit," Louis nods and chuckles, "I'm joking. I'm guessing most people who make a living that way though enjoy it..."

"It isn't about just... the sex part," Harry's telling Louis, "it's about... their stories. I learn so much from these people. I love hearing their stories and shit like that. So, yeah, I'm weird."

Louis snickers as it begins to rain some. He's sighing before he says, "I suppose we should go back to the car."

"Yeah," Harry's saying with a small smile before they're both crossing the road slowly. "What is it exactly that your mum sees between us?"

Louis smirks to himself as he's burying his hands in his jacket, "uh... I believe she sees love, love."

"Love," Harry nods some and licks his lips.

"Yeah, well, she isn't the only one," Louis looks at him, "Niall does, Zayn obviously does, Liam... fuck, even Darren sees it..."

"I get it," Harry's nodding and sighing, "do you think that... that falling for me is such a great idea though?"

Louis is stopping and staring at Harry for a moment, his eyes serious. "We don't really control who we fall in love with, Harry. But, in my eyes, yes, you are so fucking worth falling for. I don't give a fuck what you've done in the past... or even how you earn all of your money now..."

Harry's closing his mouth, his eyes not leaving Louis'.

"I care about you... as a person," Louis whispers, "I do. Even... even if we were just friends. I'd still want to be around you, no matter what. I'm... I'm not sure you could push me away now."

The rain begins pouring more and Louis is only shaking his head and walking faster towards the car park.

They finally get in the Rover as the rain begins to pound down outside. Harry's pushing his hair back while Louis is starting the engine, tension suddenly arising between them.

"Do you wanna just be friends with me?" Harry's managing to ask him, Louis looking back.

"Do you think I want to just be friends?" Louis asks, his tone soft, "my own mother sees what I feel for you..."

Harry's smiling a little before he's playing with his rings again. "I've never... done this..."

"What?"

"This... us," Harry's saying and meeting Louis' gaze, "I... I really like you, I do..."

Louis is grinning before he can stop himself.

"But... god, Lou, my life is a fucking wreck," Harry's sighing and sitting back in the seat, his eyes watching the rain rolling down the windshield.

"Do you want to be with me?" Louis asks gently. "Do you want me to be your first, Harry? Because I'd love to be."

Harry's glancing at him, searching the beautiful blue eyes in front of him. How does Louis make it so easy for him to confess how he feels?

"Everything that's going on... I don't know..."

"I'm asking you... knowing all of that," Louis whispers, "alright? I get it that... that things are far from perfect right now... but they will be one day. And... if you'll allow me to, I'll help you... make things perfect."

Harry's face is completely serious as he's trying to find the right words to say to Louis.

"I... I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything," Louis says, his voice breaking, "I'll listen. You don't have to keep it all inside. I'm willing to help."

Harry licks his lips and smiles some, "you're fucking amazing. Honestly. I don't know if I could ever tell you that enough..."

"What do you say then?" Louis asks again, his voice softer, "I'm willing to stick around... stay with you... but... he's gotta back off."

Harry nods some, "yeah... I know he does."

Louis bites his lip before saying quietly, "I'm asking you to be in a relationship with me. A real one. If you wanna think about it for a while..."

"I don't wanna think about it," Harry's saying quickly.

"Well, I just... want you to make this decision on your own. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything," Louis is stating softly.

"Lou," Harry's saying in a gentle tone, "you're not pressuring me at all. Please don't ever think that. It's not like that with you..."

"Just with Darren," Louis nods and mumbles before he's placing the vehicle in drive.

"everything with him... it's all such a long story," Harry's saying without looking at him.

"Well, I have all night, love," Louis whispers softly. "I do. And... I'd love it if you'd just tell me who you are for once... everything."

Harry's biting his lip when he finally is able to nod. "Fine. Yeah. I will. I should anyway."

They arrive back at Jay's and are trying to be as quiet as possible while they're heading in together, laughing too loudly.

"Honestly, Harold," Louis is giggling as he's closing his bedroom door. "I'm sure my mum is awake now."

"I didn't mean to kick over the damn Halloween decoration," Harry's chuckling while he's undressing, leaving only his blue CK underwear on. "why does your mum have them out the first week of October anyhow? Bloody hell...."

Louis grins a little while he's watching Harry climbing under the covers in the bed; he's soon climbing in beside him, turning off the lights.

The room is dark and quiet, the street light coming in Louis' window on Harry's side of the bed.

"Thanks for taking me on a walk," Harry's whispering before he grins, "it... it was really nice. Exactly what I needed."

"Hey, I enjoyed it. Very much," Louis is saying back, "I enjoy spending time with you."

Louis hears Harry's phone vibrating on the nightstand and he's sighing at once. Harry does as well before he's saying, "ignore it. Please."

Louis stays quiet before hearing it go off again. Harry's sighing and reaching over Louis to grab it.

Louis watches as he's reading Darren's text... then, he's going to his settings and turning the vibration off. He throws the phone to the end of the bed before lying down again on his back, his hands above his head.

Louis can see how much he's stressed; he can see the anxiety Harry is feeling over the situation. "Can't you just ignore him?"

Harry's eyes stay on the ceiling, "is that even an option anymore, Lou? He... he's a part of nearly everything that I do."

"Then, maybe you should remove him from everything that you do," Louis states quietly. "Because... he isn't worth the stress he seems to be causing you."

Harry glances at Louis, wondering if he really is that readable to him; can Louis see through him just like that?

"How... how did he and you... become what you are?" Louis is boldly asking, "if you don't mind telling me..."

Harry licks his lips and glances at Louis as he's sitting up and pointing to the nightstand, "do you think I could... smoke that joint out this window?"

Louis nods, "of course, yeah. My mum won't know. She's asleep."

Harry nods and starts opening the window while Louis is picking up the joint and lighting it. He hands it over to Harry as Harry looks to be thinking over how to start this conversation.

"Uh, I met him at school when I was 15," Harry starts slowly, "he... he was our new drama professor. He had taken someone else's place when they moved away. And... he was nice to me from the beginning really..."

Louis nods while he's taking a seat across from Harry against the wall, "I'd imagine so."

Harry's eyes stay focused on the rain coming down, the street light allowing each drop to glisten as it is falling. 

"I was a really sociable guy when I was younger, Lou," Harry's saying softly as he glances at Louis for a moment. He hits the joint between his fingers, then continues, "I went to a lot of parties that the older kids had. A lot of the older girls invited me."

"You still seem pretty sociable," Louis states, "that's just your personality."

"Well, there was this party, when I was 16... a few days after my birthday actually," Harry's saying, his voice cracking, "and... well, I had too much to drink obviously because I did like to drink... and Darren had talked to me the entire night. He came to a lot of parties... we never asked why. I guess that... he thought that it would be a good idea... to... to try shit with me. I mean, I was drunk... and I wasn't in my right mind... but... I didn't want to... and I told him that I didn't..."

Harry stops and hits the joint, Louis' eyes watching him.

"He raped you," Louis states in a low tone, Harry shrugging. "Are you fucking serious?"

"I told him no. Several times. I did," Harry is saying instantly before he's sighing and shaking his head. 

"Harry," Louis is saying, his tone louder, "Why is he still around then? And why didn't you say something? He could've gone to jail for that... you were underage... you were just a fucking kid..."

"I know that," Harry looks back at him and says quickly, "Alright? I know I could've put him behind bars... but I was scared to admit what happened. He was a professor, I was just a kid..."

"Why is he still around?" Louis asks again, his voice softer, "the truth please."

Harry hits the joint and sighs, "I moved here at 18. A few months later, he showed up. He got jobs in 2 of my classes, and he subs for one of my other professors as well..."

"Ok, but how did he become what he is to you?" Louis asks seriously, "he... he fucking took advantage of you at 16..."

"The fucked up thing," Harry almost laughs, "is that... I really had no sexual experience prior to it happening... I had never done anything. I was a virgin. Well, look at me now."

Louis bites his lip as he's putting his knees up, seeing the tears standing in Harry's eyes. "How could you date him, then?"

"Because... being 18... I was really stubborn... and naive," Harry shrugs, "I... I asked him to leave me alone for a while. But... he persisted, as he always has. It's just who he is. And... he had a talk with me one day after one of my classes. He pulled me aside and he apologised... he asked if we could start over, if he could help me with my paper if I needed it... and he slowly worked his way back into my life. I didn't want to trust him at first..."

"Why did you?" Louis asks confused. "Why?"

"Because... I thought he had changed," Harry glances at Louis. "He... seemed different. And... even now, sometimes, he's not so bad..."

"Harry," Louis starts before he's sighing, "I don't understand this..."

"He wanted to pay me... for my time," Harry's whispering, not meeting Louis' eyes. "He... he knows that I do more than model to earn my money. Hell, I think the entire university campus knows that I fuck older men for a living now... it's not a secret to anyone anymore. Not when you're a model, too. I'm sure everyone already believes Darren is one of the men that pays me, too."

Louis licks his lips, "Stan made a fucked up comment about you and Darren being too friendly. He... he may have called you something as well... and I may have hit him."

Harry's eyes widen as he's smiling at Louis, "what?"

Harry smirks some and looks off again as Louis shrugs. "Yeah, I was pissed. And... I'm not gonna repeat what he said..."

Harry looks at Louis and manages to nod some. "It's ok. I've been called a lot of things. It can't be that bad. Besides, it doesn't get to me like it once did. I think that... that I have finally stopped caring so much about what people think."

"So, Darren knew about other men paying you for dates," Louis starts softly, "and he didn't hate you for it? He seems... like the jealous type honestly..."

"He didn't hate me for it," Harry whispers, "but... I also didn't start doing the job until after he and I... slept together again."

Louis nods, knowing that Harry is uncomfortable talking about this. "We... we can drop it. Sorry for all of the questions."

"No," Harry's smiling a little and looking at Louis, "I... I don't mind. You're easy to talk to."

Louis grins a little and glances out of the open window at the rain falling. "This isn't what I was expecting, you know.... when I imagined knowing you so well."

Harry smirks and nods, "that's why I don't tell anyone the truth. I'd rather seem like a mystery, I guess."

"You're still a mystery, trust me," Louis says with a small grin.

Harry's smiling as he's hitting the joint again, the wind blowing his curls... and Louis is mesmerized for a moment. He's sure that he's never seen anything as beautiful as Harry Styles. 

"Anyone ever told you what a pretty boy you are?" Louis asks softly, Harry glancing at him quickly.

"What?" Harry's chuckling.

"You're beautiful," Louis says, his tone gentle. "I mean, it's obvious why you model."

Harry smirks and glances off, "uh, yeah, I guess so."

"You're just... one of those pretty boys," Louis states, "you have beautiful curls, incredible lips, and hypnotizing green eyes..."

Harry's dimples show some as he's watching Louis.

"Not to mention you're fit and sexy as hell," Louis mentions and grins. "You're just... one of the lads who is fortunate enough to look like a perfect 10."

"I'm not a perfect 10," Harry's chuckling and looking at his stomach, "I have like... 4 nipples."

"Proving once again that you are one of a kind, Harry Styles," Louis is stating, Harry only laughing a little. "Honestly, I bet becoming a model came easy to you."

"Uh," Harry thinks for a moment, "yeah, I guess it sorta did. Have you ever seen me with make up?" Louis' face turns serious and Harry's snickering. 

"I'm guessing not?" Harry grins and reaches for his phone. "Here..."

Louis looks at Harry's photo album while Harry's eyes are staring at Louis, hoping that he can open up this much to him.

"Wow," Louis whispers and grins some, "you have the perfect lips for lipstick, that's certain."

Harry's grinning as he's leaning against the window sill and watching Louis going through various Gucci shoots now. "That was in Paris."

Louis nods a little as he's glancing through a few of them. "Your hair is shorter here."

Harry nods. "Yeah, That was last year."

"You're gorgeous," Louis can't help but admit as he's staring at a black and white portrait of Harry in Gucci attire.

"Thank you," Harry's whispering back, Louis finally glancing at him. "That... means a lot coming from you."

"How long were you in Paris for that?" Louis is asking before he's sitting Harry's phone back on the bed. 

"About 2 weeks," Harry replies, his voice quiet, "it was... exhausting. I couldn't stay awake half of the time we were there..."

"Why?"

"I had worked myself too much," Harry shrugs and sighs. "Sometimes... I have to... to take a step back and sleep a while before I reach a breaking point. It's one of the reasons why I focus more on school now than modeling."

"It's exhausting," Louis nods and Harry agrees. "Did... he go with you?"

Harry almost smirks as he's staring outside. "Of course he did. Do you think he'd be able to handle not seeing me for 2 weeks?"

Louis sighs and leans against the wall, his eyes watching the rain falling again. He reaches over and touches Harry's leg gently with his fingers as he's saying softly, "you know you can talk to me about anything... alright?"

Harry looks back at him and nods some. "Yeah... I know."

Louis licks his lips, his face staying serious. "Have you ever tried to end things with him?"

Harry doesn't look surprised by the question, and Louis is positive that he's been asked this once before.

"I have," Harry's answering, his eyes meeting Louis'. "As you can tell, I've never been very successful."

"Do other people not find it odd that he's around?" Louis is asking next. "I mean, he's so much older... and he's always at the clubs with you."

Harry shrugs and smiles some, "I've taken older men than him to clubs. It's not a big deal to me."

"You like people looking at you, don't you? You're a show off, yeah?" Louis smirks as Harry's eyes meet his, and Harry's dimples show. "There they are... those beautiful dimples of yours. Honestly, it's unfair how fucking pretty you are..."

"I'm not pretty," Harry snickers and shakes his head. "Jesus."

"You're very pretty," Louis says and sighs, "believe me. You just... look like walking Gucci."

"What? Why do you say that?" Harry's laughing and hitting the joint again. 

"Your looks. Your personality. If Gucci, needed the perfect face to represent their brand, it'd be you," Louis states and shrugs, "I don't make the rules, Styles."

Harry chuckles and pushes his curls back before he's watching the rain again. "Maybe that's why they want me to do so many shoots, yeah?"

"Maybe," Louis nods and grins. "Probably why they want you in New York as well..."

Harry bites his lip and manages to nod. "Yeah. Probably."

Louis picks up Harry's phone by his foot and grins a little before he's opening Harry's camera.

"What are you doing?" Harry's asking with a small smirk.

"Getting a selfie with you," Louis replies.

"It's kinda dark, Lou," Harry's laughing as Louis is scooting over next to him and putting his head against Harry's.

"That's what the flash is for, love. Now smile," Louis states and grins before he's taking the picture.

Harry blinks afterwards and rubs his eyes, "Jesus fucking Christ. We could've just turned on the light."

Louis nods, "yeah. Well, we can take some tomorrow."

"What are we doing tomorrow?" Harry asks quietly. 

"I'm not sure," Louis shrugs and smiles. "We could go walk around downtown Doncaster some more if you'd like."

Harry nods some, "that sounds lovely. Maybe a pub? Fish and chips?"

"You wanna eat fish and chips?" Louis asks and raises an eyebrow.

"I can eat poorly for one day," Harry shrugs and smirks. "I don't have to be hard on myself every day."

"True," Louis smiles before he's reaching over, placing his hand on Harry's knee. "I'm really glad you're here."

Harry's face grows serious while he's studying Louis' face closely. "I'm really glad I'm here as well, Louis.

Louis' blue eyes pierce Harry's as he's gently running his fingers over Harry's cheek softly.... and he's more than aware of the growing tension between them. But, for some reason, he doesn't care at all right now.

Harry runs his fingers down Louis' chest slowly as he's saying in a low tone, "make love to me, Lou. Please."

Louis can feel himself flinch at Harry's words... and once again, he's blown away by this boy's bluntness. But he knows he wouldn't have Harry any other way.

Louis manages to nod some while he's licking his lips and leaning over slowly to kiss Harry.

Harry pulls Louis into him by the back of his neck as their lips are moving in unison. And soon, Harry is moaning lowly as Louis' tongue is searching every inch of Harry's mouth.

Louis lays Harry down on his back slowly, then he's pulling Harry's underwear off, revealing just how turned on Harry is.

Louis glances back at Harry and Harry only shrugs a little with a smirk. Louis grins and moves up to kiss him again.

And within minutes, Louis is entering Harry slowly and gently, and Harry can only sigh and throw his head back into the pillow as Louis begins moving a little.

"Are you ok?" Louis whispers, catching Harry off guard with the question. "Do I need to go slower?"

"I'm... I'm fine," Harry's mumbling and smiling a little, "really. You're moving fucking perfectly..."

Louis smirks before he's kissing Harry again, his thrusts still slow and gentle.

Harry moans out quietly while Louis is kissing over his neck, then biting it as he's fucking him so gently into his bed.

And Harry only sighs and runs his fingers over Louis' back softly. He knows he isn't used to someone being so gentle with him; and so thoughtful. He's amazed at how Louis moves... and at how Louis treats him.

And Harry finally feel the difference between love and lust... because he knows what Louis is doing to him right now isn't out of lust.

Harry can feel something growing inside of him... and the feeling only seems to deepen every time he and Louis are entwined like this. But Harry isn't sure what this feeling is.. unless it really is love.

Louis' fingers run down Harry's sides softly before he's kissing Harry again, then thrusting into him a little faster.

He runs his lips over the side of Harry's neck again and Harry's moaning out and nearly screaming now.... and Louis knows that Harry is already coming, completely untouched.

So, Louis speeds up some before he's nearly screaming and coming inside of Harry, his hands gripping Harry's hips tightly.

Harry bites his hand while he's trying to remain quiet, his breathing heavy.

Louis finally slows down, his eyes focusing on Harry now, and the mess he has made. He grins up at Harry as he's trying to catch his breath.

"Wow. Just wow."

"What?" Harry's asking, his cheeks blushing now. "I... I'm sorry... I do that when I'm..."

"Don't," Louis whispers and smiles, "you don't have to explain it. I'll just take it as a sign that... I did fucking amazing."

Harry smirks and nods, "yeah... well, you should honestly."

Louis giggles while he's getting up and grabbing clothes. He waits for Harry to join him, then they're opening the door and crossing the hall together to go in the bathroom.

After they've cleaned up, Louis tosses the soiled laundry in his bag before he's climbing in bed by Harry, grabbing a cigarette from him.

Harry manages to smile some before he's glancing back outside.

"What's up?" Louis asks softly.

Harry shakes his head, "it's nothing, love. Really. Just... a lot on my mind. Sorry."

"Wanna talk?" Louis asks, "I mean, I was hoping we'd sleep, but..."

"I don't know if I can sleep at the moment," Harry tries to laugh before he shrugs. "Sorry. You can go ahead though..."

"No," Louis whispers, "I'll stay awake with you. I don't mind."

"You don't have to..."

"Harold," Louis states.

"Sorry," Harry nods and smiles a little before he's sighing. 

Louis watches him as he's hitting his cigarette. "What's bothering you?"

"The truth?" Harry asks, his voice breaking.

"Yes," Louis replies quietly.

Harry plays with the rings still on his fingers before he's smiling a little and sniffing. Louis turns Harry's face to him as he's looking into his eyes, seeing the tears starting to fall.

"Harry, what? What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," Harry tries to laugh again before he's sighing. "Really. It's... it's nothing."

"It's obviously something. Did I do something wrong?" Louis is asking in almost a whisper.

"No," Harry's quickly replying, "Louis, it's not you... Jesus, I'm sorry. This isn't because of you... it's because... no one has ever done that... with me... what you just did..."

Louis bites his lip and tries to nod, suddenly realising what Harry is upset about. "You... you asked me to make love to you..."

"And you did an amazing job," Harry's saying softly, his dimples showing some. "You did... I'm just... not..."

"Used to it?" Louis asks in a gentle tone, Harry's eyes meeting his. "You've never felt like that... from having sex with someone? Before I came along?"

"I haven't. I mean, that's the second time that we have done that... and, I'm just not used to it," Harry replies and looks at Louis again, "guys like me, we don't feel very... loved or connected to anyone..."

"Guys like you," Louis nods and looks outside again as he's hitting his cigarette. "I don't quite understand that phrase, Harold. You seem like an incredible fucking lad..."

Harry licks his lips and keeps his eyes off on the street lights, "I don't fall in love... I never have even... felt..."

Harry stops and closes his mouth, Louis watching him closely; and Louis suddenly wonders if maybe Harry has never learned to truly love anyone in his life. After all, his mother and sister are no longer around. So, Louis can only wonder if maybe Harry's perception of love isn't what it should be.

"We can take this a lot slower," Louis whispers, Harry finally glancing at him. "I'm ok with that, Harry. I am. Really. I... I just want to be around you. I don't want to scare you away. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed..."

"I don't feel overwhelmed," Harry's saying with a small smile as he's sniffing and looking off again, "I... I feel different... and I don't know what to do with that."

Louis nods some before whispering, "I get that. I mean, if a relationship is too much for you right now, that's ok..."

"You wanna break up with me already?" Harry's asking with a small smirk. "That was rather fast..."

"Yeah," Louis laughs a little before he's grinning at Harry. "I... I know that... it's a lot for you to take in... me and you, this... and... I get it if I need to back off some. I want you to feel comfortable with me..."

"I do," Harry's saying quickly as he's staring at Louis, "I... I feel more comfortable with you than anyone else. And maybe that's what scares me..."

Louis' eyes stay on Harry's, and Louis can suddenly see just how vulnerable Harry is with him... and he wonders if maybe Harry has finally dropped every wall, and every barricade he's put up around himself.

"You're afraid I'll hurt you," Louis whispers, his eyes not breaking from Harry's now. He knows that Harry is rather blunt, but Louis also knows that he can be quite to the point, too when he wants to be.

Harry only bites his lip and shrugs some, and Louis knows that he's right. 

 

"I'm... I'm not sure anyone can love me," Harry manages to get out before he's trying to smile some, "I'm sorry. That's just the truth. I... I struggle to believe that anyone else besides my mum could ever love me again... I'm not exactly a good person..."

"You're not a bad person either," Louis is quickly saying. "Yeah, you've made some shitty choices, but you have an amazing heart, Harry."

"I'm not a good person, Lou," Harry's whispering again, his eyes not leaving Louis'. "And... how do I know that you won't run away? I mean, anyone with half a brain would know better than to get involved with me..."

"Says who?" Louis asks quickly. "Who says that, Harry? Yourself? Because everyone I know adores you... and says you're an incredible human being."

"Right," Harry smirks some and nods, "that's why I like sleeping with older men..."

Louis licks his lips as he's staring at Harry. "Your friends think the world of you. Niall, Zayn... they both love you. No one thinks you're a bad person..."

"If you knew everything.... about me... I'm sure you would think twice before you got involved with me," Harry manages to whisper to Louis before he's looking away again. "Zayn... he's like my older brother. I think he feels responsible for me. He may love me, but he doesn't agree with the things that I do..."

"What things?" Louis asks quickly before he's putting out his cigarette and leaning back against the wall, his eyes searching over Harry's face. "What do you do that makes you so fucking bad?"

Harry looks at him, "I'm a fucking prostitute... and... I sell shit. I'm... I'm not exactly great, Lou. I'm not. Everything I'm involved in is illegal, except my modelling career. It's the only thing that's real..."

"What do you sell?" Louis decides to ask, his voice softer. "And who do you sell for? Darren?"

Harry looks at Louis, then glances out the window again. "Zayn and I sell for some other guys. We... we don't know them that well... it's just money."

"Just money," Louis nods, "why... why do you need so much money, Harry? I'm curious... because you're a model and already make loads. When's it enough?"

"I don't sell much anymore," Harry mumbles and meets Louis' gaze. "I've... tried to focus more on school. It's... not about money to me. It's more like... I wanna pay for myself."

Louis looks at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I don't like constantly being reminded that... that my vehicle and home are not mine," Harry states with a small sigh as he's reaching for his pack of cigarettes on the nightstand. "I don't like constantly hearing that... that my life is owned by a middle aged professor..."

Louis bites his lip as he's watching Harry close his mouth and run his fingers through his hair. Harry's then pulling a joint from the cigarette pack and lighting it, Louis' eyes still focused on him.

"I think that he has some sorta father/son complex with you," Louis speaks up, Harry looking at him before he's smirking.

"What?"

"I do," Louis states with a nod, "I believe that Darren not only wants to own you, but he also wants you to think of him sorta as your dad... like he's the one that has given you all of this..."

Harry smiles a little, "are you high, Lou?"

Louis shrugs and looks outside, "not high enough. Wanna share?"

Harry grins while Louis is taking the joint from his fingers. Harry watches him hitting it and he swears he could watch Louis like this forever. He doesn't know why it's such a turn on to see Louis taking a long hit.

"So, what are your best memories of Doncaster?" Harry is changing the subject finally, Louis' eyes meeting his.

"Uh," Louis chuckles, "I have a lot of them. Mostly Christmases... and the snow. But... I remember seeing the Rovers play several times...."

Harry nods and watches Louis as he's talking, a grin crossing his lips before he can even stop himself; he swears he could listen to Louis' accent for ages.

"They were always really shitty seats," Louis laughs and shakes his head, "but... the lads and I didn't care... it was brilliant just being there, you know?"

"Yeah," Harry whispers and smiles.

"They have... these VIP suites though," Louis starts with a wide grin, "where you have this huge room to yourself, and all the alcohol you want... but they're fucking high as hell. I've told myself that I would watch a Rovers game from one of those suites before I die... and I fucking will."

Harry snickers, "I'm sure you will. You'll probably love it."

Louis smiles some as he's glancing at Harry. "I know you're not a big football lad..."

"Hey, we all have something we're passionate about though," Harry shrugs and grins, "I think your love for football is adorable."

"Stop that," Louis snaps and sighs, Harry giggling. "Jesus. I'm not fucking adorable..."

"I beg to differ," Harry whispers before he grins. "I think I'm ready to crash finally."

"Good," Louis sighs while he's taking one last hit of the joint. "I don't think I can stay up much longer."

Harry pulls the window down, leaving it open just a bit, then he's settling down in the covers, Louis doing the same next to him.

Harry hesitates for a moment as he reaches over to rest his hand on Louis' stomach.

Louis smiles to himself and rests his hand on top of Harry's softly. "Touch me all you want. I really don't mind, love."

Harry grins and closes his eyes as he's settling into the pillow next to Louis' head. He breathes in the scent of Louis' hair and he can't help but relax completely by his side. He knows there's no one else he'd rather fall asleep beside now.

And Louis isn't surprised at all when he hears Harry snoring just seconds later; he knows Harry never sleeps enough anymore.

Louis sees Harry's phone lighting up once more on the nightstand by the bed and he's sighing immediately; he wonders why Harry has gotten so deeply involved with Darren... and he wonders how hard it'll be to remove Darren from Harry's life completely.


	8. Chapter 8

Louis is waking the next morning to the birds chirping outside his window, and he's smiling in an instant when he remembers where he is and who is asleep next to him.

He watches Harry sleeping so sound and he finds himself pushing his curls away from his eyes before he's leaning down and kissing the top of Harry's head.

He scoots out of the bed slowly and stands, yawning and stretching. He recalls everything he and Harry talked about the night before... and suddenly, his sober mind now wonders just who Darren Johnson really is... and why he chose Harry to pursue.

He slips on his Adidas sweats and then grabs a t-shirt before he's looking back at Harry asleep. Then, he's heading out of the room, closing the door quietly.

He walks to the kitchen and begins taking out several ingredients for breakfast. He puts on coffee and leans back against the counter as he's waiting for it to brew. And soon, he has thoughts racing through his mind again of Harry and Darren and their 'relationship'.

He begins cooking breakfast and he goes about it very quickly, hoping that the faster he moves the more he can stop the thoughts.

"Morning," Lottie is soon saying from the bottom of the stairs. "Jesus, how much did you make?"

Louis looks around the counter full of food and he shrugs, "I didn't know how much we'd need."

Lottie shakes her head and grins some, "where's your friend?"

"He's asleep," Louis replies while he's drinking his coffee slowly. 

"He's... he looks a lot different than I remember," Lottie says with a small smile, "he's hot. I don't know how you ended up with him..."

"Really?" Louis looks at her and asks, "Honestly, Lots...

"Well," Lottie shrugs and grins," it's true. And he's a model. Too bad he isn't straight..."

"Oh my god," Louis shakes his head and groans, Lottie laughing.

"Morning, babes," Jay smiles at them as she's walking in the kitchen, "you've already made breakfast..."

"Yeah, well, I got up pretty early," Louis shrugs and says softly.

"Harry still asleep?" Jay asks before she's pouring herself coffee.

Louis nods as Lottie begins again, "how did you end up with him really? I mean, doesn't he model for Gucci?"

"Yeah, he does, so?" Louis asks as he's looking at his sister.

She shrugs and grins, "I don't know... he just seems much too pretty for you..."

"Thanks so much, Lots," Louis nods, "fuck you, alright?"

"Is he... you know...," Lottie says with a wide grin, "like really good in bed..."

"Oh my god," Louis says instantly, Jay only snickering and covering her mouth. "Mum, do you hear your daughter over here? Honestly..."

"What? I'm just curious how he ended up with you of all people," Lottie teases and snickers before Louis is throwing a hand towel at her. "Oi, Stop it...."

"Something smells amazing," Harry speaks up from the doorway, his voice deep as he smiles in Louis' direction immediately.

"Uh, yeah, I made breakfast," Louis nods and says quietly. "I'll make you a plate, love..."

"Lou, you don't have to do that," Harry's chuckling and pushing his messy curls back. 

"Sit," Louis demands sharply as he points to the chair across from Lottie.

Harry grins, "yes, sir. Morning, Lottie. How are you?"

"I'm lovely, thanks," Lottie grins at him immediately. "How are you, Harry?"

Harry smiles some, his dimples deepening as he's watching Louis making his plate. "I'm doing well, thanks. I needed this getaway, honestly. I've been way too busy..."

"With school?" Jay is asking as she takes a seat beside Harry at the table.

Harry nods and smiles at her, "yeah, well, I've been working hard to try and pull up one of my grades... and honestly, I'm just taking too many classes to begin with. I've put too much pressure on myself to finish early..."

"You are younger than Louis, yet in the same grade," Jay is mentioning with a nod. "You've worked hard to get where you are, I'm guessing."

Harry manages to nod, his eyes meeting Louis' for a moment, "yeah... yeah, I suppose I have."

Louis sits Harry's plate on the table in front of him, meeting Harry's long gaze. Louis manages to smile, even though his cheeks are flushing. "Enjoy, Love."

"Thanks," Harry is almost whispering, and Louis wonders if maybe Harry has forgotten that his sister and mum are even present, given the way he is staring at him.

Louis clears his throat and does his best to smile before he's grabbing a plate of his own.

"So, what are the 2 of you going to do today?" Jay asks next as she's sipping her coffee.

"Not sure," Louis sighs while he's sitting down next to his sister and across from Harry, "we could just go drive around Donny..."

"We could," Harry nods and pretends to think, "or... perhaps... we could possibly go to a game."

Louis stops chewing and looks at Harry immediately.

"What kind of game?" Lottie asks cluelessly, Harry only snickering some. "Oh, did you mean football game?"

"I did," Harry nods and meets Louis' eyes again, "I mean, the Rovers do play at home today... it wouldn't hurt to go watch the game, right?"

"What?" Louis asks, his entire train of thought gone now.

"What?" Harry replies and grins some, "yeah, well, I don't get to visit Donny very often.... and I suppose seeing the Doncaster Rovers play has to be one of the best things to do while being here..."

"Louis, I think you have a keeper," Lottie is saying with a wide smile as she's looking between Harry and Louis, seeing the way they're staring at one another.

"You... you don't even like football," Louis states dumbfounded.

"Well, they have nice shorts," Harry is saying with a small shrug, Lottie and Jay giggling immediately. "They do have nice shorts."

"Basically, you're taking me to the game so you can check out the players?" Louis asks and laughs while he's shaking his head. 

"No," Harry starts, his eyes glancing at Jay, then Louis, "I thought we'd go because... it means something to you... and life is short, you know? We might as well enjoy ourselves."

Jay stares at Harry in disbelief before she's looking at her son again, her eyes wide. And Louis can only smile a little as he's exchanging looks with his mother.

"You... you don't have to do that for me, Harry," Louis manages to say, once again blown away by how blunt and honest Harry tends to be with him. 

"Well, we don't have to, but... I'd rather not waste the tickets," Harry shrugs and pretends to sigh before smiling a little.

"You've already bought the tickets?" Louis asks quickly. "When? What the..."

"Hey, no language in front of your mum," Harry speaks up and grins. 

"Louis, you should totally go," Lottie is saying next as she's looking from Louis to Harry. "Geez, why can't I find a guy like you?"

Harry grins a little, and Louis can see that he's blushing again. He finally nods when Harry's eyes are meeting his own again.

"I'd love to go," Louis manages to get out, though his voice breaks some.

Harry grins a bit and nods. "Good. I was hoping you wouldn't turn me down, Lou."

Jay begins asking questions about the stadium, when the game begins and ends, and Harry answers all of them with Louis' help... but Louis can't break his eyes away from Harry at all. Throughout breakfast his eyes never really fall far from the boy with the dimples. 

They spend hours playing football outside in Jay's garden again, then they both begin getting ready for the game. Louis settles for his usual Adidas pants and a t-shirt, while Harry puts on skinny jeans and a button up blouse once more.

Louis smirks and watches Harry staring at himself in the mirror. "It kills you to wear t-shirts, doesn't it?"

Harry immediately smiles and glances at Louis, "it doesn't, no. I just... feel more comfortable this way, I suppose."

Louis nods some, "well, you look incredible in t-shirts. Just... so you know..."

Harry's lip curls into a grin, "uh, thank you, I guess. Would you like me to change into a t-shirt..."

"What? No," Louis sighs with a laugh, "no. Don't. I just... meant because you haven't worn them... except when we've played football. You look incredible in everything you wear, love."

Harry smiles, "thank you, Lou. I appreciate that."

Louis watches Harry going over to the bed now to put on his Saint Laurent boots. Then, he sees Harry's phone light up on the nightstand.

Harry takes a deep breath, his eyes on the phone now.  He picks it up and places it in his back pocket before he's trying to smile at Louis.

"Shall we go?"

They park the rental car inside one of the parking garages, then they begin walking to the Rovers Stadium in downtown Doncaster. Louis watches Harry checking his phone for the second time and he wants to ask so many things.

"I'm sorry," Harry's speaking up, catching Louis off guard. "I... I'm not trying to be rude by checking it..."

"What? No," Louis says quickly, "don't apologise..."

"I'd just... rather not deal with his shit," Harry's managing to say lowly before he's sighing and pushing his curls back.

"Does he know exactly where you are?" Louis asks, his eyes studying Harry's face beside him.

"He does," Harry nods and stares off, "it's not like I try to keep it all a secret from him. I mean, what's the point?"

"I don't see why it even matters," Louis admits as he's shrugging his shoulders, "it's not like you and him are really serious. Why does he even have to know where you are?"

Harry closes his mouth and stays quiet now, and Louis knows that this is not what Harry wants to talk about. He quickly clears his throat and says, "so, did you happen to bring a joint with you?"

Harry's smirking immediately and looking at Louis. "Uh, yeah... if you think we can smoke it here..."

Louis waves him off, "it's alright. It's not too crowded here."

Harry points over to a parking garage, "let's just.... go smoke it there. I'd feel better about it..."

"There's cameras," Louis is chuckling.

"Not in the entire thing," Harry's saying and leading the way. "Just.... come on...."

Louis grins to himself and follows behind Harry as he's walking quickly up one level of cars. Louis does his best to keep up before he's groaning, "honestly, Harold, I don't have your long fucking legs, love..."

Harry's smiling and stopping in a corner close to the elevators, "right... forgot how tiny you were."

"Oh, shut up and light it," Louis is snapping, Harry only snickering as he's lighting the joint for them. Louis watches him taking a long hit before he's offering it to Louis.

Louis hits the joint immediately, then he's hitting it again, Harry only giving him a small grin.

"In a hurry?" Harry asks.

"No," Louis replies, his eyes meeting Harry's, "I just... really don't wanna get caught."

"I highly doubt you have to worry about that," Harry's saying with a small nod before he's hitting the joint again, Louis' blue eyes on him. "Unless the Doncaster police are worse than London's..."

"Not particularly, no," Louis replies as he's looking around the almost empty garage before glancing at Harry, "when... when did you buy these tickets?"

Harry blows out his hit, his eyes meeting Louis'. "really early... this morning. You... you talked so fondly of going to a game..."

"So, you just... decided to buy tickets after I told you that," Louis whispers and tries to nod before he's shaking his head in disbelief.

"Lou, I'm sorry, if it bothers you....," Harry's instantly saying, catching Louis off guard. "I... I probably should've asked you, yeah..."

"Woah, Harry," Louis is saying instantly, "it doesn't bother me at all, love. It really doesn't. I just... I'm having a hard time understanding why... why you would do such a thing. I mean... you hardly know me and all.. and that was a lot of money..."

Harry nods some and manages to smile, "well, I know you enough to know that I like you... and that I want you to do things that you enjoy."

Louis smirks some as he's staring at Harry. "Are you trying to impress me, Styles?"

Harry's dimples deepen and his cheeks flush when his eyes meet Louis'. "Not trying to impress you. Just... trying to make sure you have a great time while you're here at home again..."

"Those tickets couldn't be cheap," Louis is saying with a small laugh.

"It doesn't matter. Money is just money," Harry shrugs and looks at Louis.

"Yeah, says the hot and smart Gucci model," Louis nods and laughs some before he hits the joint.

"I like you," Harry says more seriously, Louis glancing at him, "and... I... I just wanted you to have a great time while you were here visiting. I mean... I wanted to spend the money on you, Lou. I did. It's not a big deal to me to do that for you. I'm sorry if it bothers you that I did..."

"Stop apologizing," Louis quickly speaks up, his eyes searching Harry's. He can see the vulnerability written all over Harry's face and he's almost positive that Harry has never opened up to anyone quite like this. "I'm... I'm incredibly thankful that you wanted to spend it on me, Harry. Really. I am honoured to go to the game with you. I truly am. Because... I fucking like you, too. But... you already knew that."

Harry smirks some as he's hitting the joint. He blows out the hit and says softly, "I'm not good at... at the relationship thing. I don't know how to be..."

"I'm guessing the realest relationship you've ever had is Darren," Louis states rather bluntly before he realises what he's said. He sighs, "sorry... I just say shit... I don't think before I say it..."

"It's cool," Harry grins some and gives Louis the joint, "uh, yeah... you'd be correct. Although, it's never been much of a relationship..."

"It's some sort of relationship," Louis states, Harry meeting his gaze. "It's definitely not a healthy one, though..."

Harry bites his lip and nods some before he shrugs a little. "Not every relationship is a good one, is it?"

Louis stares at Harry for a long pause, wanting to say so many things to him about Darren. About their relationship. About how obviously wrong Darren treats Harry. Louis knows that he wants to call attention to ALL the things that everyone else ignores. He wants Harry to see that nothing about his relationship with Darren is normal.

"You're much too good for him," Louis almost whispers, his tone serious. Harry looks back at him immediately. "The sooner you realise that, the better off you'll be, Harry. He doesn't fucking own you."

Harry stares off for a moment, his face showing how vulnerable he feels; he finally smiles some and looks back at Louis. "I think you've smoked enough. Let's get going, alright? I don't wanna ruin this day with shitty talk about him."

Louis tries to nod while Harry's putting out the joint. Then, Louis is following Harry back to the sidewalk and straight down the street.

They arrive in front of the stadium, Harry pulling out his phone while Louis is glancing around at the crowd of people.

He sees Harry reading his text messages slowly before he's sighing loudly and ignoring them completely; he opens up the tickets he purchased for the 2 of them, then he's glancing at Louis.

"You excited?" He asks, a small grin on his lips.

"I'm more excited to see where we're sitting," Louis laughs before they're stepping over to a security guard. He watches Harry showing his phone to the guard before the guard is nodding and allowing them to go through.

"Lifts are over to the right, Mr. Styles," the guard says and gives them a smile.

Harry thanks him, Louis looking confused as he's following behind Harry to the lift. "Where... where are we going?"

"Uh, I believe...," Harry starts, then stops while he glances at his phone again, "floor 4?"

Louis' smile fades as he's looking at Harry quickly. "Floor 4? Harry, that's only for..."

"Suites? Yeah, I know," Harry nods and places his phone in his pocket again. "I think this suite is about mid-field though... so the view should be amazing."

"You...," Louis stutters and finds it almost impossible to reply. How can Harry just spend that amount of money on him? Louis knows how much the suites are.

Harry starts to say something before the elevator doors are opening. He steps into the elevator, Louis following with an older couple behind him.

"So, it's all the alcohol we want," Harry is telling Louis as the older couple are talking amongst themselves. "Hope it's ok if I get wasted."

"I can't fucking believe you got a suite," Louis is leaning over and whispering to Harry now, his face serious.

Harry stares at him, a smile finally crossing his lips. "Do you hate me for it, Lou?"

Louis can't help but grin some. "Yes... let me show you later how much I hate you for this."

Harry smirks and gives Louis a wink before he's clearing his throat and crossing his arms, Louis only grinning beside him.

The older couple are stepping off on the same floor as Harry and Louis. Harry even tells them to have a good day as he and Louis are walking off. Louis can't help but chuckle to himself when he hears the elderly woman complimenting Harry's manners.

"Does everyone like you?" Louis is asking Harry as they're walking down the hall.

Harry snickers and shrugs. "Uh, most people do like me, yeah. I guess. The older generation tends to be astonished by me."

Louis smiles some as Harry is opening the door of their suite. The 2 of them walk in and look over the interior, taking in the beauty of it.

"Oh my god," Louis says out loud as he's walking over to the ceiling to floor windows. He can see every part of the football field from here, he thinks as he's trying to take it all in. All the seats... the entire stadium is in front of him.

"I think that lunch is also included," Harry's saying next while he's looking over a piece of paper in his hand.

Louis glances back at him, and he suddenly loses all sense of control; he walks over to Harry, and Harry's only closing his mouth and looking back at Louis immediately.

Louis doesn't say anything at all; instead, he stares at Harry for a long pause, searching the beautiful green eyes in front of him. And before Louis can talk himself out of it, he's leaning over and crushing his lips into Harry's, the 2 of them getting lost in one another once more.

Louis caresses Harry's side gently as he's pulling away and smiling some. "I... just want to say thank you. This is... fucking insane..."

"Why's it so insane?" Harry's asking with a small smile. "This is what you wanted."

"I didn't want you to spend that kind of money on me," Louis says quietly, "I mean, you really didn't have to..."

"I know that I didn't have to," Harry's replying, "but... this meant something to you. I just wanted to make you happy."

"You're fucking amazing," Louis tells Harry, his voice serious, "really."

Harry shrugs some and smiles, "I'd do it for you even if we were only best friends, Lou. Wouldn't get a suite for you, but..."

Louis smirks and says softly, "thanks. I just... don't want you to think you have to try and impress me."

"I don't think that at all," Harry's giving Louis a confused smile, "I know I don't have to impress you. It's... it's more the fact that... well, I have it and... and I want to spend it on you... because you deserve to enjoy your life, too. And I just wanna help you enjoy it."

Louis closes his mouth and manages to smile some before Harry's grinning and shaking his head.

"I probably shouldn't have smoked," he giggles lowly, Louis only snickering. "We should order lunch."

And after the 2 of them have eaten, they're sitting on the edge of their seats watching the game unfold on the field down below. 

Louis will shout and curse every few minutes while Harry only watches him, a smile on his face that can be seen even in his eyes. Harry already knows that he has fallen in love with this blue eyed man from Doncaster. 

Louis finishes off another beer while he's still shouting and throwing his hands up almost obnoxiously, and Harry can't help but giggle beside him now. Louis finally notices and he's grinning at Harry.

"I take my football rather seriously," he says in a quieter tone.

"I can see that," Harry nods and giggles again, "it's rather adorable actually."

"Adorable? Why do you insist on using such degrading terms for me..."

"Let's get a selfie," Harry's quickly saying as he pulls out his phone and stands up.

Louis chuckles, "I'd be honoured. Would you mind taking one of me as well? In front of the window? I'll probably send it to mum..."

"Yeah," Harry smiles at Louis before they're both standing in front of the window now. Harry holds the phone out far enough to get the 2 of them in the shot.

Louis only grins widely as Harry takes several photos in a row; and then, he kisses Louis' cheek for the very last photo.

"Ok," Harry's saying and looking at Louis, "stand right here and I'll take your photo."

Louis nods some and looks back out at the field while Harry's moving back some. He manages to get Louis' entire body in the picture frame... and he even grins a little when he sees Louis staring off at the field and not paying any mind to him.

He takes a photo of Louis just like this, knowing that he will spend hours staring at it. His eyes look up from his phone, "uh, ok, look back at me..."

Louis' eyes meet Harry's and he's smiling instantly; Louis knows there's absolutely no forcing a smile when it comes to Harry.

Harry takes a few different ones and then gives Louis his phone to look over the photos. Louis only grins while he's looking through them.

"Wow... this is really amazing," Louis says quietly. "I can't believe I'm getting to experience this, you know?"

Harry manages to nod some, "You would've done this later on in life, I know... I just wanted you to be able to experience it while you're still young."

Louis shakes his head as he's smiling and staring down at the field again. "You have an incredible heart, Harry. You truly do. I hope you realise that... unless all this is really to impress me..."

"I'm not trying to impress you at all," Harry laughs some and sighs, "I'm sorry if it seems that way. I... honestly just thought that it'd be fun to do this with you while we were here. That's it. I... I don't see spending money as such a big deal when it's... someone I care about."

Louis closes his mouth as his eyes meet Harry's again. He smiles some, "we barely know each other..."

"Yeah," Harry laughs and nods some, "it's... it's a bit weird... how much I... I already want to be around you. It's kind of... nerve wracking."

Louis doesn't smile as he's replying, "the feeling's mutual, love. I assure you."

Harry stares at Louis for a long pause before he's managing to smile and look back at the field. Louis does the same, though his mind is more on Harry now instead of the game in front of him.

"I can't believe he fucking missed," Louis is sighing loudly just a few moments later when the Rovers' goalie missed the ball. Harry's only snickering beside Louis again while he's finishing another beer. "Honestly... I feel like I could've moved faster than that..."

"Maybe you could've," Harry agrees and nods, "Jesus, your goalie is shit this year, I'll give you that."

"Cheers," Louis smirks and drinks down his beer. He sits the empty bottle down and sighs, "the entire team is rather shitty this season either way... so, I don't expect this game to go too well."

Harry smiles and pushes his curls back again before he's sitting up some. "I'm guessing you still keep up with their scores even in London."

"Of course," Louis replies with a grin, "On my phone."

"Technology is fucking amazing," Harry smiles before his phone is vibrating in his lap again. He sighs and tries to grin, "it's rather annoying as well."

"It can be," Louis nods, knowing that Darren hasn't stopped texting Harry since they've been here. "Why... why don't you just turn it off for a bit? Give yourself a break."

Harry licks his lips as he's picking up the phone. He stares at the screen for a moment before he's shutting off the iPhone and smiling back at Louis.

"Done."

Louis grins and reaches for Harry's hand, taking it into his. Harry only stares at him as Louis' fingers are running over Harry's differently painted nails while he's saying, "don't stress yourself over someone like him, Harry. Don't."

Harry almost smirks before he's trying to nod some. "I know that I shouldn't, but..."

"Then, why do you?" Louis manages to ask, his tone only filled with curiosity. "I... I don't get it..."

"You've drank a lot, Lou. Let's not do this right now," Harry tries to laugh before he's glancing out the oversized window again, "they're about to score..."

Louis glances at the field immediately, and sure enough, he sees his team scoring the second goal of the game before he's shouting and cheering.

Harry only watches him, a smile across his lips while he's studying Louis' face, seeing the happiness radiating off of him; Harry knows now that doing this for Louis was the right decision.

"Oh my god, they might win this after all," Louis is laughing when he meets Harry's gaze.

"Maybe so," Harry shrugs and grins some before he's pushing his hair back again. He finishes off another beer before he's picking up the alcohol menu from the table in front of him.

Louis smirks and says, "don't you think we've both had enough to drink?"

Harry shrugs his shoulders and tries to smile innocently. "I'm still quite capable of thinking responsibly, thanks. Now, perhaps after some vodka..."

"Vodka," Louis nods and laughs before he's shaking his head. He watches Harry ordering the drink before he's saying quietly, "you don't chase it with anything? Just drink it straight, yeah?"

Harry grins, "I'm used to it, yeah. That's probably a bad thing..."

"Means you like your alcohol," Louis smirks and gives Harry a wink. "I've gotten rather wasted on vodka before."

"As have I," Harry chuckles and glances back at the field. "Oh my god! They're going to score again. No fucking way."

Louis is cheering as he stands up and watches his team scoring a goal. He grins back at Harry and Harry's dimples are showing as he watches him.

"I think they've got this one," Louis states and almost laughs. "Oh my god... Harry, this has been fucking amazing, love. Thank you."

Harry's dimples deepen as he's shrugging innocently. "It's... it's the least I can do, Lou."

When the game is finally over, Louis and Harry are taking a few last photos and then leaving the suite. Louis doesn't stop going on about his teams' win the entire lift ride. 

Harry smiles even more while he's listening to Louis talking so excitedly about the game; he doesn't regret doing this for him at all.

They eat at a nearby pub and talk about the day. Harry only laughs and watches Louis' face as he's talking so excitedly about his team.

Harry even finishes off more liquor before the 2 of them are leaving some time later. Louis makes sure to purchase some beers before arriving back at his mum's.

Harry's giggling at something Louis has said while he's stepping out of the SUV. He sees that all the lights are off in the home and he's glancing at Louis.

"We weren't gone that long, were we?" He's asking at once.

Louis smirks and glances at his phone, "no. Mum is out for a while. She's working at the hospital... and Lottie's at her friend's place tonight. Daisy and Phoebe are with my aunt. They'll all be back before we leave in the morning. I'm sure my mum will make breakfast for us."

"So, the house is ours," Harry's saying with a small nod before he's grinning at Louis. 

"What are you thinking, Styles?" Louis shakes his head and laughs, "it can't be good."

"No, nothing bad," Harry's shrugging while they're walking to the door. He watches Louis unlocking the door and he says quietly, "just thought about... maybe fucking on your mum's patio."

Louis glances up at Harry within a second, and Harry is smirking back at him. "You thought about what?"

"What?" Harry's asking with a small grin. "Come on... she won't be back for a while, right?"

"Are you fucking insane?" Louis asks before he's almost laughing, "my mum probably has security cameras everywhere."

Harry nods and shrugs, "maybe that's a bad idea then..."

"Yeah," Louis nods and shakes his head. "Honestly, Harold..."

"Perhaps in the back garden in the trees," Harry's saying as they walk inside the home.

Louis chuckles as he's closing the door behind them, then switching on the lights by the staircase. Harry's staring into the dark hallway by the stairs however, and Louis notices how still he's gotten. He can't help but wonder if Harry is intimidated by the dark as he stares at him.

"Hey," Louis states softly.

Harry looks back at him immediately and tries to smile, "what should we do now?"

"Maybe we should head to bed," Louis says as he begins following Harry up the stairs.

"Bed?" Harry laughs, "you have beer in your hand. Come on, Lou. You must've had something in mind, seeing as we leave tomorrow around noon..."

Louis tries not to grin at Harry as they're going in his room. He sits the beers on the bed and watches Harry undressing now. He doesn't want to intentionally stare, but Harry makes it so fucking easy.

"Did your mum work a lot of nights when you lived at home?" Harry's speaking up, catching Louis off guard.

"Uh, yeah, she did for a few years," Louis answers and pulls on his sweatpants. "Only when I was older though."

"And you never had parties here?" Harry asks with a wink. 

"I didn't do that to my mum," Louis smiles and nods, "yeah. I was always more responsible than that... at least most of the time."

"Right," Harry's chuckling and nodding. "I... I actually believe that."

"Do you?" Louis asks with a small grin. 

Harry shrugs, "you're very outgoing, yeah. But... you have always come off as very mature."

"You think so?" Louis asks with an amused look. "Really?"

"When I first met you, I thought that, yeah," Harry replies, his face serious. "Just... something about the way you looked... talked..."

"You're talking about when you met me at the bookstore, yeah?" Louis asks with a small smile.

Harry nods some before he's biting his lip and trying to smile. "I'm like... way too drunk. Let's, uh... play video games or something, I don't know..."

Louis chuckles as Harry's pulling on his black sweatshirt over his bare chest. He pulls his curls free and runs his fingers through them multiple times... and Louis is sure that it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"You wanna see my old treehouse?" Louis decides to ask after he's cleared his throat.

Harry's grinning as he's fixing his sweatpants now, "you have a treehouse out there? I didn't see it."

Louis nods, "hidden in the trees, yeah. It's by the fence on the back of the property actually. Shall we go see it?"

Harry's shrugging and agreeing and Louis only grins while he's pulling on his sweatshirt. He's grabbing a beanie from his bag and putting it over his hair, then he's picking up his phone and turning to Harry.

Harry puts his phone in the pocket of his sweats before he's grabbing his pack of cigarettes. He ushers for Louis to lead the way downstairs and Louis only grins and picks up the beer from his bed.

Louis leads them out into the woods, Harry following behind him smiling to himself. He listens to Louis going on about how old the treehouse is, and Harry can't help but grin more when they're finally stopping in front of it.

"It's cute," Harry's snickering at Louis, "has a roof, I see."

"It's a fucking good one, too," Louis states and points to the ladder. "Wanna go first?"

"Uh," Harry's chuckling, "are we sure it's safe..."

"It's fine," Louis grins, "I'll go first."

Harry watches Louis climbing the ladder with ease and he doesn't want to admit how turned on he is just by watching him; why does he have to love everything that Louis does?

"Come on up, love," Louis is calling to Harry.

Harry's grinning to himself and beginning up the ladder, questioning why he's let Louis Tomlinson talk him into this.

He climbs into the little room of the treehouse and sees Louis in the other corner smiling.

"It's rather small," Louis whispers and snickers before he's looking out the small window.

Harry picks up some leaves and throws them out of the window opening as he's smirking at Louis. "It's nice. I quite like it actually."

"Do you?" Louis asks, his face serious as he's watching Harry sitting down across from him.

Harry shrugs and pulls his hood over his curls again, his dimples showing when his eyes meet Louis'. "I never had one growing up. So, yeah, this is amazing."

"Not enough trees where you lived?" Louis asks with a smile as he pulls the beer can from his sweatshirt pocket.

Harry grins, pulling a joint from his cigarette box. "My dad left when I was 10. He never built me one."

Louis licks his lips and manages to nod some. "I understand. Mine left when... when I was 3 actually."

Harry glances back at Louis, "wow. I'm... I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," Louis grins some, "uh, it was for the best... for my mum. For me. She really was better off. Now she has an amazing lad... and he's been like my step dad since I was almost 10."

"Did he build this?" Harry asks.

Louis nods and smiles, "yeah. And even my sisters have used it. It's definitely lasted."

Harry nods some and hits the joint before he's watching the wind blowing through the trees just outside the treehouse.

"Do you get along with your dad?" Louis asks, Harry glancing at him.

"Oh yeah," Harry nods and grins, "he lives in the US. I have visited him a few times. And he and I text a lot."

"And your mum?" Louis whispers. "When'd you last see her?"

Harry's eyes meet his, his face falling serious. "I saw my mum just a few months ago."

"She's not that far from you though. I'm sure she wants to see you more often than that," Louis tries to laugh.

"I've had too much going on to go to Holmes Chapel," Harry's saying quietly as he's looking away.

Louis reaches over and takes the joint from Harry, Harry only watching him. Louis takes a long hit, his eyes still studying Harry across from him.

"You're scared to tell her the truth about everything, aren't you?" Louis decides to blurt out. He watches Harry's face go pale and he knows that he's right. "She loves you, Harry. You don't have to tell her absolutely everything either..."

"Lou, I want to drop out of school," Harry is speaking up instantly, his eyes meeting Louis' again. "I... I want so badly to tell her that... that I want to quit... all of it. Every fucking thing I'm involved in. But... I'm not a failure... and I don't want to just walk away..."

"Harry," Louis says louder, "if you need to take a step away from school, or anything else, then fucking do it. It'll be there when you've had a break. God, don't burn yourself out for your career, or your schooling. It's not worth it..."

"I know that," Harry's sighing and rubbing his face.

"He's not worth it either, Harry," Louis states, his tone completely serious as his eyes meet Harry's again. "Alright? No one is worth losing themselves for. And if he's the reason you wanna leave school..."

"He's not," Harry tries to smile as he shakes his head. "I mean, he isn't the only reason. Just feel like I've taken on too much..."

Louis nods, his eyes staying on Harry's face. "Maybe you should take a step back from... from doing so many classes at once. Or maybe modeling..."

Harry shrugs and looks out the small window, "Maybe I should just move to New York, right?"

"You could," Louis whispers, "there's brilliant schools there. I'm sure they'd love to have you."

"I'm on scholarship here," Harry states, his eyes meeting Louis'. "And... I'm not against paying for my schooling... I have enough to pay for it, I'm sure. But... it just seems wrong to walk out of a full scholarship."

"I get that," Louis states softly, "but... if you're incredibly stressed here with everything... maybe it's for the best. I don't know."

Harry manages to grin a little, "life isn't meant to be easy. I'll... I'll be fine. I'll most likely not pick up extra classes though."

Louis hits the joint and nods slowly before he's offering it back to Harry. "I'm great now. Thanks. I'm not sure I can even think straight now... fucking hell..."

"You're not straight," Harry jokes with him as he laughs at his own pun. "Sorry..."

"It's fine," Louis shakes his head as he smiles.

"When'd you know anyways?" Harry asks quietly, Louis looking back. "That you liked guys? Like how old exactly?"

"Uh, I was like... 10 or 11," Louis states in almost a whisper.

Harry nods some, "I was 8."

Louis grins instantly, "wow, that young?"

"Yeah, well, I had a crush on a guy at school," Harry shrugs and smiles, "I was young... but I knew what I liked."

Louis laughs some and shakes his head before he's hearing the wind blowing harder. He sighs and glances back at Harry, seeing his eyes on him already.

"You know, there's probably spiders in here, and I'm really not fond of spiders at all," Harry's saying as he sits up some and looks around. 

Louis snickers, "that shouldn't surprise me at all... because that just seems like you..."

"Shut up," Harry states before he laughs, "Jesus... I'm not like... a complete diva or something..."

"You're very much a fucking diva," Louis chuckles, "honestly. I can't believe you don't think you are..."

Harry shrugs and leans back against the wall again, "I... I tend to think that being a diva means you're like... stuck up or something... or self centered...."

"What?" Louis laughs, "uh, no. You can be a diva without being stuck up. Jesus... Harry, you're like the most friendliest person in the fucking world, alright? But... you are still high maintenance, love. Very high maintenance."

"I'm not really," Harry shakes his head and smirks, "I'm not. I like fashion... I like jewelry. So what? I'm not normal, and that's ok. But... I'm not really high maintenance."

"Look at what you drive," Louis states, Harry's eyes meeting his again, "look at your fucking home, Harry. What the fuck are those? Not exactly low maintenance..."

Harry bites his lip and manages to nod some, feeling the rush of his reality overtaking him again; Louis is so good at making him forget what's going on around him... but Louis is also great at bringing him crashing back to all of the hell around him.

"They're not mine, Lou. You know that," Harry manages to mumble without meeting Louis' gaze. "I mean, I know I don't have to have a place that fucking massive..."

"Then, why don't you just get the courage to move the fuck out, Harold?" Louis just blurts out next, Harry's mouth closing as his eyes meet Louis' again. "He's not making you live there..."

He looks away again, silence filling the treehouse.

Louis sighs finally and speaks up, "I'm... I shouldn't have said that. Sorry..."

Harry looks back at him and nods slowly, "you smoked too much, I'm guessing?"

"I...," Louis starts and sighs before he's watching the rain beginning to fall on the trees outside around them. "I... I know that I ask a fucking lot when I'm high... but... Harry, I want to get you like no one has before... and I want to understand why you are the way you are, alright?"

Harry licks his lips, his eyes studying Louis closely. "I... I can't just... open up... about everything..."

Louis doesn't break eye contact with Harry, "why is that?"

Harry finally looks away and down to the rings on his hand, his mind trying to figure out how to answer Louis now; he swear he can feel his own heart breaking in his chest. 

"There's no guarantee you'll stay, Lou," Harry's managing to get out finally, his green eyes meeting the blue again.

Louis closes his mouth while he's studying Harry's face closely. He knows that there's so much that Harry has kept inside... and he knows Harry wants to let it all out. But Louis can't force him to talk.

"I'm... I'm not going anywhere," Louis stutters, "alright? Unless... unless you want me gone... I don't ever plan on leaving your side now..."

Harry doesn't smile; instead, he only stares at Louis confused. "How... how could you want that though? You barely know me... really..."

"There's a lot I don't know about you, yeah," Louis nods and agrees with him, "but... I'm not particularly bothered by that. In fact, I believe that we all have our own demons we have to face... and if we aren't ready to share them with someone close to us..."

Harry closes his mouth, his eyes finally breaking away from Louis' again. He doesn't want to admit how much he'd rather be talking about anything else. Harry isn't the best at hiding his emotions and he can tell that he's much too readable to Louis.

"... Eventually we'll be ready to talk about those demons," Louis finishes softly. "But... my point is, I fucking care about you a lot. Regardless of anything you've done before tonight... regardless of Darren Johnson..."

"How though?" Harry's interrupting, "how can you care about someone like me? I mean, Lou, I know that you like me... a lot... but how can you? I'm really not a good person... and we barely know each other..."

"Harry, I'm not everyone else," Louis states sharply, Harry closing his mouth again, "and I can't pretend to be everyone else with you. I care about you and want to understand you. I... I can't just pretend that... that the relationship between you and Darren is anything but toxic. He's not good for you... and I don't understand why you put yourself through hell for him... unless you do care about him deep down..."

Harry shakes his head and looks out at the rain again, "it's not like that, Lou..."

He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and he's pulling it out to see a text from his friend Victoria at university. He looks back at Louis. 

"It's... it's about the symphony concert coming up. The fall concert. We've been rehearsing in Performing Arts, but... we have extra rehearsals as well. A girl I know that plays the violin... she was reminding me about the rehearsal after school tomorrow."

Louis nods, his eyes wider, "you play in the school symphony? Really? I... I had no fucking clue..."

Harry manages to smile some, "I did tell you that I played piano."

Louis licks his lips and almost smirks. "You're telling me you're that fucking good though?"

"Well, we don't do these shows a lot," Harry shrugs and almost laughs, "it's mainly plays that the school does. The orchestra... we do like 4-5 concerts a year. But we practice almost year round. I... I almost set out this year. Kinda wish I would've."

Louis laughs and shakes his head. "Wow. Are you just great at everything?"

"Uh," Harry snickers and almost blushes before he's glancing back at Louis, "I... I have always enjoyed playing... but yeah, it's not something I do a lot of now."

"You really do have a lot going on," Louis states in almost a whisper. "If... if you need a break, you know you're allowed to take one..."

Harry grins some, "I know. I... I don't plan on doing another concert for a while actually."

"So, when is it?" Louis asks.

"Uh, this coming Friday," Harry states and looks back at Louis. "The sad part is... I've had so much going on that I... I forgot about it, too. It slipped my mind, I'm  really sorry I didn't tell you..."

"It's fine," Louis laughs, "it's... it's been a crazy few days, yeah?"

Harry nods, "yeah."

They both see lightening flash and Louis is grinning over at Harry while the thunder sounds around them. "Maybe we should go in?"

"Uh, yeah, that's probably the best idea," Harry's chuckling while he watches Louis scooting over to the small opening in the floor.

The 2 of them slowly climb down the ladder, then they're hurrying to the house, the rain coming down quickly on them.

Harry's giggling a little when they finally make it inside. "I'm soaked."

"Same," Louis laughs as he looks back at Harry.

Harry starts pulling his sweatshirt off slowly as Louis is watching him almost too intently. Harry isn't bothered by it at all, though. He only grins at Louis while he's pushing his curls back. 

Louis pulls his sweatshirt off next, bundling it up between his hands as he feels the tension between he and Harry growing. He's aware that Harry wants him just as bad as he wants Harry.

Harry steps over, his hand touching Louis' stomach so gently. Louis glances down at his hand, then back to Harry's face.

Harry's eyes search Louis' and it's almost too much for Louis; he can see no mask left on Harry's face.

Harry bites his lip before he's leaning into Louis, his eyes staring down at Louis' lips.

Louis closes his eyes the moment Harry's lips have met his. He can't even describe the feeling that overcomes him when Harry kisses him. It's almost like every nerve in his body suddenly becomes alive again. He's positive that no one's lips should taste this good.

Harry's slowly wrapping his arms around Louis' waist and pulling him closer while he's kissing his lips slowly and softly. Harry needs Louis to feel this; he needs Louis to be able to tell how much is behind this kiss.... because Harry can't find it in himself to say what he wants to say to Louis. He only hopes that Louis can feel everything that he can't say yet.

He finally pulls away, his eyes meeting Louis' again, "this... this has been really great, Lou. Thanks... for bringing me here."

Louis manages to nod as he's trying to smile again. "It was my pleasure, love. Really. I've rather enjoyed it. I'm quite glad I brought you now after today and all..."

Harry chuckles some as he follows Louis upstairs again. He feels his phone vibrating again, and he's sighing before he sees a text from Darren... again.

He doesn't tell Louis, however. He only locks his phone once more and tries to pretend that Darren doesn't exist at the moment... though that seems to be impossible for Harry.

The two of them stay up for hours talking in Louis' bed and finishing off the beers that he bought. And the next morning is coming far too quickly for Harry.

He wakes up and looks at the clock on the nightstand, realizing that he and Louis must've finally fallen asleep around 3 or 4 am. It's 15 after 9 now and Harry's sitting up almost immediately. 

He looks at Louis sleeping sound beside him, in nothing but his boxers. Harry grins before he even means to. The sight of Louis asleep like this is too much. He wants to wake up to this sight every single morning.

He starts climbing out of the bed rather slowly, trying not to wake Louis in the process. Louis doesn't even budge as Harry's crawling around his feet at the end of the bed.

Harry pulls on a pair of his sweatpants before picking up his phone from Louis' nightstand. He stares at Louis for a moment, then he's trying to tip toe out of the room as quietly as possible.

He closes the door behind him and goes across the hall to the bathroom first. After going, he's flushing the toilet and washing his hands, his eyes finally looking at his own reflection in the mirror.

Harry isn't exactly sure who he sees anymore; this doesn't even look like him. He's tired and exhausted and he can definitely see all of that on his face.

He sighs and unlocks his phone, opening Darren's messages again. He stands back against the counter as he's finally answering all of the texts Darren has sent since Harry's been here.

He takes a deep breath and only writes that he'll be back today, and that he'll call Darren when he's back home. Then, he's locking the phone again and opening the bathroom door.

He sees Lottie standing in the hallway and she smiles instantly at him, "morning, Harry. How are you?"

"I'm... fabulous, thanks," Harry's smiling at her, "how are you?"

"Great, thanks," she tells him before she's grinning and going in the bathroom after him, "mum has cooked, by the way, if you're hungry."

"Cool, thanks," Harry grins and runs his fingers through his curls again as he's heading downstairs slowly. He's not particularly that hungry, but coffee is a must for Harry this morning.

Harry walks in the kitchen, looking around for Jay. He doesn't see her anywhere and he wonders if maybe she has already went to bed from her shift at the hospital.

He notices the food on the stove and he's grinning some before he's looking in the cabinets for a coffee cup. He pulls one out and then starts making a cup in Jay's Keurig. 

He stands back against the counter and pulls his phone out while he's waiting. Zayn has texted him again and Harry's reading his message.

"He texted me this morning. Idk why he thinks I'm with you lads," Zayn's message reads. Harry sighs and almost groans out loud; of course Darren would bother Zayn.

He takes the coffee once it's done and walks outside, pulling his cigarettes from his sweatpants. He stares at Darren's name before finally calling him. 

He takes a deep breath and looks out through the trees as it begins to ring. He walks slowly down the patio steps into the garden, his heart racing in his chest again as he waits.

"Hey," Darren's voice finally comes on the line.

"Hey," Harry says quietly and pulls out a joint, "why are you so concerned with where I am? I told you I’d be gone all weekend...”

"Why couldn't you just text me?" Darren asks, his tone soft. "Jesus, I... I was worried about you."

Harry doesn't believe that for a second. He sighs as he's lighting the joint and taking a hit of it. He blows out the smoke and says lowly, "you knew I was fine, I'm sure. You... you don't have to fucking text me all the time, you know. God, I... I need space, too..."

"Space," Darren says in almost a whisper, "you get plenty of that now, I would say. You have an exam tomorrow, Harry. Have you even studied?"

"I've studied some, yeah," Harry does his best to lie. "I mean, I know enough of the shit. I'll be fine..."

"Right... and what happens if you fail?" Darren asks at once, Harry rolling his eyes. "You know I don't mind helping you, but..."

"I'll study tonight, don't worry," Harry interrupts him as he's hitting the joint again. "Jesus..."

"What time will you be back?" Darren asks next, and Harry somehow knew that he would.

Harry bites his lip, his eyes looking back at the house now, his mind only filled with Louis... and his family. Harry's sure that Louis has no idea how much this trip has meant to him.

"Harry," Darren is saying louder, bringing Harry back to reality once more.

"Uh, I'll... I'll be back by at least 3 or 4," Harry states quietly. 

"Good... I'll see you later tonight... at my place, yeah?" Darren asks, his tone much more serious now... and Harry knows this isn’t a question at all. He closes his mouth and stands still. The line stays completely quiet for several seconds as Harry is pondering what to say; he knows what Darren expects of him.

"Yeah," Harry finally manages to reply, though he feels as if he has to fight to get it out. 

"Can't wait to see you, H," Darren tells him in almost a whisper. 

Harry hears the back door opening and he sees Lottie smiling back at him.

"I've gotta go," Harry tells Darren at once. "I'll text you later."

Darren is telling him bye but Harry ends the call and breathes a sigh of relief before he's hitting the joint again.

"My brother was looking for you," Lottie calls to Harryand laughs as she's walking out to him in the garden. "Told him you were probably out here..."

"Yeah, had to... to talk to one of my professors," Harry replies and manages to smile at her. "I have too much shit going on."

Lottie laughs and nods as she's sipping her coffee. She smiles again at Harry, "that's how I feel about fucking work."

Harry smirks and sees Louis coming out the back door next... and Harry's smiling before he even means to. He's not sure why Louis has such an effect on him... but Harry's thankful that he does.

Louis' eyes meet Harry's and he's grinning as he's slowly making his way out to his sister and Harry.

"You could've woken me, you know," Louis says with a radiant smile, and Harry can't help but notice how it even reaches into his eyes.

"You were sleeping too well," Harry shrugs as his dimples show again. "Good morning, by the way."

"Morning," Louis chuckles, "uh, care to join me for breakfast? I'm assuming you haven't eaten?"

Harry exhales his hit of the joint and grins some. "You assume correct. I'd love to join you, yeah."

"May I?" Lottie asks Louis with a smile.

"Sure, why the fuck not," Louis shakes his head and pretends to groan as he's heading back to the house, Harry and Lottie following behind him.

They sit at the table a few moments later, Lottie and Louis both listening as Harry is telling them about different symphony concerts and different stage plays that he's been a part of.

And while Louis sits and listens to this beautiful man talking beside him, he begins to wonder just how much more there is to learn about Harry Styles... and how can he possibly expect to know everything about him? Harry's so young, and yet he's already been a part of so much.

Around noon, Harry and Louis are boarding a plane back to London and saying goodbye to Doncaster. And as they're touching down in London again, Harry can already feel his mood shifting completely; he doesn't want to be here... living this reality.

He can't help but think of Doncaster while they await to exit the plane. Harry felt so much peace being with Louis and his family... and he hadn't even noticed how tense he was until now. But he's back here... in London... with Darren Johnson. And suddenly, Harry wishes he could go back to Doncaster... and stay there for the rest of his life with Louis.


	9. Chapter 9

_***read at your own discretion. Some parts deal with sensitive subjects and may be too much for some.***_

When Friday evening comes, Harry and Louis are both dressed for the symphony concert; Harry's sure his nerves will get the better of him before this night is over.

You ready?" Harry's asking Louis as soon as he's pulled on his scarf. He looks his curls over in the mirror once more and grins some. "Damn... my hair is amazing today..."

"It is rather pretty," Louis smirks, "yeah, let's get going. I assume you're driving."

"I am."

"You're not... like too high..." Louis manages to ask Harry.

Harry only smiles at him, "I'm fine, Lou. Would you rather I let you drive?"

"I trust you," Louis states and smiles some as he's fixing his suit and following Harry out of the room. "Any after parties?"

"No," Harry almost snorts, "uh, I'll most likely come home and do absolutely nothing before crashing. I've gotta study this weekend."

"The exam on Monday," Louis says out loud as he recalls the exam they will have in their second class. "Yeah, I've gotta study as well."

"Perhaps we're a bad influence on one another, Lou," Harry winks at him as he's opening the garage and leading the way to his Ferrari once more. "Would you like to drive?"

"You can drive," Louis laughs and climbs in the passenger seat. He watches Harry getting in and starting the car, then he's putting his phone in the cup holder and glancing at Louis. 

"I'm a little nervous," Harry almost whispers and laughs some, "I have practiced a million times it seems and... I've played in front of people. It still makes me nervous though..."

"You're gonna do wonderful, I'm sure," Louis reassures him, his hand gently touching Harry's leg. He looks Harry over in his suit, his top few buttons on the silk shirt underneath are undone, of course. But Harry looks truly incredible right now. "I can't wait to hear you."

Harry smiles before he means to, then leans over and kisses Louis' lips, Louis completely getting lost in the kiss. He places his hand on the back of Harry's neck and pulls him into him more and Harry almost moans as their tongues intertwine once more.

Harry finally pulls back, a small smile creeping over his face when his eyes meet Louis', "yeah, we definitely should've fucked before this..."

Louis can't help but snicker as Harry's slowly pulling out of the drive. He listens to Harry talk about the concert the entire drive to the concert hall. He grins and feels his and Harry's excitement growing as they get closer and closer.

Harry smokes another joint, then he's stepping out of his car at the back of the concert hall; he looks at the back door and then Louis. 

"Uh, just follow me in here. You can stand on the side of the stage, if you'd like," Harry's telling him. "I doubt anyone will care."

Louis nods and fixes his jacket again before he's walking with Harry over to the door. He looks up at Harry and says softly, "Darren's gonna be in here, right?"

Harry stops for a moment and looks back at Louis. "He's the conductor, yeah. I... I thought that you knew that..."

Louis tries to smile as he nods some. "Come on... don't be late."

Harry stares at Louis for a long pause, then he's walking to the back door again; and Louis is thankful that Harry didn't say anything else. He already feels bad enough for even asking.

He follows Harry to the backstage room, seeing a lot of others from school; Harry's greeting one of his friends as soon as they've entered the room.

Louis smiles and watches Harry hugging the young woman with brunette locks. He almost laughs as he watches the 2 of them looking over Harry's light colored nails.

"Lou, this is Victoria," Harry introduces them, "Victoria, this is Louis Tomlinson."

"I've heard a lot about you," Victoria grins and shakes Louis' hand. "Harry talks about you a lot."

"Does he now?" Louis smirks and glances at Harry, "uh, I'm honored."

"You should be," Harry says and gives him a wink. "Victoria plays violin and she's fucking amazing."

"I'm not that great," she laughs, "but, thanks. Harry's really good as well. Especially for someone who hardly ever plays anymore."

Harry shrugs and looks at Louis, "want me to play something for you before we start?"

"Are... are you allowed to?" Louis asks at once, his face falling serious. Of course he wants to hear Harry play.

"He isn't," Darren is soon speaking up from the doorway, "we have to go on in less than 45 minutes. The auditorium doors are already open."

Harry's eyes stay on Darren's, and Louis can't help but look between them.

"Right... guess I didn't realize what time it was," Harry finally states, a small hint of sarcasm in his voice. "My bad."

Louis licks his lips as Victoria begins talking to him about university; but Louis can't listen to her. All he can think about is how much he wants to punch the fucking shit out of the professor that's standing across the room.

Louis stands backstage as he listens to Darren addressing the entire orchestra not too far away from him. He doesn't really listen to the words that come out of his mouth; he's only thinking how full of shit this man is. He doesn't really believe the motivational speech he's giving.

Harry doesn't really look to be listening, Louis thinks as he glances at him. He notices that Harry seems very anxious though... and Louis hopes that Harry can calm down before going onstage.

He's soon walking to the side of the stage with Harry and everyone else. Harry takes a deep breath, and Louis is grabbing his hand.

"You've got this, love. I assure you," Louis tells him with a small grin.

Harry's dimples show again as he's pushing his curls back. "Thanks."

He leans over and kisses Louis' lips, not caring if anyone watches. He grins as he's pulling away, his eyes seeing Darren standing not too far away... and his eyes are already on Harry's.

Louis listens to the announcer speaking, and they are soon ushering for everyone to take their places. Louis gives Harry a thumbs up and watches him walking to the black grand piano mid-stage.

Louis' face grows serious as the auditorium is now darkening and the curtains are opening slowly; he glances out at the packed building, seeing so many people eager for this performance.

He sees Harry over in front of him, seated at the piano; he closes his mouth as soon as Harry has hit the first note.

Louis hasn't heard Harry play the piano until now. He's always missed Harry's practices because of his own classes.

( _Cold - Jorge Mendez_ )

He watches Harry closing his eyes and getting lost in the melody he is playing; and Louis only wonders again if there is anything this boy cannot do.

Harry's aware of where Louis is; he saw his exact location before he ever struck a key on the piano. Harry wanted to make sure Louis was exactly where he could see him... if or when he needed him during this.

But so far, Harry's having no problem closing his eyes and getting lost in the notes on the piano; he's not even aware of the audience anymore. He's not aware of anyone... except for Louis.

Then, the tempo of the song changes, violins begin to play, and suddenly, Harry's remembering just who is conducting this entire show. He doesn't look at Darren, however. He only keeps his eyes closed, focusing on the piano, and the haunting notes of this particular piece he's playing.

Louis' eyes are finding Darren Johnson at once. He knows that Darren is the one directing the symphony around Harry after all.

He can feel so much anger burning over him as he's watching Darren conducting the symphony; there's so many things going through Louis' mind while he's staring at this older professor.

He wonders if this man is even aware of the mental struggle he puts Harry through. He wonders if Darren will ever understand how much he has hurt Harry... but he mainly wonders if Darren will ever decide to walk away from Harry, or if he will bother him the rest of his life.

Louis listens to the entire concert almost too intently, feeling the emotions in every note that is played.And at the very end of the concert, he hears the violins beginning to die down... and Louis sees Darren's eyes cutting to the black piano at once, and Harry still lost in the melody he's playing.

The lights fade except for one light over Harry as he's playing the notes slowly. Louis can tell that he's completely caught up in the song.

Harry's playing the final notes and then taking a deep breath before he's grinning and listening to everyone begin to applaud.

Harry and the orchestra stand, and Harry's eyes are finding Louis' backstage, his dimples showing when he sees Louis' smile. 

Louis gives him a quick thumbs up and Harry's only grinning at him more. He bows again to the crowd, his eyes seeing Darren already smiling back at him as he's clapping.

Harry's smile fades for a moment, but then he's quickly grinning again and hurrying offstage, Louis meeting him.

"Amazing," Louis tells him instantly, "oh my god. It was fucking gorgeous."

"Thanks," Harry's chuckling when he meets Louis' gaze. "Uh, I feel like I suck these days. I don't play very much now."

"When you told me you played... I really didn't expect that," Louis is giggling as he shakes his head. "at all. Holy shit."

"Thanks, I think," Harry's grinning. "Uh, do you wanna wait in the dressing room? Niall's suppose to meet us in there. I'm gonna run to the loo first, though, Lou..."

Louis smirks and nods before he's walking across the hall to the dressing room while Harry's continuing to the bathroom not far away.

Harry goes rather quickly, then hears the door open and shut from behind him as he's standing in front of the urinal.

"You did amazing," Darren is soon saying to Harry, causing him to quickly turn around.

"Fucking hell... did you follow me?" Harry's asking him at once.

"What if I did?" Darren smirks and whispers before he's stepping closer to Harry, then breathing against his neck. "God, the way you played that piano tonight... it was fucking moving. You never cease to amaze me, H...."

"I don't want to do this tonight, ok?" Harry's speaking up, Darren stopping for a moment and staring at him. "I'm really not in the mood... and... I was at your place last night anyway..."

He grins a little at Harry before he's saying lowly, "I have plenty of shit that can change your mood..."

"I'm high enough, thanks," Harry's sighing before he's trying to zip his pants back up now.

Darren's hand is quickly stopping Harry, and Harry stands completely still, feeling Darren's hot breath against his neck now and his body almost against Harry's backside.

Darren slips his hand down into Harry's pants, then into his silk underwear and he's almost smirking when he grips Harry's cock in his hand. 

"You sure you don't want me, H?" He's whispering now against Harry's neck.

"This... this is a public restroom," Harry's whispering, "there's tons of fucking people here for this show, Darren..."

"You're right," he's saying in a quiet voice. He's gently taking Harry by the waist into the bathroom stall and then locking it.

And Harry doesn't even look at Darren as he begins to kiss his neck. He pulls Harry's pants open more, then takes Harry's cock into his hand again and begins to jerk him off rather slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Harry's face.

Harry sighs out loud and finally meets Darren's intense stare as he's jerking him off... but no words are said between them. And Harry knows that no words are ever said when Darren does this... when he just takes advantage of Harry because it's easier for Harry to give into him instead of stop him.

Harry can't even process how much he hates this man in front of him; this man that has done nothing but use him over and over. He hates himself for allowing Darren to use him again now.

But no matter how much Harry hates Darren, he finds himself in this situation... time after time. And Harry knows that deep down part of him even wants this, and part of him wants this man in front of him. But why would he want this? And how could he possibly want this after all this man has put him through?

Harry finally squeezes his eyes closed a few short seconds later and he moans out rather lowly as he's coming all over Darren's hand; Darren only watches Harry's face intently.

The rush of the moment is soon gone for Harry and he's pushing his hair back and sighing before he's fixing his pants. He knows there's so many things he'd like to say to this man... but he's not sure he'll ever have the strength to say them.

He opens the door and checks for anyone in the bathroom; Darren follows him to the sinks before Harry's turning to face him.

"Your shit is in the backpack... in the dressing room... make sure you get it," Darren says, and Harry knows he's referring to the weed Darren was bringing him and his friends.

"I gotta go," Harry nods and says quietly, "I've got shit to do tomorrow so, I've gotta get some sleep..."

"Don't forget to study for that exam," Darren is saying lowly before he's reaching over and trying to stroke Harry's cheek.

As soon as he does, however, the bathroom door is opening and someone is coming in, causing Darren to step back... and Harry uses the moment as his moment to make a quick exit.

He walks quickly to the dressing room and gathers his clothes, then he picks up the backpack that Darren left him and he asks Louis to go ahead and leave with him.

Louis watches Harry throwing his things in the shoulder bag he brought with him as they're both walking towards the back exit.

"Are... are you ok?" Louis asks softly. "I was beginning to wonder if Darren..."

"Can we not talk about him," Harry's asking at once, his tone lower. "Uh, Zayn and Liam are meeting us outside."

Louis bites his lip and manages to nod some, though he's now wondering if maybe Darren found Harry; Harry's mood has definitely changed.

"I had no clue you could play like that," Louis is telling Harry on the ride back to Harry's house.

Harry tries to smile as he's driving, but he's having a hard time thinking about anything other than Darren... and what happened.

"When did you begin playing?" Louis is asking.

Harry's lighting a joint and answering, "I was 7. I practiced and practiced, then played in my first concert when I was 14. It's just not something I do anymore, really..."

Louis nods, his eyes staring over Harry's face, "that's really impressive, Styles."

Harry shrugs some and hits the joint, his eyes watching the road; he only wonders if Louis has picked up on his mood yet.

"Uh, did I mention that your mum sent me a message on Facebook?" Harry's speaking up again, doing his best to take the tension off of himself.

"What?" Louis asks and laughs. "Why?"

"Uh, she... she wants us both to come visit next month," Harry's explaining with a small smile. "she said she hadn't talked to you about it yet, but that she wanted to know what days I would be free. So, yeah...."

"She's incredibly sure that we'll still be together next month, yeah?" Louis smirks at Harry.

Harry snickers some and nods, "yeah.... I'd say she is."

"Uh, you don't... We don't have to go, you know," Louis is saying slowly, Harry looking at him for a moment.

"Why wouldn't I want to go back to Doncaster with you?" Harry's asking with a confused look.

"I... I don't know," Louis shrugs, "I mean, I know you're probably not about spending time with someone's family..."

"I really like your family, Lou," Harry's saying in almost a whisper. He smiles some, "It's... it's been a long fucking day and I'm exhausted... I just need sleep."

Louis nods some, his eyes watching Harry's face. "You did amazing tonight. You sounded amazing. You looked amazing doing it. Really. And I... I love the fact that you paint your nails for these concerts."

Harry's grinning again and looking at his nails on his left hand as he's twisting his ring on his finger. "I like people wondering why I'm so different, I guess. I always make sure my nails look just right. They have to be perfect."

"Why are you such... a diva?" Louis snickers and shakes his head. Harry only shrugs and smiles innocently while he continues driving them home.

Once Harry's home, he's leading Louis to his room, then he's going straight to his bath and turning on the water faucet.

Louis finds a pair of pajamas while he's trying to steal glances of Harry in the bathroom by the tub. He's fully aware that something happened between Harry and Darren just a little bit ago at the concert hall.

He isn't going to pressure Harry to tell him... but Louis can tell just by the way Harry is acting now that Darren must've found him after the show. Before the concert, Harry was so upbeat and excited; when he returned to Louis, he wasn't anything like that. He only wonders what Darren said to Harry.

Louis slowly changes his clothes; he pretends to be looking at his phone while he watches Harry climbing in the bubble bath from the corner of his eye.

He doesn't try to say anything to Harry... and for that, Harry's grateful. He's not sure he could even try and talk to Louis about Darren right now. He doesn't want to bring any of it up.

Harry sighs and closes his eyes as he's leaning back in the vintage tub. He listens to the water running around him and he's doing his best to allow it to relax him. 

He finally sighs a little and reaches over in the floor for the joint and lighter he brought into the bathroom.

He lights the joint and breathes in a huge hit before closing his eyes and exhaling.

Harry doesn't want to think right now, he doesn't want to feel. He doesn't even want to exist. 

He looks slowly at each ring on his fingers, then he's pulling them off and placing them in the floor beside the tub. He pulls his hair up slowly, trying his best to tie it all up and away from his face.

He fixes the bun on top of his head, then he's lying down in the tub, his eyes closed again as he's breathing out a heavy sigh and trying to forget his reality for just a few moments.

He's sure that Louis has picked up on his mood; Harry wants so badly to just talk to Louis about it... but he can't bring himself to.

He looks over at the doorway, wondering what Louis is doing in his room.

"Lou," Harry's finally calling after clearing his throat.

Louis finally appears in the doorway in his dark blue Adidas sweats and a white tank top. "Yeah?"

Harry looks him over for a moment before he's finally saying, "I was just... wondering what you were up to. You can go to bed if you'd like. I know it's getting late...."

"Uh, I was actually reading in bed," Louis grins some and leans back against the counter as he's staring at Harry in the bathtub. He must admit: Harry does make having multiple tattoos sexy as fucking hell. "I'm trying to finish this book before I'm too busy with exams."

"Ah," Harry nods before he's offering the joint to Louis. "Want some?"

"Thanks," Louis grins. He takes a long hit of the joint and he knows Harry's watching him the entire time. He pretends he doesn't notice while he's clearing his throat and saying quietly, "uh, Niall said that... that you do a Christmas concert that's pretty wicked?"

Harry stares at Louis for a long pause, then finally nods. "Uh, yeah. we do... the school symphony does it every year. And Christmas is my favourite holiday... well, Christmas and Halloween. So, yeah..."

"Can you play Halloween music as well?" Louis asks with a small smirk.

Harry grins a little, "I can, yeah."

Louis chuckles before he's hitting the joint again, wishing Harry wouldn't stare every time that he did.

He gives the joint back to Harry and Harry's hitting it rather slowly while his eyes stay on Louis'. He exhales the smoke, the intensity in his eyes only growing now as Louis is staring back at him.

Harry almost smirks as he's asking Louis seductively, "what are you thinking right now, Lou?"

Louis' gaze doesn't break. He smiles some and answers, "actually.... how much I'd love to just... kiss you right now... I mean, you're naked in a fucking bubble bath..."

Harry's dimples deepen and his cheeks flush. He hits the joint again, then offers it to Louis as he's sitting up.

Louis walks over, Harry motioning for him to lean down to him. Louis exhales the hit and leans down, his face inches from Harry's now.

"Then, kiss me you fool," Harry's whispering to Louis before he's putting his hand on the back of Louis' neck and pulling him in.

Their lips crash into one another's and Louis almost moans at the sensation; Harry's tongue is quickly exploring Louis' mouth within seconds. Then, much to Louis' dismay, Harry's breaking the kiss and his eyes are meeting Louis' once more.

Louis grins a little and starts to say something before Niall is shouting down the hallway.

"Son of a bitch," Louis groans, Harry only snickering and sitting back again in the tub.

"Don't blame Niall... he's always had really bad timing," Harry shakes his head and plays with the bubbles on his chest while Louis is only chuckling at him.

"You know good and well I asked you to text me," Niall is yelling now from Harry's room. He's soon marching into the bathroom and looking at Harry in the tub. "Why didn't you?"

"I forgot?" Harry shrugs and sighs. "Why does it matter? It's not like I've been here very long..."

"Where's the weed?" Niall's asking at once before he looks at Louis. "Good night?"

"So far, yeah," Louis nods and shrugs, "can't really complain, Horan."

"Yours is in the small pocket of the backpack on the bed," Harry replies and glances at Louis with a smirk. "Did you need some also, Tomlinson?"

Louis grins, "uh... well, I'm ok with using yours. I don't need to buy any..."

"You don't have to pay for it," Harry whispers with a small grin. "Really. I can give you some. You act as if I pay for it.”

"Are... are you sure?" Louis asks softly.

"He's fucking sure," Zayn is giggling as he walks in the bathroom next. "Harry has loads. Do you think he really minds?"

“What happened to privacy?” Harry speaks up at once as he throws his hands up and looks between Niall, Louis, and Zayn.

“Oh, shut up,” Zayn snickers, “should’ve made sure we had our weed beforehand, I suppose...”

Harry shakes his head and smirks, "you just got home from the concert and you're already drunk? Really?“

Zayn shrugs and grins at Louis, "want me to get you some, man? I can show you where Harry hides his shit."

Louis looks back at Harry and Harry only grins and shrugs from the tub as he's playing with the bubbles again.

"Sure, yeah, I guess," Louis nods and laughs before he's following Zayn into Harry's room.

"Yeah, get the fuck out of my bathroom already and let me fucking relax," Harry's yelling at them with a small laugh.

Niall flips him off as he's hurrying out of the bathroom calling after Louis and Zayn. Harry watches Niall closing the door and suddenly, Harry is alone exactly as he wanted.

But now that he's alone, Harry remembers why he never likes being alone; he doesn't like having to think... or having to be with himself.

He sighs and closes his eyes again, his mind beginning to sink to that place that he doesn't like to go; that dark corner in his mind where Harry feels nothing but despair.

Harry doesn't often allow himself to sink this low; he's usually the first person to occupy his time by doing something. He has to keep himself busy. Otherwise, Harry feels as if he will go insane with the thoughts that play over and over in his mind.

He wonders how he can explain everything that he's feeling to Louis. How can he possibly tell Louis about the thoughts that plague him?

And how does he tell Louis that he doesn't know how to make any of this stop?

Harry knows that Darren is the reason he's never gotten close to anyone; but now, Louis knows, too. And suddenly, Harry realizes that he isn't carrying this burden alone anymore.

He bites his lip, his eyes focusing on the still water around his body. He hears his friends' laughter in his room, yet, Harry doesn't feel that same happiness.

He isn't even sure where his happiness went, though he's sure he can feel a small amount of it when Louis smiles at him. There's so many emotions that Harry used to feel; emotions that Harry has tried to bury in recent years. And all of a sudden, Louis has made him feel all of them again. 

Harry watches the bubbles slowly popping on top of the water, his mind completely lost in thought. He hears rain beginning to pound against the bathroom window and he's glancing over to see it falling rapidly outside.

He reaches for his phone, and he's surprised that Darren hasn't texted him at all yet. Harry does see a notification from his Facebook... and Louis' name.

He sees that Louis posted about the symphony only a few second ago, and his dimples deepen when he reads Louis' words.

"This lad did an amazing fucking job tonight at the uni concert. Well done, Harry Styles. I reckon there isn't anything you can't do. Fucking genius. X"

He sees a selfie of he and Louis from before the concert and Harry's face becomes serious for a moment; he isn't sure what he's done to deserve Louis in his life. But he's thankful that he showed up.

Harry finally smiles again before he's writing a comment back to Louis under the photo. "Thanks for being there, Lou. Made my night having you there. Xx"

Harry posts the message and grins some before he's mindlessly scrolling through his newsfeed now; he sees several different posts from his friends as he's scrolling... then, he's seeing a new post directly from Darren.

Harry feels that all too familiar lump forming in his throat again. He swallows hard and looks at the different photos taken at the concert by one of the school photographers that Darren knows; he's not surprised by how many photos contain himself... but then again, nothing that Darren does now surprises Harry.

He even sees where Darren has tagged his mum in a photo... he's sitting at the piano onstage. Harry sighs and rubs his face, feeling the anger growing in him at Darren. What gives him the right to tag his mum?

Harry groans a little out loud and bypasses the photos, scrolling mindlessly through his newsfeed once more; he has to keep his mind preoccupied to drown out the thoughts that are plaguing him inside.

He hears Louis' laughter a few seconds later and Harry's dimples are showing before he even realises it; he can't help but love Louis' laugh... his accent... his facial expressions.

Maybe Harry does love Louis.

And maybe Harry has known for a while that what he feels for Louis is far from normal; maybe he has known since day one that he loves this tiny, Doncaster fireball.

Harry can't bring himself to admit to Louis what he feels, even though he wants to. He wants to tell Louis how he feels, and how his life has gone completely wrong; how he feels stuck, and trapped in this. He wants to explain the way Darren treats him, how he talks to him, and tell Louis that he's not sure why he allows it to keep happening. He wants to tell Louis that he's right... and that he's been right about Darren since day one.

But Harry won't admit to any of that... because why would anyone put themselves in this situation? Why would anyone choose to let a monster run their lives? Why would anyone put themselves through what Harry has went through, at the hands of Darren?

He shakes his head and sighs, wishing that the thoughts would just stop playing over and over in his mind. He hates himself right now... and that's normal for him. There's not many days where Harry likes himself.

Harry wonders why he's allowed Darren to treat him this way.... why he has looked past his possessiveness, jealousy, and rage for so long. How could he turn the other cheek every time? How could he have ever pretended that Darren was anything but a fucking monster, preying on him still.

Harry listens to the rain falling outside, and he's biting his lip as he's trying to hold back the tears that are forming in his eyes; he doesn't want to do this.... he doesn't fall apart. He never falls apart. 

He sniffs some and wipes his eyes quickly, refusing to allow himself to do this right now; Darren isn't worth this.

He bites his lip and sits up some in the bath while he's opening his messages again. He clicks on Louis' name and he's smiling as he begins texting him slowly.

"What do you wanna do this weekend? I’m paying."

Harry smirks some when he hears footsteps at the bathroom door. He watches Louis walking in with a grin on his face.

"I'm in the next room, you know," Louis chuckles.

Harry shrugs and smirks, "maybe I didn't want you in here... alright?"

"Then, by all means, allow me to leave," Louis states in a sassy tone, Harry only laughing at him.

"I don't care if you're in here," Harry snickers and says more quietly, his eyes staying on Louis', "I'm guessing Zayn showed you where my hiding spot was.”

Louis shrugs and grins, “he may have.”

Harry laughs and shakes his head, "looks like it... from the way your eyes look."

Louis shrugs and gives Harry a wink before he's saying softly, "uh, what is it you would like to do this weekend? Because I honestly don't like making plans... I fucking suck at making them."

"Spur of the moment has always worked best for me," Harry speaks up, Louis meeting his gaze. "I've had quite a few amazing vacations that way."

Louis bites his lip, "are you... wanting to go somewhere?"

Harry's face falls serious as he's staring at Louis almost too intensely now. He wonders how readable he is to Louis in this moment.

"I'd... I'd love to go somewhere with you, if you want to, that is," Harry manages to say, hoping that Louis can tell how much he means this. "I don't think there's anywhere I wouldn't take you..."

"Jesus Christ," Louis smirks, "Harry, I... I don't know if I'm ok with you paying for everything all the fucking time... and I don't have much..."

"Lou, I don't mind," Harry's interrupting him, his tone serious. "Just... please let me take you somewhere... anywhere... that’s not here.”

Louis closes his mouth, his eyes watching Harry closely. He can tell that Harry's eyes are puffy and red, and it's not just because he's high.

"What's wrong?" Louis asks before he even means to.

Harry's completely taken off guard by the question for a moment. He tries to smile some as he does his best to answer Louis, "nothing... I'm... exhausted. I've smoked a lot... I just need some sleep..."

"You sure?" Louis asks, his tone completely serious.

Harry knows that Louis is high and he'll ask and say whatever comes to his mind right now... so, Harry chooses to ignore the truth.

"I'm fine," Harry states again, hoping that his tone is more believable. "Uh, where would you go... if you could go anywhere for just a weekend getaway?”

Louis' lips slowly curl into a grin, "uh, I don't really know... somewhere... close to the ocean. Like, a house... on the cliffs probably...”

Harry’s dimples show instantly, “that sounds heavenly actually. A cottage on a cliff side... the ocean waves...”

Louis nods and licks his lips, “yeah, well... it’s something I’ve always wanted to experience.”

“Why?” Harry asks quietly, his eyes studying Louis closely.

Louis shrugs, “It’s fucking beautiful... I don’t know, I’ve always liked the ocean... and the cliffs are just amazing...”

Harry nods some before he’s stating in a gentle tone, “let’s go, then.”

Louis glances back at him immediately. “We... you want to just... pick up and go... right now?”

“We could get a flight for in the morning,” Harry explains, his eyes glancing down to the text from Darren that’s just popped up on his phone. Harry’s sure that he’ll ask him to come over tonight.

“You really wanna do that?” Louis asks, his voice quieter as he’s watching Harry. “We... we can find something to do in London... if you wanna get away for a bit...”

Harry licks his lips and manages to reply, “let me take you somewhere, alright? I... I want to.”

Louis closes his mouth, and he keeps his eyes locked with Harry’s for several seconds; he can tell that Harry really means this... and maybe that’s what Harry needs him to understand.

“I... I’m fine with it, yeah,” Louis finally admits with a small grin. “Uh, I... I can take my book and finish it while we’re there...”

“If you’re not in bed with me the entire time,” Harry states with a wink, Louis only snickering at him.

“If you wanna spend all day in bed perhaps we should just get a sleazy hotel in fucking London,” Louis laughs, “not a cottage on the cliff side.”

Harry shrugs, “I get your point... but, the ocean waves being your background sound during fucking... that kinda trumps London... I’m sorry...”

“I tend to agree,” Louis nods and smirks, “so, think you can find a place?”

Harry grins a little, “oh yeah... I have my ways.”

An hour later, Louis is sitting outside on the balcony talking to Niall and Zayn while they pass a joint amongst themselves.

Louis sees Harry coming out of the bathroom finally and he’s calling to him instantly, “want some of this, love?”

Harry’s glancing at Louis and grinning almost instantly. He nods some and walks out on the balcony to the 3 of them. 

Louis hands Harry the joint while he’s staring at him in these tiny, tiny black shorts that barely cover his ass, and no shirt again. He tries to listen to Niall now going on about his girlfriend, but Louis is having a hard time focusing on anything but Harry.

“I don’t see what the problem is, Niall,” Harry’s speaking up at once, bringing Louis back to reality. “She really fucking likes you... so, why not just go?”

“I wasn’t listening... where is she wanting to go?” Louis asks at once, Niall and Harry only snickering at him.

“You were too busy staring at Harry in his shorts,” Zayn speaks up, Louis’ eyes falling on him. Zayn only smirks and gives Louis a wink.

Harry’s dimples show in an instant as he’s looking back at Louis now. “It’s alright... I don’t mind you staring at all... it’s flattering.”

“Well, you make it way too fucking easy,” Louis states and almost laughs while Harry’s hitting the joint slowly. 

“Anyways,” Niall says loudly and rolls his eyes, Louis snickering, “she wants to go to Scotland... in a few months.”

“He should totally go,” Harry states and hands the joint to Zayn before he’s walking to the ledge. Zayn and Niall start talking to one another while Louis is still zoned in on Harry.

He watches Harry staring down at the changing pool lights below, and he only wonders what’s on Harry’s mind right now; what’s bothering him? What’s worrying him?

He slowly walks over to him, Harry only staring off into the dark skies now.

“Are you not cold?” Louis manages to ask with a small smile.

Harry shrugs and grins some, “I’m... ok for now. That bath was extremely hot.”

Louis smirks and places his hands on the railing while Harry’s doing the same. He watches Harry biting his lip and staring off while the breeze blows his loose pieces of hair around his bun. 

Louis is sure now that no one is as beautiful as Harry Styles.  

“I have a place reserved... for tomorrow and Sunday,” Harry states, his eyes meeting Louis’, “and... I’ve already gotten directions...”

“We’re driving?” Louis asks and grins. “Really? Your Ferrari, I presume?”

Harry shrugs some and says back lowly, “I like... the open road... and just... driving and thinking. I don’t know...”

Louis nods some, “I get it. I’m fine with it, yeah. Uh... are you telling...”

“I’m not telling him that I’m leaving, no,” Harry answers Louis before Louis can say Darren’s name. “It’s not his business.”

“Maybe... a few weekends from now, you could go see your mum again,” Louis whispers, Harry glancing at him, “I’m sure she would love to see you.”

Harry closes his mouth and stares off again, and Louis regrets saying anything for a moment.

“I don’t know if I’m ready, Lou,” Harry’s finally admitting, Louis turning to him at once. “I... I have faked this life for so long...”

Harry stops again and shakes his head before he’s sighing out loud. Louis places his hand on top of Harry’s gently, and Harry finally meets his gaze again.

“I... I’d go with you to see her, if you wanted me to,” Louis says, his tone serious. “You know that I would in a heartbeat.”

Harry stares at him for a long pause before he’s smiling some. “I... I know.”

“I’d love to see Holmes Chapel,” Louis says and laughs, “it’s probably nicer than Donny.”

Harry smirks some, “it’s... amazing, yeah. I always loved it.”

“Louis, your roommate Stan... he came up to me today and started talking about you... and Harry,” Niall is saying as he’s stepping over to them while Zayn heads inside again. He hits the joint in his hand and exhales the hit, “I told him it wasn’t his business...”

“Nice,” Louis nods and shakes his head, “fucking cunt.”

“Why don’t we just go get the rest of your things already?” Harry’s asking, Louis looking back at him.

“Me leave the dorm for good though and move in here?” Louis asks, “I... I don’t know... I mean, this house isn’t even yours...”

Louis stops himself when he realizes what he’s said and Niall only looks confused as he’s glancing at Harry. “What does he mean?”

“Nothing,” Harry states quietly, his eyes on Louis. “It’s... nothing, Niall.”

“Aren’t you renting this place?” Niall asks, Harry only staring off. He’s fighting with telling the truth... but the lie is so much easier.

“It’s actually... Darren’s,” Harry finally admits, his eyes not meeting Niall’s. 

Louis, however is watching the surprise on Niall’s face grow second by second. He really had no clue, Louis thinks to himself.

“Darren? He owns... this?” Niall manages to ask as he’s pointing up towards the ceiling, “Are... are you fucking kidding me?”

“To be honest, I wish I was kidding, yeah,” Harry almost laughs before he’s glancing off again. “I’m not joking, Niall. It’s his. I... I live in a house that is owned by him. And... the sad part is that... that I didn’t think twice about it when he offered it to me. What kind of person am I?”

Niall stays still for several seconds, his eyes only watching Harry in front of him. “I... I don’t get this, Harry... I don’t understand...”

“I think you do,” Louis speaks up, Niall looking at him, “I think you just hope you’re wrong about all of it... like I did. Because I hoped I would be wrong about this, too.”

Niall doesn’t say anything; he only stares at Louis and understands exactly what he means by his words; Darren owns Harry’s life right now. And maybe they didn’t want to see it, or even believe it.

“It’s not a big deal... I can find another place,” Harry’s sighing out loud, Louis and Niall glancing at him, “might as well, right?”

Niall licks his lips, his eyes still studying Harry. “Hey, Harry... I... I think moving would be best.”

Harry doesn’t say anything; he stares off at the pool again, wishing he didn’t have to admit to this.

“I... I don’t get why someone like him would let a 20 year old college kid live in his house...,” Niall states softly, “he’s... a college professor with... degrees in psychology, music, art... he seems to have a really good head on his shoulders. Seems he’d be worried that someone would find out about you and him, too. Is he just...a sugar daddy or something to you, Harry? Because I don’t get this...”

“Wow,” Louis almost snorts before he’s looking at Harry again.

“I’ve known him a long time, alright?” Harry’s admitting next, Niall’s mouth closing. “Since I was 15... he’s from Holmes Chapel, too.”

Niall’s face stays completely serious as he tries to process Harry’s confession. “You... told us...”

“I lied,” Harry replies quickly, his eyes meeting Niall’s again, “Alright? It was... easier to tell you that... that I met him here and I was only seeing him for his money... and because he had to tutor me...”

“You told them you were in it for his money?” Louis speaks up and almost laughs out loud.

“You’ve smoked way too much,” Harry tells him and tries not to smile. “You should go to bed, Lou.”

“I’m fine,” Louis waves him off and glances at Niall, “I’ve already tried to convince him to move out.”

“I’ll look for places when we get back,” Harry says, his eyes meeting Louis’. “Ok? I... I want to move out, Lou. I’m ready to.”

Louis manages to nod some, his face falling serious. “I had hoped that you would be ready soon. Good for you, love. You’re doing the right thing.”

Harry doesn’t say anything; he only stares at Louis... wondering if he really can trust this man in front of him. Can he really confide in him? Can he tell Louis everything? All of the details? Even the horrid moments with Darren that are forever etched into Harry’s memory... can he tell Louis about those?

Will Louis really understand him? Will he listen to what Harry has to tell him, with a completely open mind? He knows that his and Darren’s relationship is hard to understand... and maybe he won’t ever understand it... but how can he get Louis to understand how he feels? 

And how does he even explain to Louis that maybe he did develop feelings for Darren once upon a time. And maybe those feelings aren’t even real, but those feelings are what keep Harry in this place... questioning if he can ever find it in himself to say goodbye to this demon for good... if he can ever walk away from Darren without questioning his decision to do so.


	10. Chapter 10

"You're not listening to me," Harry's almost screaming as he’s pushing Darren away from him,"this isn't what I want anymore... alright? I... I don't feel the same way about you... this... it’s not right...”

"Because of Tomlinson, yeah?" Darren is asking at once, his eyes not breaking from Harry's face. "I was right... you did fall for him. I saw it coming..."

Harry's gaze doesn't break as he's saying in a low tone, "then, why can't you fucking accept the fact that I'm done with you? It's not like you own my entire fucking life..."

"For the most part I do," Darren nods and says, his tone changing completely, "Harry, you... you have everything you have right now because of me... even your fucking scholarship...”

"Stop," Harry's interrupting at once. He sighs and shakes his head before he's glancing at Darren again, "you know that I didn't get here by your doing alone. Yeah, you've helped me loads along the way. But I'm fucking smart enough to do my own fucking work. I chose to let you help me... because I was stupid... and it was easier. At some point, though, I've gotta grow up... and own up to my own mistakes... just like you have to own up to yours."

"We'll see... how long you last this time," Darren states, his tone cold as he's eyeing Harry down now. "Last time... you made it a week without me..."

"Do me a favour," Harry manages to say, his tone serious, "Don't... don't text me... at all... from now on. Alright?"

Darren closes his mouth, his eyes watching Harry. Harry turns the doorknob and opens the door just a crack as Darren finally speaks again in a softer tone, "you're serious this time, aren't you?"

Harry bites his lip, his face calm while he's opening the door. He steps outside as he states quietly, "I'm... most likely leaving school for a while, too. Just so you know."

He drives back to his house, though it's not his house at all. This car isn't his car. Hardly anything that he owns right now is his... and Harry only blames himself for that. How could he have been dumb enough to give into Darren... and accept so many things from him?

Rain begins to fall on the windshield of the red Ferrari and Harry's sighing some, his mind still lost in deep thought as he watches the drops pounding down; he wonders why part of him is finding it so hard to tell Darren goodbye... for good.

He smokes another joint to kill the pain and when he's finally home, he's pulling in the garage and sitting in the car for a moment.

How did his life ever become what it is? And why did he ever try to have a relationship with Darren Johnson? These same questions Harry has asked himself for months and months. But does he actually have enough strength to walk away... and stay away this time?

 

Harry wakes the very next morning wondering if he dreamed up the night before, when he told Darren he was done. He hears the alarm of his phone sounding on the nightstand. He's slowly opening his eyes and he sees Louis standing by the bed when he's sitting up.

"Hey," Louis states softly as he's turning off Harry's alarm, "morning. Hope you slept alright."

Harry stretches some and tries to nod, "Could've slept a lot better actually. Uh, I wasn't expecting you to be up already."

Louis shrugs and glances over at the rain beating down outside on the balcony. "I woke up a bit ago... and I couldn't go back to sleep."

Harry licks his lips and starts climbing out of the covers slowly. He pushes his curls back as he's standing up and stretching... and Louis is having a hard time not staring at Harry's bare ass from the other side of the bed.

"I take it you packed," Harry's speaking up, grinning a little when he sees the bags over beside the bedroom door.

"I... I'm only taking one duffel with clothes... and a small backpack with books and shit," Louis states, "I plan on studying for the exam while we're there..."

Harry nods some as he's walking in the bathroom. "I... I might be leaving school... for a while. So, I don't know if I'll even bother studying..."

Louis closes his mouth as he's walking to the bathroom door now. He doesn't walk in, however. He only stands outside with his back turned to Harry. "Wow... I didn't think you wanted a break from school."

Harry finishes going to the bathroom, then he's flushing the toilet and walking to the shower. He turns on the hot water before he's looking back at where Louis stands. He smirks to himself when he sees Louis not facing him.

"You... you can come in here, you know," Harry's saying with a small snicker, "it's not like you haven't seen me nude, Lou."

Louis bites his lip and turns around, his eyes meeting Harry's as he's walking in the bathroom. "I... I didn't wanna impose..."

"You’d never impose," Harry's saying with a confused expression, "what's up with you this morning? You seem kinda... off..."

Louis folds his arms, his eyes looking away now as Harry's staring at him.

"What's wrong?" Harry's asking, his tone serious now. He knows there's something Louis isn't telling him... and he hates that.

"Nothing," Louis finally says, his eyes meeting Harry's again. "I... I'm fine. I got entirely too high last night; I thought I'd feel better than this, I guess."

Harry tries to nod before he's opening the shower door and climbing in without another word said to Louis.

Louis bites his lip and starts to walk out as Harry is finally speaking up.

"You can talk to me, you know. I'm... I'm the last person in the world to share someone's secrets. And I'm a great listener."

Louis smiles at Harry's words before he even means to. He turns back to the shower before he's calling, "is it because you have so many secrets of your own?"

Harry stays still for a moment under the water. He doesn't really know how to answer Louis. Does Louis know how many secrets he has?

He wants to be honest with Louis... about everything. But how can he? If he confesses to Louis how Darren really is, and how he really treats him, it only causes problems... for Darren. And those problems become Harry's problems; it's an endless cycle for him... and he's sure that it'll stay that way until the day one of them dies.

"I have to keep some mystery to myself, yeah?" Harry's finally saying with a small smile.”

"Yeah, suppose so," Louis replies before he's asking, "when... when did you decide about school exactly? I mean, the last time we talked about it you didn't want to take a break."

"I... I've been thinking about it a lot lately... the last couple of days," Harry's replying quietly before he's rinsing his hair, anxiety beginning to overcome him again. "I really need a break. From everything."

Louis bites his lip and stays quiet, even though he's sure Harry's not taking a break from school because of his work or activities; he's taking a break because of Darren.

"What... what are you gonna do, if you take a break?" Louis decides to ask next.

"I don't know," Harry replies, "uh... it's not something I've thought of too in depth yet... but... I do want to drop the classes I'm in. We can talk about it more when we get back though... right now, we should worry about the trip, alright?"

"Right," Louis is saying softly, "I'm gonna go get some coffee... and see if Horan wants to burn one."

"Hey," Harry's snickering, "I'm offended. You could wait on me."

"There's plenty left in your room, I assure you. We'll smoke as soon as you're out," Louis chuckles as he's leaving the bathroom. He slips on a grey t-shirt of Harry's from the end of the bed, then he's grabbing his Adidas sweats from the top of the dresser.

His phone lights up from the dresser as he's about to walk downstairs; he picks it up thinking his mum or sister has texted him again since it's the weekend.

As he's heading downstairs though, he realizes it's not his family; he sees a London number he isn't familiar with... but he knows exactly who it is as soon as he reads the text.

_"Tomlinson, see if you can talk some sense into Harry about leaving school please. Maybe he'll listen to you about it. He’s too smart to quit now. -D"_

Louis stops on the staircase, and he starts cursing under his breath without even realizing he's doing it.

"You alright?" Niall's calling to him from the bottom of the stairs.

Louis looks up at him, seeing how confused Niall looks. Louis shakes his head and sighs as he's walking down the stairs again.

"That fucking piece of shit Darren texted me this time," Louis manages to say lowly without meeting Niall's gaze. He walks straight to the kitchen and starts making himself coffee within seconds. "I'm not sure how he even got my number... never mind, he's my fucking professor, of course he fucking has it... son of a fucking bitch...."

Niall sits at the bar watching Louis now, twiddling his thumbs and wishing he knew how to make this situation easier.

"It's fucked up, Niall," Louis mumbles as he's leaning back against the counter and sighing. "Every fucking bit of it."

"Why did he text you exactly?" Niall asks.

Louis is pulling out the cigarette pack from his sweats before lighting a joint. He exhales the hit and states lowly, "Harry wants to take a break from school... and he wants me to talk to Harry about that... and change his mind."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding," Niall almost laughs, "wait... why is Harry taking a break? Is he really going to?"

Louis shrugs his shoulders and hits the joint again, his eyes glancing over the interior of this kitchen, and the vaulted ceilings. He used to adore Harry's house and every detail inside of it, but now, he'd rather see it burn... with Darren inside of it.

"Harry... hasn't ever really taken a break," Niall almost whispers, "I mean, he goes to classes year round. He's on a scholarship as well... I don't know if he can just drop the classes like that."

"I don't think he really cares anymore," Louis states before he's handing the joint to Niall. "I think... he's just ready to get away... from a certain person."

Niall manages to nod some before saying, "seems like he'd still stay in class though. He could avoid him..."

"I don't... don't think there's much avoiding him if you're Harry," Louis speaks up, Niall looking back at him, "he's... he's made sure to become a part of nearly everything Harry does. He's incorporated himself into every part of his fucking life. At school, used to be his work. Even his home... the car he fucking drives. It's like the bastard planned all of this shit... like he wanted Harry tied to him..."

Niall almost snickers, "Tomlinson, maybe you shouldn't smoke first thing in the morning."

"Well, he has given Harry everything," Louis shrugs, "he seems very... cunning that way."

"I don't know if you wanna believe this or not... but Harry... he did actually like Darren back... at one point in time," Niall manages to stutter, "and... I get that you may not believe me, but... I know that look on someone's face when they're infatuated with someone. I mean, the way the 2 of you look at each other is sickening as well..."

Louis smirks some before his face falls serious again. "I... I believe you. Harry told me it wasn't like that now..."

Niall nods, "it's not anymore. He acts differently around him now. But, when I first moved in here, right after Harry, you could tell that... that he was smitten with that man... and I still don't see how or why."

"Maybe it was never... real," Louis manages to get out, "maybe Harry didn't actually 'love' him... but... I feel like he did allow himself to develop feelings... of some sort towards Darren."

Niall shrugs his shoulders, "I tend to agree... but I feel like it's more that.... that Darren knew how to push all the right buttons with Harry... and he sort of made him fall for him, if that makes sense."

"Like he planned it," Louis nods some, "doesn't sound so far fetched now, does it? I mean, how long did he live in Holmes Chapel? Or was he born there?"

"He was probably born there," Niall replies in almost a whisper. "This is really fucked up. He needs to find another place to live, Louis....”

Louis manages to nod before he's making his coffee now, his mind still on Harry upstairs in the shower. He decides to let Niall have the rest of the joint and he goes upstairs again, his thoughts all over the place.

He grabs one of Harry's joints from the nightstand, then He takes his coffee out on the balcony, looking over the rain soaked trees surrounding the home. It's incredibly foggy and the temperature is perfect and cool. He prefers mornings like these.

He lights the joint while he begins thinking back to this morning... and pretending to be sound asleep when Harry stumbled into bed after 3 am. He remembers smelling weed, liquor, and cologne. Louis recalls wanting to puke when he smelled the cologne because he knew who it belonged to... and it wasn't Harry.

He bites his lip as he remembers one part of this morning vividly: Harry crying as quietly as possible next to him... and Louis wishing he could fix everything for him... make him see that there's so much more to life than this; there's more than Darren Johnson... than the university...

He remembers wrapping Harry in his arms, and kissing the back of his hair. He only wanted to give Harry some form of comfort... and security. And Louis is sure that it worked because Harry began snoring only a few moments after feeling his touch... but Louis recalls lying there awake for much longer, his mind filled with so many thoughts and questions.

He hits the joint again before he's glancing up at the clouds in the skies. He realizes now that he's gotta get Harry away from this place... and away from this man.

Louis is sure that Harry couldn't possibly love Darren... but he knows that part of Harry has found it hard to say goodbye to Darren many times before now. So, how does he help Harry leave for good?

And does Harry really want the help? Has he finally reached his breaking point? Zayn told Louis it was coming... and Louis only wonders if this is it...if Harry is ready to start over with his life, making his own decisions for himself... and not allowing someone else to control him anymore.

Louis hits the joint, Harry catching his eye in the bedroom and breaking all of Louis' thoughts once again. He sees him walking out of the bathroom with nothing but his red boxers on... and Louis wishes Harry would wear more clothes sometimes.

He adjusts himself in his sweatpants as Harry's walking out to him, a small smirk on his lips.

"You alright?" He asks, and Louis wants to melt when he hears Harry's deep raspy voice. He isn't even sure why Harry has this strong of an effect on him... or why everything Harry does turns him on. He's liked guys before... but he is positive that Harry is different than everyone else... and that he's one of a kind.

"I'm... yeah. I'm fine," Louis manages to stutter, "have you packed anything?"

"Uh, I have a bag in my closet actually.... has shit in it," Harry replies and leans back against the ledge before he's pointing to the joint.

Louis hands it to Harry and watches him taking a long hit before he's managing to say, "wanna maybe look at houses while we're away?"

Harry glances back, his face serious, "I'd like that, yeah. Definitely. I... I'm sure I can afford to rent something..."

"How much do you have saved?" Louis asks before he's sighing and trying to laugh, "I shouldn't have asked that... that's rather personal..."

"It's ok," Harry speaks up quickly before his dimples show, "you can ask me anything, Lou... you should understand that by now."

Louis nods some and bites his lip while Harry's hitting the joint again. He watches him closely, and is caught off guard completely when Harry's eyes meet his again. 

"I'm guessing the lads will move with you? And share still?" Louis decides to ask, trying to cut the tension he feels growing between them.

Harry licks his lips and tries to nod some, "uh, yeah... well, so far, Niall is the only one who knows about... all this, besides you, so..."

"Zayn doesn't know any of it?" Louis almost whispers, his eyes searching Harry's. "Geez, I thought you and him had been friends for a while... for years?"

"We have," Harry states quietly, "but... I... I never told him everything, Lou. I told you that... no one knows as much as you do."

"Now would be a great time to tell him... and Liam," Louis manages to say, Harry glancing back, "they're your friends... surely, they'll just call you a fucking idiot and move on with life..."

"Thanks," Harry's snickering in an instant and shaking his head, Louis only grinning more as he stares at this beautiful boy.

He's the reason Harry's smiling this way... and he wishes he could make him smile like this every second of the day. Harry's even more beautiful when he's smiling. Maybe it's the dimples... or the curls... or just the smile itself. Louis really isn't sure... but he is sure that nothing is more beautiful than Harry Styles happy.

After they've finished the joint, Harry's going in to get dressed and Louis follows him. He decides to stick to the Adidas sweatpants he's wearing, so he takes a seat on Harry's bed and starts slipping on his Vans slowly.

He sees Harry standing in the closet, looking through his many shirts. He finally pulls out a white button up blouse and removes it from the hanger, meeting Louis' gaze, his dimples showing almost instantly.

"What?"

"Nothing," Louis quickly replies and tries to smile. "I... I just think you're gorgeous, that's all."

"You're really high," Harry snickers lightly and finishes buttoning his blouse. Then, he's stopping in front of his mirror and running his fingers through his curls. He notices a certain photo on his dresser mirror, and the happiness inside of him drains away again.

Harry reaches over and takes down the photo of Darren and himself. He still remembers the day it was taken; the Christmas concert last year. They're both wearing suits, Harry's curls are a bit shorter than they are now, and Harry's smiling like he's the happiest person in the world... but he knows that he was far from happy in this photo; he had just become good at faking it.

Another photo catches Harry's eye... Because Darren is in it as well... with Liam, Niall, Zayn, and himself at a night club.

Louis steps over as Harry's pulling the other photo down and crumbling it up in his hand, his eyes glancing back at Louis'.

Louis doesn't say anything. He only searches Harry's green eyes, trying to figure out what this beautiful boy feels... and what he needs.

The photo of Darren and Harry still in Harry's hand is catching Louis' attention and he's closing his mouth at once, his eyes looking back at Harry's face.

Is Harry finally ready to say goodbye to this demon? Is he ready to burn that fucking bridge and never look back?

"Harry..."

"Harry!" Niall is soon calling from the hallway, bringing Harry and Louis both back to reality.

"He's getting really good at interrupting," Louis mumbles before he's smirking.

Harry giggles and nods before he's walking to his bedroom door. He unlocks it and lets Niall inside. "What's up?"

"Hey, uh, you'll be back when? Monday morning?" He asks.

Harry nods some and crosses his arms, "yeah... that's the plan. Why?"

"I'd... I'd like it if maybe we could go look for some place to rent when you get back... if you're alright with it," Niall states and looks over at Louis, then back to Harry. "I assume you're going to tell Liam and Zayn..."

"Considering they live here, yeah," Harry replies, "uh, can we talk about this when we get back?"

"Yeah," Niall nods, "I... I just wanted to tell you... I'm here for you, no matter what. You... you don't even have to tell me everything... but I'm here if you need me."

Harry closes his mouth, his face falling serious as his eyes meet Niall's. He finally manages to smile some while he nods, "I appreciate that, Niall. I really do. Thank you. Not quite sure I deserve it..."

"You do fucking deserve it," Louis speaks up now, Harry turning to him, "don't... don't think so little of yourself, Harry..."

"I don't," Harry mumbles, "but... I'm really not a saint. I don’t always do the right thing.... and I haven't been the greatest friend to anyone the past few months..."

"Things happen," Niall speaks up, "and... you were still around...just not very often. Darren was usually here when you were. At least for a long while there..."

Harry bites his lip and finally manages to nod again, but Louis is the one that speaks up first. 

"We should probably get going," he states after he's cleared his throat. Harry's eyes meet his for a moment and Louis can tell that Harry's relieved he's changed the subject.

"Yeah, let me get my bag," Harry replies and tries to smile before he's walking to his closet. "Lou, grab a few of those out of my box... so we have some to smoke."

Louis chuckles and goes to Harry's metal box on the nightstand; he's taking out several joints and glancing back at Harry. "How many exactly?"

"Depends on how fucked up you wanna get with me," Harry's replying with a devious grin before he's winking, Louis only snickering. Niall shakes his head and covers his face causing Louis to snicker more.

"And you said something about me being high," Louis shakes his head with a grin on his lips.

Harry shrugs and sits his black Gucci bag down outside of his closet. "It's the truth either way... you can admit it. You want me just as much as I want you."

"Jesus... I'm leaving now. Have a safe trip," Niall's groaning and walking out of the room, Harry and Louis only laughing together.

They throw their bags in the trunk before telling the other boys goodbye. Louis, then, climbs into the passenger seat while Harry's climbing into the driver's.

He's pulling out of the security gate just a few moments later, and Louis sees him begin to smile some.

"What is it?" Louis manages to ask.

Harry turns to him immediately, a small grin still on his face. "I'm... glad I'm doing this... with you. It's... nice getting away."

"We were gone last weekend," Louis states and smirks, "you really do like to keep going, don't you? All the fucking time? Jesus, don't geniuses like you ever take breaks?"

Harry's dimples show, and Louis wants to melt when Harry smiles this way; it's the most beautiful thing in the world to Louis. It looks like... happiness.

"That's why we're doing this," Harry replies, his tone falling serious again, "this is a break... at least for a bit. And..."

Harry reaches over and lays his hand on Louis' upper thigh, and Louis only responds by putting his hand on top of Harry's; it's almost like instinct to him already.

"... I'm doing this with you," Harry manages to admit, "and that... really means a lot to me."

"Might I ask what it is about me that you even fancy?" Louis says before he's snickering some. "Honestly.... you're such a... pretty boy. And I'm just... me. We're so different..."

"What do you mean?" Harry's asking, "I'm not following."

"You were a child prodigy, I'm assuming," Louis states, his tone falling serious again. Harry closes his mouth as Louis starts a lot lower now, "you've always been brilliant... your life has been pretty easy because of that, I'm just guessing. And... you've been successful in everything you've done. You're popular... you're a model. None of that shit is me."

"What are you saying exactly?" Harry's asking, his tone quieter now. He glances at Louis, then back at the road in front of him, "do... do you think I'm too good for you? Is... is that what this is?"

Louis bites his lip and glances out of the window, the rain beginning to fall on them again. He slowly lights a cigarette before his eyes are staring at Harry once more.

"I know you're out of my league," Louis gets out, Harry's eyes meeting his for a moment, "that's... that's why I don't understand what you see, love... I'm not... like you..."

"Do you think I want someone just like me?" Harry's asking, a small smirk on his lips. "Jesus, that'd be boring. I'm... I'm a handful on my own..."

Louis chuckles some, his eyes still watching Harry closely.

"You're not any less than I am," Harry states softer, "a lot of the shit I have... I don't deserve. I'm not proud of who I am, at all. And I'm not... better than you in any way, Lou..."

"You're a lot... prettier," Louis states, "you literally could have anyone with that sort of face..."

Harry's dimples show for a moment as he's shrugging some, "why would I want anyone else when I can just have you?"

Louis closes his mouth as he tries to smile some, though he feels like Harry has stolen the words from him again. Harry's more than brilliant at being blunt and honest... and it's one of Louis' favorite things about him.

Harry stops to put gas in his car, and Louis decides to step out with him, his eyes looking over the busy parking lot.

Harry's putting his card into the machine, then he starts filling the car, his eyes falling to Louis standing by the passenger door. He sees the smirk on Louis' face and Harry's asking with a small grin, "what is it?"

"The looks," Louis replies and laughs some, "I'm guessing you don't ever pay attention to people's reactions? With your car?"

"Oh," Harry says quickly and smirks, "uh... I guess I don't pay attention anymore, no. Rather sad, yeah."

"You haven't had it that long, have you?" Louis decides to ask as he's moving to stand beside Harry now.

Harry watches the numbers changing on the gas pump. He replies in a low tone, "almost 2 years. It was given to me the day of my 19th birthday. I guess that's long enough."

Louis buries his hands in his hoodie before he's glancing back at the store entrance; he sees a black Audi and his breath catches for just a moment. He doesn't believe it's Darren... and when an older woman steps out, he finds himself relieved that it isn't. But he wonders if Darren will somehow figure out where Harry is before he's back on Monday?

Louis watches a few different people walking out of the store, their eyes on Harry's car. Louis even laughs at 2 younger lads pointing.

"I'm buying another vehicle when we get back," Harry says so calmly from where he stands against the car, looking as if he doesn't have a care in the world. This rich life suits him, Louis can't help but think to himself... and he can see why faking it came so easy to Harry over time.

His sunglasses sit over his eyes and his curls are flowing freely with the breeze as he sits here with his arms crossed... and Louis is completely endeared by him again. His nonchalant attitude sometimes amazes Louis.

"Don't like so many people looking?" Louis finally chuckles.

"I... I just never noticed," Harry replies, "Honestly, I told him that I would either pay for the car... or I'd just give it back. So, there's gotta be something in London I can afford, yeah?"

"Yeah," Louis manages to nod some, his face serious as he's staring at Harry. He loves when Harry opens up to him about things... and he doesn't have to ask him to. Maybe Harry does finally trust him. "Do you not want to keep it though?"

Harry glances back at him, his face serious, "I think... seeing it crash and burn with Darren inside of it would be better than driving it..."

Louis' face falls serious as he's staring at Harry. "Are you... you're not... like planning..."

"What?" Harry's asking as he looks confused. A light bulb goes off in his head and he's suddenly laughing when he realises what Louis means, "oh my god... I was being sarcastic. I'm not... plotting his murder, Lou. Jesus fuck. How much did you smoke?”

"I was beginning to wonder... for a moment," Louis sighs and laughs at Harry’s comment. "Sorry... I mean, you don’t seem like that kind of person..."

"You don't know that," Harry replies and tries to smile some, "kidding, sorry."

Louis smirks, his eyes still watching Harry closely. He finishes pumping the gas, then he and Louis both are climbing back into the car.

Harry fires up the engine and gives Louis a small wink before he's revving up the engine some. 

"Might as well have fun with it while I still have it, right?" Harry smirks, Louis only laughing and nodding from beside him.

Soon, they're back on the road, sharing a bag of chips and a soda... neither of them minding one bit. Louis picks songs on the radio, Harry sings along to almost every single one... and Louis is truly thankful that he and Harry decided to do this. He knows this will be a brilliant weekend with Harry... and only Harry.

Mist begins to fall as they're nearing the home on the cliff side. The clouds make the skies look much darker than what they should be, and heavier precipitation looks to be possible any moment.

Harry's driving down the small road slowly, then his eyes are glancing to his right, the modern house catching his eye.

"This is it," Harry whispers to Louis.

Louis stares over at this beautiful two-story white house, seeing floor to ceiling glass windows on each level.

"Wow," he manages to state before he's smirking, "uh, I hope you didn't spend a fortune on this..."

Harry stays quiet while he's pulling into the drive rather slowly. He brings the car to a stop in front of the one car garage, then he's glancing at Louis again.

"I didn't have to pay for this place," he tells Louis before he continues, "and before you ask me why, it's because a friend of mine owns this. It's their vacation home they use, but they also rent it out from time to time... and it's not who you think it is either. It's one of the photographers that work for Gucci. I've been good friends with him for years... and he and his wife have a beautiful family... they just don’t live here now.”

Louis licks his lips, his eyes staying on Harry's, "you... you didn't have to explain any of that to me... really. I... I mean, I would've asked, I'm sure... but..."

"You would've," Harry says and smiles even more. He steps out of the car slowly, Louis following. They grab the luggage from the trunk before walking to the front door.

Harry's putting a code into the door and it opens at once, a small beeping sound echoing throughout the small hall in front of them now.

Louis steps inside first, Harry staring at him with a small grin. He walks inside and straight up the white stairs. Louis can't help but follow with his bags, his feet right behind Harry's.

He's intrigued by this design, this layout. It's incredibly white, all of it... but it's beautiful and pure. The entire hallway is white. When the stairs reach the top, there's another white hallway leading to a balcony and a bathroom... and then to the right of the stairs is the bedroom.

Louis follows Harry into the bedroom and he's stopping when he sees the view from the floor to ceiling windows; there's nothing but ocean... the cliffs and ocean. And Louis is suddenly speechless again.

Louis glances at Harry while Harry is throwing his bags onto the nearby sofa. He looks at Louis again and Louis only grins.

"This is... identical to... to what I had imagined," he manages to say, his face falling serious, "you have no idea... it's just like I hoped it would be... it's exactly how I had hoped it would look... and I don't know how you've done this..."

Harry manages to smile some, "I... I'm glad that I did well, then. It's the only place that I knew of... besides the inn that sits over behind us."

"It's just... perfect," Louis whispers again while he's walking to the window. He stares down at the ocean waves, then he's looking up at the cloudy skies. "This is fucking beautiful.".

"Hang on... there's another spot you'll like," Harry states and leads the way out of the room. Louis follows him, a wide grin on his face; he couldn't possibly be any happier than he is right now. Harry has made another dream of his become reality again. How could he not love this beautiful boy?

Harry leads Louis downstairs and through the living room before he's going to the sliding doors. He opens it for Louis and waits for him to walk outside first.

Louis can't help but grin as he's stepping out onto this concrete patio, the sound of ocean waves echoing in his ear. There's a white table sitting not too far away along with a small hammock. But he can't get over the ocean view from where he's standing; it's almost like a dream.

"This is stunning," he finally manages to say, "it really is. Jesus, you're fucking amazing for this... you've no idea."

Harry smirks and shrugs his shoulder again, his eyes glancing off at the ocean now, "I really enjoy being with you... and spending time with you. I'd probably take you anywhere you asked me to. That's just the truth. I mean, why not, right? I have the money... I'm able to spend it on trips, but... I've never had anyone to share the experiences with me, until now. I should thank you, too. You're like.. the only person I even want to be around most of the time."

Louis closes his mouth, his eyes meeting Harry's again... and Harry's face remains serious. Louis can tell he means every word, and he's not really surprised by that. Louis knows that Harry only drops his guard around him now. 

"You're literally the only person I want to be around," Louis states and snickers some, Harry looking back at him, "I mean... at times, you're fucking annoying like a best friend would be, or even a brother... but..."

Harry giggles and nods some, knowing he can fully relate to how Louis feels.

"... Then, other times... god... I... I can't stop thinking about you, and how much I want you," Louis confesses out loud, Harry's eyes glancing back at him. "But I've thought about you since the day I met you... up until now. I can recall thinking about you at least once a day..."

"What?" Harry's asking with a small smile, "you've thought of me every single day?"

Louis finally meets Harry's gaze, "I... I thought that was obvious... given that I've basically been living with you since day one."

"You... you think about me that much though?" Harry asks, his tone softer.

Louis stares at him for a moment, hearing the vulnerability in Harry's voice; he's sure that Harry has no clue how much he is loved by him.

"Yeah... I do," Louis manages to reply, "and I... I'm sorry that I do, I guess. You’re really fucking hot...”

"Don't apologise," Harry's chuckling some, "I just... I had no idea that I played on your mind that much. I'm not used... to all this..."

Louis licks his lips and buries his hands in his pockets before he's sighing and glancing back at Harry again, "you've never had a real relationship, so that's understandable. But... I'm just being honest about... how I feel, I guess. You do play on my mind quite a bit... even when I'm next to you..."

Harry's smirking, his dimples showing immediately as he's staring back at Louis... and Louis can't help but smile from ear to ear.

"You... you play on my mind quite a bit, too," Harry states, his tone falling serious as Louis glances back, "I'm just... I'm shit at doing this relationship thing..."

"You'll learn," Louis chuckles, "I'm sure you will in time. And... maybe I can help some... not that I have much more experience..."

Harry snickers some and crosses his arms before he's glancing at the waves again, the wind blowing through his curls. He smiles again, and Louis can't help but smile as well; Harry's much too gorgeous when he's smiling.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Harry asks quietly, his eyes closed now as he's sighing, then taking a deep breath. He grins again and keeps his eyes closed as he's saying, "no noise but the ocean waves... the smell in the air..."

"It's... really amazing," Louis whispers and looks out at the waves again, though he knows Harry's staring at him now, "I can't believe that... that we're standing here... it's like a fucking dream..."

"It's soothing, isn't it?" Harry grins, "god... the sound is amazing. I can only imagine how the rain sounds too on the roof inside."

Louis smirks at how excited Harry is... and he doesn't blame him one bit. He's happy he's here now, too.

Soon, they're going inside and upstairs, Harry opting to change into more comfortable clothes. Louis, however takes a seat on the bed, his eyes still watching the ocean waves.

"It's not going to rain all day tomorrow, is it?" Louis asks quietly, Harry looking back as he's unbuttoning his shirt. Louis closes his mouth when Harry’s shirt falls off and he notices a black and blue spot on Harry's upper left chest area. Louis is sure that it's a bruise that wasn't there earlier... and suddenly he's sick again thinking that Harry must've gotten it the night before at some point. "How... how did..."

Louis stops talking, Harry's eyes already watching him. He places his hand over the bruise before he's looking at Louis again. "It's not a big deal, Lou..."

Louis glances back at Harry, and Harry can tell that he's pissed... but he can see that Louis looks hurt more than anything... and Harry's sure he'd be hurt, too if the situation was reversed.

"I.., I don't really wanna talk about it," Harry's finally speaking again, his eyes on Louis', "yeah, it's exactly what you think it is.... But I... I really wanna just leave it at that for now... please."

Louis blinks slowly, still watching Harry closely. He lets out a deep breath as Harry's putting on a sweatshirt now. Louis watches him pull his curls free, his eyes meeting Louis' again.

"I... I don't wanna talk about him right now," Harry manages to whisper to Louis, "alright?"

Louis finally nods some and says in a low tone, "alright... sure, yeah... whatever you want. I’ll... I’ll order dinner.”

Harry watches Louis rummaging through his bag and he’s asking quietly, “what are you looking for?”

Louis pulls the cigarette box out of the duffel bag and shows it to Harry. He’s taking a joint out of the box and throwing the box onto the bed, then he’s picking up his phone from the nightstand and walking out of the room, Harry only watching him go.

Louis is pissed; he’s more than mad. And he doesn’t understand why this isn’t a bigger deal to Harry. Are bruises just normal life for him? This isn’t something Louis has ever been familiar with personally... and he wonders why Harry has still given into Darren for so long. He wonders why Harry can’t just let things go. What is it that holds him back every time?

The last thing Louis wants is to be pissed at Harry while they’re here. But he’s not sure that he can even have a calm conversation about Darren with Harry.

How does he just pretend that Darren didn’t leave a bruise on Harry? How does he just wait for Harry to be ready to talk to him about it? He’s positive that Harry will, when he’s ready to... but how does Louis get over the fucking anger he feels in this very moment? He wants to hunt down the motherfucker and beat the shit out of him... but he wonders if he’d even be able to find him.

He needs reasoning to kick in and tell him that killing Darren isn’t the right thing to do... but to Louis, it feels like the only right thing to do now. How has anyone allowed this bastard to get away with this for so long? Even if Harry did have feelings for him once upon a time, the way Darren treated Harry was far from right.

He hits the joint between his fingers, his eyes watching the ocean waves again as he’s sitting in one of the patio chairs. He bites his lip as his mind is still filled with different thoughts.

He hears his phone ding and he picks it up, seeing a message from Zayn.

_“Hey man, hope you lads are there by now. Let Harry know that Johnson’s been suspended from the school... until further notice. Have a fun trip x.”_

Louis reads the words slowly... then, he’s reading them again. He’s not sure he even believes what he’s reading.

“What the fuck,” Louis mumbles out loud. He glances at the house again, but Harry still seems to be inside. Louis finally just decides to send him a message on his phone.

He waits a moment, then he finally sees Harry coming out the glass doors with tiny blue shorts on with his sweatshirt.

Louis looks him up and down before he even means to, then he’s sitting up in his chair some as Harry approaches.

“Could’ve just yelled at me,” Harry states, his eyes on the ocean in front of them.

“Did... you get Zayn’s message?” Louis asks slowly, Harry staring at him intently now. He can tell Louis is serious.

“My phone is off,” Harry replies in a soft tone and pats his sweatshirt, “I... I don’t have anyone I need to hear from while we’re here.”

Louis stares at Harry for a long pause, being impressed with the fact that he turned his phone off. He manages to nod some, “well, uh... he messaged me and told me that Darren has been suspended... until further notice.”

Louis watches Harry’s face go pale almost, and he can tell that Harry has no idea what to say. But the anxiety can be seen washing over him immediately.

“He... he didn’t say why...,” Louis tries to add, Harry still staring off.

“I have a good idea why,” Harry states in almost a whisper, Louis’ eyes falling on him again, “oh my god... I... yeah, I’ve gotta quit school...”

Louis looks at him confused and Harry begins talking again before he can say anything. 

“I... I should go to New York,” Harry states in almost a whisper. “I should take the job...”

“Isn’t this a good thing? Shouldn’t you be relieved by this?” Louis asks quietly.

Harry looks back at him, and Louis is sure that he’s never seen Harry so serious. “Relieved? You don’t get it. He most likely got suspended because of me, Lou... and I’ll be suspended because of him.”

“That’s not necessarily true,” Louis states, “maybe it’s something else... drugs... it doesn’t have to mean anyone knows about the 2 of you...”

Harry shakes his head and almost laughs, “come on, Lou. Everyone fucking knew... it wasn’t...”

Harry stops and shakes his head before he’s sighing and rubbing his face.

“I... I don’t know what to do,” Harry whispers out now, “he’s... he’s gonna think I did this. I fucking guarantee it....”

“Why would he think that?” Louis asks, his eyes meeting Harry’s again, “why? What did you tell him last night that would make him think you caused this?”

“I told him I was done with school... that I was done with him,” Harry replies, his eyes on Louis’ now, “and... I mean, that pretty much says it all. Now he’s suspended... and he’ll blame me for this....”

“Who the fuck cares if he does?” Louis asks loudly, “does it fucking matter? God, he... he doesn’t matter...”

“You’re right, he doesn’t matter, but that doesn’t mean he’ll fucking stop either... he won’t. Doesn’t matter if I avoid him... he’ll fucking show up at some point,” Harry is almost shouting, Louis staring at him now. “You... you think all of this is so fucking simple in your head, Lou. It’s not. It’s fucking complicated as hell. And the school most likely knows about us now as well, so yeah... it’s all pretty fucked up, I’d say... and I don’t fucking understand why you’re ok with... with even standing here with me...”

Harry finally closes his mouth, and Louis is still watching him intently.

Louis hits the joint and exhales his hit slowly as he’s asking in a quiet voice, “are you scared of him?”

Harry doesn’t look at Louis as he hands him the joint next. He bites his lip and looks out at the ocean while he’s taking a hit. He exhales slowly and says, “I’m... I’m more afraid of myself when I’m with him.”

And Harry knows those words had to hurt for Louis to hear... because he hurts now after saying them, even if they are true.

But Harry is afraid of himself when he’s with Darren... because a lot of arguments between he and Darren are physical, even borderline violent ... and Harry’s temper usually gets the best of him, even if Darren is the one who starts the fights. They both usually walk away with bruises.

Then, other times, their relationship is the other kind of physical... and Harry has no self control when it comes to Darren. Sex is the only thing Harry ever enjoyed in the first place... but that is no longer the same for him either, and it never will be. Too much has happened... and he can’t see Darren the same anymore.

Louis sits back in his chair again and stays quiet now, wishing that he didn’t have to feel so strongly for Harry sometimes... because some things, when you hear them, do cut deep... like a dagger straight to the heart.

“I just mean... he brings out the worst of me,” Harry manages to get out next, “I... that’s the best way I know to put it. He’s... he’s...”

“He’s a fucking demon,” Louis is interrupting Harry at once, his eyes meeting his again. “There is no other term that is fitting for him. I mean, he’s a fucking stalker too, right? That’s why your phone is off, yeah? Wouldn’t he be able to tell where you are otherwise?”

Harry bites his lip and pulls his phone from the hoodie, holding the button down on the side to power it on.

“It’s... it’s easy to overlook a lot of things... when... when you feel like you know someone,” Harry manages to say, though his voice cracks. Louis meets his gaze and Harry’s face is falling completely serious again. “I didn’t want this. I... I didn’t know what I wanted when I became involved with him... and yeah, it was all a mistake... but... I can’t stand here and say that I didn’t care about him...”

“You don’t have to do this,” Louis whispers. “I get it...”

“You don’t get it,” Harry’s saying even louder, Louis’ mouth closing. “You think you do. But you don’t. Even I don’t get it... and I never will get it.”

Louis bites his lip as Harry’s hitting the joint again and sighing. He watches Harry opening his phone and texting at once, then his phone begins dinging with several messages... and Louis knows who that is.

Harry doesn’t say anything as he’s opening Darren’s messages now. He hasn’t texted Darren since the evening before, but that hasn’t stopped him from texting Harry every few hours. The very last message is Darren telling Harry the school’s decision. He bites his lip and continues reading it, though he knows he shouldn’t.

_“I don’t know who said something. I hope I find out who it was though. Even if it was one of your fucking friends. Hope you’re fucking satisfied with yourself for this. Don’t be surprised if they ask you questions as well. Because 2 can play this fucking game, H. And you’ll lose either way, babe. But good luck. x D”_

Harry goes back to Zayn’s message and he begins a message about the suspension, asking what Zayn knew and telling him he really needed to know. Then, his eyes are glancing back at Louis

He’s feeling so many things right now, but panic is mainly all he feels. He’s worried the school knows everything... he’s worried he’ll be kicked out of school come Monday morning.

“What if they question me, too?” Harry’s finally asking, Louis looking at him immediately. “Because... that’s most likely what this is about...”

Louis crosses his arms, his face serious as he says lowly, “you tell the fuckers the truth, Harry. Every god damn bit of it... and make them see the monster he really fucking is.”

 


End file.
